me, reading aloud a post i just saw on a Queen fanblog: okay but Aziraphale and Crowley are ‘car friend/gay who can’t drive’ solidarity
my roommate, Amias: bold of you to say Crowley can drive
me: him having a car is literally critical to the plot of the book
Amias: doesn’t mean he can drive.
me: are you saying Crowley’s belief that he can drive is the only reason he can?
Amias: yes that’s exactly what i’m saying.
me: if he suddenly was deprived of occult powers and got into a car he’d be like “what the fuck is this”? that’s what you’re saying?
Amias: yes!! look, he goes 110 miles an hour in the middle of London and things rearrange themselves around him, he couldn’t pass a traffic test if his life depended on it. crowley can’t actually drive he’s just doing magic constantly
Pointless LOTR headcanon of the day: Frodo & Merry both take after their mothers, meaning Frodo looks more like a Brandybuck than a Baggins and Merry looks more like a Took. This is a constant source of petty contention.
(Pippin meanwhile absolutely takes after his father & is the most Tookish looking)
Merry: call me a Took one more time
Gandalf: if it looks like a Took and acts like a Took it’s a Took
Merry: I will END you
Gandalf is the only nonhobbit in the fellowship who understands the minutiae of Took Vs Brandybuck Vs Baggins rivalry & he delights in it, everyone else baffled
Frodo: look it’s perfectly simple. The Brandybucks don’t like the Tooks because they play golf and think they’re better than everyone because they occasionally go on adventures. The Tooks don’t like the Brandybucks because they live on the wrong side of the river and like boats. And nobody likes the Bagginses because they’re annoying.
Aragorn: are you… Including yourself in that
Frodo: I said what I said.
Frodo: now the Bagginses don’t like the Brandybucks OR the Tooks because they’re highly disrepectable but also richer than they are. And as far as a lot of the Bagginses are concerned I’m a Brandybuck because I grew up in Buckland and I have the Brandybuck Profile
Merry: which just means he’s not pug-ugly
Frodo: quite.
Aragorn: this is all ridiculous. Keep going.
Gandalf: Hm now I wouldn’t say UGLY but… every Baggins I’ve ever met has been perfectly Round or perfectly Square… There is no middle ground.
Gimli, baffled: Frodo isn’t round OR square
Merry: that’s because he has the Brandybuck profile
Gimli: so… Is he a Brandybuck…
Merry: ABSOLUTE not
Frodo: slander!! I’m a Baggins how dare you
Pippin: was your father a Round Baggins or a Square Baggins
Frodo: my father… Was the ROUNDEST Baggins who ever lived… A perfect Sphere of hobbit…
I find that if I’m wearing Real Adult Business Clothes my worksona can do things like call people and check my inbox, whereas pajamas hellen mostly wants to shovel hamburgers into her face and set things on fire.
taking a shower is a great help in getting my ass going tbh
what if our most iconic contribution to galactic culture is the haka?
not just the haka itself, but the concept of a war dance. some other species have dance or something like it, but it’s either specifically a courtship thing, or it’s very homey and cooperative, pretty much folk dance. the idea of dancing as a way to showcase aggression is just – wham, cognitive dissonance.
and then you add on the way humans will make their bodies do impossible things, and wear outfits that show off how muscular they are? and the music, my stars, it’s so violent!
everyone finds it extremely intimidating.
exporting war dancing was not intentional, per se. it’s just that some human pirate hunter decided to pull an iron man and broadcast ‘bitch better have my money’ on all channels while hitting some freight raiders and the crew had a lot of adrenaline to work out.
It’s 5 in the morning and I have a FANTASTIC story about how bad I made this one guy rage quit our DnD session tonight, all because he didn’t want to do a character interaction and he just wanted me to HAND HIM THE ANSWERS about my character’s backstory. I was in no way being malevolent about it, all i wanted to do was play a role-playing game by – oh, you know – ROLE-PLAYING – and he got SO UPSET you guys and I’m so fucking salty lmao
but it’s 5 AM so I’m going to tell this story when I wake up tomorrow
So before I get to the climax of this story I think I’m going to break down the escalation and the context into bullet points, because he’s been so fucking annoyed with everything that I do even though it was all legal lmao. It’s a long story so i’ll put it under a read more but it’s worth every second bc this guy can be extremely obnoxious and i’m not sorry at all for what i did.
just moving along like everyone else 