a lot of characters that get called villains are actually on this sort of spectrum from anti-hero to outright evil, and somewhere closer to anti-hero is my favorite dumbass, the tantrum baby who lacks belief or understanding of the inherent value of human life. he’s just an entitled dingus with more power than he deserves, hugely overreacting to minor slights because he doesn’t know how to deal with having his feelings hurt. so, like, if you know how to handle him he actually seems like a fun dude and he enters that grey area of ‘villains we hang out with now like some kind of weird murder uncle’. but all it takes is one person being kind of a dick and haha whoops he’s. he’s a bad guy. bonus points if the tantrum baby in question is also fiercely loyal, once that loyalty has been earned, inevitably saddling some poor cinnamon roll with the world’s most excessive bodyguard.
Entirely because of this post by @samwell-womens-hockey. Tango asks how long Bittle and Jack have been together.
He’s not trying to snoop, it’s just there. When he asked for a closer look at the Jack Zimmermann OYO figurine Bitty told him to feel free and turned back to folding his laundry, so now Tango is holding the figure up but he got distracted by the calendar. It’s right behind the mini Jack, so it’s not like he was looking for it, but all those hearts are pretty eye catching.
“Is this your boyfriend’s birthday?” He asks, pointing at the little cake drawing. It’s pretty cute, actually.
“My what now?” Bitty says, almost casual except that he’s stiffened up, fingers clutching into the sweater in his hands, and Tango really stepped in it this time. He’s always asking stupid questions and it’s not the first time he’s said the wrong thing and someone needs to put a sock in his mouth.
“Oh, uh, I-” he stutters “didn’t mean to assume that you’re… I just thought that-”
“Hush, Tango,” Bitty says, taking pity on him. He doesn’t look angry or upset, but his smile is definitely forced. “You didn’t assume wrong, ok? Now go downstairs and get those sheets from the dryer.”
So he goes, because now that he knows about dibs he’ll do anything if it means he doesn’t have to live in those smelly dorms next year, but as he’s struggling to fold the fitted sheet he wonders why Bitty avoided the question.
Headcanon I’m working on now: Bitty is team captain in his senior year. He has nebulous “omg what to do when I graduate???” thoughts but his plans are mainly “move in with Jack in Rhode Island, get a job”
Then scouts for NHL feeder teams start showing up to his games. And practices. And taking him out for coffee. And asking him who his agent is. Because let’s get real, someone who can start playing a sport and end up at NCAA championship level five years later? Is a pretty special athlete.
When he gets the offers Bitty is originally like, but I don’t WANT to play pro hockey! I wanna be with my boyfriend!
The greatest part of this would be when Bitty and Jack have games against each other, because their competitiveness would get ranked up to a million, since the loser will basically get chirped non stop by friends, teammates, family and of course each other.
And maybe Jack and Bitty start making small harmless bets. It starts with winner picks what we eat for dinner and what we watch afterwards, but then they move to stuff like if Jack wins Bitty can’t use twitter for the whole weekend, or Jack will have to appear on his next vlog post etc.
(And of course there’s the private fun stuff they also bet on but will never tell anybody about winkwink)
So it’s always small silly stuff, but they take it super seriously. And then they start using the games to settle arguments like this:
“Y’all, we need to win. You don’t understand, we have to. If we don’t Jack is taking us to the most boring vacation in history. He wants to go to
Gettysburg,
Pennsylvania
to watch a reenactment of the battle and of the
Gettysburg
Address and if I have to go, you will see a grown man cry of boredom. I want to go to the beach. I deserve to go to the beach.”
“We agreed the winner will get to set the thermostat. Bitty always puts it too high and it’s annoying.”
“If we win Jack will finally admit he has been pronouncing
pecan
wrong! No you don’t understand, this is important, we have been arguing about this for years.”
“Bitty will stop breaking diet and I’m afraid if we don’t win this, his nutritionist will kill him.” (They don’t win this, because there is 0 chance you will get Bitty’s team to give up all the baked goods they have been getting since he joined the team.)
Also, it is absolutely impossible to get interviews afterwards with either of them, because turns out playing against each other is like the weirdest most intense form of foreplay ever.
Like they can’t see each other very often during game season, so by the end of their games they honestly couldn’t care less about anything other than making it to each others apartments, so they skedaddle
with 0 shame and sometimes just go straight to the car and shower at home.
George: Jack, you have interviews…
Jack: (speed walking away) No.
George: Jack!
Jack: (pretends not to hear her) Goodbye.
And well, George figures there’s some battles you can’t win and at least she’ll get an apology pie for this.
Jack lives alone, but Bitty has roommates. However they know better than to show their faces after a game, like we are talking complete pie ban for the whole team for a month here.
Also, if you think Jack Zimmermann is scary on the ice, you have never seen his face when you interrupt marathon sex after weeks of not seeing his boyfriend.
Fantasy AU where Nursey is the prophesied hero on a quest to finally take down the tyrannical rule of the Chads. Dex is a fisherman who gets roped into sailing Nursey across a sea for his quest and unwillingly becoming the salty sidekick on the adventure
Some more on this AU
Bad Bob was the loving, kind king before the Chads took over
Bob, his wife Alicia, and his son Jack were like, the cutest family ever everyone loved them
The Chads were able to take over because they somehow got their hands on something that gave them ice powers
When the Chads take over, the Zimmermanns take refuge with the Bittles, a family of bakers a few towns over from the capitol.
(This got really long so the rest is under the cut)
how universal of an experience is having the giving tree read to you as a small child and being distraught even tho the teacher seemed to think it was a nice story. also is this a gendered phenomenon. do girlchildren know on some level that they’re the tree not the little boy
Children designated as “gifted and talented” frequently melt down because of this story. Boys and girls both. I’ve heard many G&T educators say they don’t bring The Giving Tree or The Rainbow Fish into their classrooms at all because of it.
Wow, what is it about gifted and talented kids that makes those stories hit them so hard?
Because those stories are innately about what to do with gifts and talents, and in the case of those particular books, children often interpret them as “give up all sense of self and bodily autonomy, and carve yourself to pieces to make other people like you.”
let me tell u something chefs love memes about how a kitchen works and this one caused my entire kitchen to riot and my head chef sent it to all the area chefs in the company
So the last time I reblogged this, someone reblogged from me with a comment along the lines of “wait till you see them with swords”. So I went to search it up, and… guys. GUYS.
There are actual sparks flying holy shit =O
and at the very end one ballerina comes rolling up like “you have learned well, my padawans”
just moving along like everyone else 