HC that during his first NCAA season a sports commentator caustically called Jack “a role model for fuckups everywhere” and ten years later Jack puts it on a shirt and wears it.
“I feel like Jack is so polite the U would be a maple leaf” – @imaginarycircus
All the better for teenagers to be able to wear it aggressively!
Zimmermania: REBEL AGAINST YOUR PARENTS AND F THE POLICE BY achieving excellence in your chosen field and pushing yourself academically NO MATTER WHAT ANYONE ELSE TELLS YOU
since I’ve been drawing cp characters in novelty shirts anyway… i was too late to get the maple leaf 😦 anyway. older jack :
OKAY SO OBSERVATIONS AS I OBSESSIVELY LISTEN TO HALO
1. The song just started in the first panel
2. From “didn’t even make a sound” to the chorus is a LONG TIME. 25 whole seconds. I think Jack stood there, heart sinking into the floor, frozen, he’s too late, he missed him– until Bitty said “lord”
3. And bitty almost definitely said “lord” at the beginning of the chorus, because he came in with the 2nd line in the last panel
Okay, but head canon that Tater starts jogging in the mornings with Jack. Tater hates jogging. Look, he will bike and lift and do whatever else he has to do but he hates running. But Jack comes to the Falcs and everyone is expecting a hotshot diva, bc Jack is being brought in to be the face of the franchise. Except Jack is quiet and a dork, doesn’t speak up outside of practice, ducks out whenever they go out after games. And yeah, maybe he reminds Tater and little of himself, 19 years old and fresh from Russia, broken English and the need to prove himself. So Tater decides they’re going to be friends.
They go on runs three times a week, Tater driving to Jack’s apartment. Afterwards they go up and Jack makes protein shakes. Days they don’t have practice after, Tater goes home and showers, then they meet for breakfast. The rest of the team finds out after about a month and chirp Tater relentlessly, bc they all know that Tater hates running. Jack is mortified, tries to tell Tater he doesn’t have to come anymore but Tater just laughs and is like"it’s okay zimmboni, is good for me, more stamina on ice yes? Also good for you, not run alone and sit sad in apartment after" and that’s that.
Except now Tater complains all the time, and Jack just laughs at him, running faster and making fun of him for not keeping up.
Jack opens up a bit more after that, invites Tater over to play video games. It’s on one of these afternoons, where they drove to Jack’s after practice and have played three hours of CoD and are starving that Tater digs through Jack’s fridge to see if he has anything to eat. He finds a container with pie, a sticky note on it that says “for when you’re missing me xx B ❤
He brings the container out to Jack who kind of freezes and Tater is like “you have girlfriend is why you never come out with us????” And Jack just nods, and Tater declares that he’s a bad friend for not telling him and he gets no pie. Ofc then Jack wrestles him bc that’s sugar crusted apple and like hell he isn’t getting any.
lisTEN Tater and Bitty have like, not a single impulse control between the two. Oftentimes people get fooled by Bitty’s politeness, need for a clean kitchen, and preference for people not to spit on the ground (LOOKING AT YOU, NURSEY, YOU GROSS COLLEGE BOY) and think, this is a reasonable and level headed young man! they are wrong.
Tater: B! What if I get huge soda bottles, big ones, and shake them.
Bitty: D: that makes it go flat though, do you not like the fizz?
Tater: *shakes his head* No, no. I strap them onto me and shake them and then BOOM! I fly.
Bitty: Hmm, I don’t think so…
Tater: :((((((
Bitty: You’re too gosh darn heavy! Strap it on me!
Tater: :DDDDDDDD
Tater: B! B! Guess what!
Bitty: I don’t know, why don’t you tell me?
Tater: *shows a picture* new motorcycle! I see it, I like it, now it’s mine!
Bitty: *fans himself really hard because he LOVES those bikes* oh dear
Tater: You one of my best friend. First person I ask to ride with me.
Bitty: Mister Tater! I am delighted and honored!
And then they proceed to ride the motorcycle WITHOUT A HELMET until they get pulled over by a cop, and tater’s telling the story to the team later and jack hyperventilates because HIS BOYFRIEND WAS ON A MOTORCYCLE WITHOUT A HELMET.
One day jack walks into the kitchen to find Tater with tears streaming down his very red face as Bitty feeds him pieces of what looks like mini pie and asking “how about this? is this spicy enough?”
“I’m feel dying and my soul return to heaven. Not enough. Do more.”
Tater: What I’m be for Halloween? Has to be sexy.
Bitty: Haha what about a stripper
They look at each other and an electrical moment passes between them
Tater: I’m go shave my legs now!!!
Bitty: Yes you do that and I’m going online right NOW to find the perfect costume!!!
Tater: WHY THIS RAZOR SO SHARP??
Bitty: here let me shave you!
And then when Tater’s practicing his routine, he routinely asks Bitty whether it’s sexy enough. He’s not doing it very close to Bitty (bc Bitty’s personal space expands when there’s stripping involved by ppl other than jack)
Tater: Weird to ask Jack, you know. He my teammate.
Bitty: I completely understand, and oh dear this is making me blush! *giggles*
Tater: *performs another body roll*
Bitty: *giggles*
That one time Bitty went to the hospital because Tater thought it would be a funny prank to empty out a windex bottle and pour blue gatorade in it so Bitty can shock everyone, but someone accidentally switched the bottle so Bitty drank a mouthful of actual windex.
I feel like Tater’s like the one person who finally convinced Bitty to try weed? Like in the sense that Tater’s never tried it because the fear of his parents is strong, and Bitty’s only had contact high before and never bothered with actually trying it himself. And Tater is curious bc it seems like a lot of the college athletes are high and he wants to try! And Bitty because oh well, if you want to try it I’ll do it too!
They chose a time during the off season, so that Tater won’t get in trouble. And Bitty makes the most delicious weed brownies in existence. And then Tater promptly forgets that they’re weed brownies and eat wayyyy too much and Bitty’s too high to deal with him and Jack comes home to two grown men giggling over his couch. (Tater’s okay, bitty made sure not to bake too much.)
That one time Tater wrenched his shoulder dabbing with Bitty on the ice.
When Bitty was super drunk and Tater handed him a banana and Bitty deepthroated it in front of everyone and then promptly choked and almost died.
That time they were lighting fireworks with their bare hands and didn’t get injured at ALL.
Georgia had to give a little talk to Jack about how tater and bitty should never be left alone, and maybe Jack can thirdwheel some of their hangouts a little bit more?
Jack: I’m the one dating Bitty, you know.
Georgia: He’s an amazing person, but I also need his friendship with Tater to change into something less life threatening.
I’m a bit obsessed with these tweets right now. In my headcannon Holster takes it much harder than he lets on, maybe even only Bitty realizes how hard it is for him, because he’s kind of been there before. Ugh, someone write a fic! Maybe I will…
Someone referenced this series of tweets once and focussed on ‘haha holster is bad at folding laundry’ and completely missed the point that Holster is so upset because Rans is hooking up with someone in their room. I was a believer of Ransom + Holster = adorable bromance UNTIL I read Bitty’s twitter… There’s actually quite a bit to suggest that at least Holster has some more than bromantic feelings for his fellow dman. Awesome illustration of the scene 🙂
honestly I am still not over the fact that Jack 110% zimmerman vaulted over a snowbank to ask bitty out for coffee and bitty still didn’t have a clue Jack liked him????
to be fair jack didn’t have a clue that he liked bitty either
okay so i know most fics are written from the perspective of “bitty has huge, he-thinks-is-unrequited crush on jack” because that’s what we saw in canon but personally??? i LIVE for ones with jack having a huge crush on bitty first!!! just!!! this poor goober of a boy completely head over heels for this ray of sunshine that showed up suddenly and not knowing at all how to deal with it!!! awkwardly trying to compliment him but not knowing how!!! “your hair is very…yellow, bittle.” yes it is jack but he doesn’t know that’s your favorite color!!! please save this awkward, hopelessly-in-love doof from himself
honestly i am not entirely convinced this is not actually how it happened, especially given that bitty says “chirping and flirting are variants on the same idea.” on twitter and then he proceeds? to document? all of the chirping? jack throws at him? like, bitty… buddy… c’mon… open your eyes….
like. jack “i’m going make it so we can get into the same seminar and also i’m going to carefully plan everything so you have to help me on the big project because of course it involves baking and you’re a baker” zimmermann is 100% head over heels for bitty before bitty has his “never fall for a straight boy” moment in the kitchen during the previously mentioned big baking project, and i will stand by this for as long as i live
there’s a very obvious difference in bitty’s height in these two panels and i need to know more about zimbits hugging like
does bitty jump at jack? does jack just catch him like the 110% he is? or does jack lean down and pick itty bitty up off the ground? look at bitty’s little socked foot in the corner he kicks his legs back and if that isn’t the cutest darn thing
there are so many ways this hug can play out and i need answers
I wish I knew how to draw so I could animate my answer but my hc is that Bitty jumps into Jack’s arms and Jack grabs him around the waist and leans back so Bitty is further into the air, which causes Bitty to lift his legs thus the reason why his foot is in the panel
just moving along like everyone else 