bisexualpiratequeen:

missvoltairine:

bisexualpiratequeen:

bisexualpiratequeen:

Once
a boy looked very sadly at me after a little bit of conversation.
‘you’re so smart’ he said, ‘I feel like I couldn’t keep up’. And then he
did that sad boy face where you’re supposed to agree to tone yourself
down. So I said ‘probably’ and fucked his mate.

some top advice from a slut, here, 90% of the time when some boy looks sad and tells you you’re too ‘x’ to keep up with it’s a ploy to get you to cut bits off yourself so you can come down to his mediocre level; instead, agree with him and fuck his mate

I am a slut
Wen on a dayte
With Boye who would
Manipulate
I’m not sway’d by
His saddened state-
I say okay
I fuck his mayte

The only good addition to this post

misspryss:

grimdarkthroes:

realslimcaity:

IHust wiOke upmy whol hOUSSe

I’m telling this story again b/c fuck it but anyways I was playing D&D and one of my friends went “brown bear brown bear what do you see” and on cue three of us turn to him and like, death metal screech “ALLLL”.

The dude goes completely pale faced. I saw true horror in his eyes. 

He didn’t know the joke.

So apparently dude just had three of his best friends demonically screech at him for no goddamn reason.

I do not think I will ever cause that level of sheer terror and confusion ever again in my life.

My name is Bear.
Wen frum the deep
The Old Wuns waken
Frum their sleep
And Cthulhu sounds
His maddening call
I do not blink
I see it all.