– everyone answering “no, i’m fred” to “are you [insert Y/N]” even hermione
– everything draco does ever
– calling blast ended skrewts “power bottoms”
– calling newt scamander bad variations of his name like nerd sandwicher etc
– colin creevey using that one picture he managed to get of hermione punching draco as a reaction image
– shouting “spank me daddy” at the whomping willow
– [pointing at random object] that’s a portkey
– every single cat is professor mcgonagall
why
– POTTER
– ever since snape’s “bottle fame, brew fortune” speech students just go on and on with it – “flambé success, bake brilliance” “Can you tutor me in charms?” “TUTOR you? I can teach you how to SAUTÉ EXCELLENCE.”
She’s calmly eating in the dining hall when an owl swoops in and drops off a scroll and a howler.
Hesitantly, she opens the scroll. All it has i done word on it:
“SOME”
Looking over at the Howler, she suggenly get very worried. Carefully she opens up the Howler, dreading what it’s going to contain. The Howler rips itself open.
In CoS when they try to sneak into Myrtle’s bathroom to ask her about her death, McGonagall catches them and Harry makes up the excuse that they wanted to see Hermione in the hospital wing and Minnie doesn’t give them detention and then comes this and since we all know Harry’s dumbest excuse, here’s the official suggestion to rate all of Harry’s excuses on a scale from
to
I have no time to do anything
A Ravenclaw while they procrastinate something that completely have the time to do (via ravenclawravings)
The older I get, the more I think about
the early years of Tom Riddle aka. Voldemort. Now that I’m in my mid-twenties,
I find it hard to believe that an eleven-year-old child could be irredeemably
evil. I know that children can be cruel or callous, and they are capable of
causing other children harm, even severe, irreparable harm. But writing a
pre-teen off as evil, instead of giving him the adequate resources to learn how
not to be evil, that is just irresponsible, and I don’t know if this is an
in-story mistake on Dumbledore’s part, or a writing mistake on JKR’s part.
Anyway, little Tom Riddle was fucked up
and amoral but not necessarily evil, and he became evil in his teenage years,
during his Hogwarts education. He opened the Chamber of Secrets and committed
his first murder at the age of sixteen. (When I read the book at the age of
nine, he seemed like a grown-up, now he strikes me as incredibly young.)
I was thinking about things that could
have turned him back around, that could have shown him another path, taught him
the value of ‘house-elves and children’s tales, love, loyalty and innocence.’
And an image came to me, an image so sharp and beautiful that I know for
certain that I will never be able to do it justice.
All that it would take is a minor
coincidence, a small flaw in the plan: he tries to frame Hagrid for opening the
chamber, but he waits too long, and Hagrid has already gotten rid of Aragog,
smuggled him safely into the forest. So Tom improvises: he lures Hagrid down to
the chamber with rumours of a magnificent beast, and plans to leave him there
to be stared to death. He’s already forged a sheaf of stupid notes with the stupid
oaf’s stupid handwriting that will tell everyone that Hagrid was the one
terrorising the school until he lost control of the basilisk. (Of course this
change of plans means that the chamber will be discovered and there’s a good
chance the serpent will be killed. A pity, but not a catastrophe: he loses a
useful stronghold and a weapon, but the serpent might kill some people before
it’s brought down, and the discovery of the Chamber will strike fear into the
hearts of the Mudbloods. Not a bad outcome.)
So he leaves the chamber, drops a few
hints to the overgrown idiot, (pretending to befriend him was pathetically
easy), and follows Hagrid down the chute with a few minutes of delay.
He expects to find a dead body and a
bored basilisk. What he finds instead is this: the basilisk rearing up to the
height of fifteen feet, with the oaf standing right in front of him, not
running, not moving, with both his arms held up. His eyes are shut tight – he
must be smarter than Riddle thought he was – and he’s talking. It’s not
Parseltongue, it’s just plain English with a thick Yorkshire accent, saying
things like ‘look at you, little darling, what a wonder you are, what a beauty,
won’t you come down here, sweetheart’? The basilisk coils and shifts, it sways
its head from side to side, then bends its enormous head downwards. Riddle is
certain that it is going to strike, that it will sink its venomous fangs into
that stupid, trusting oaf. But the basilisk bends down, bends even lower, and
butts its nose into Hagrid’s hands. The oaf keeps talking, murmurs ‘that’s right,
sweetheart, you’re a good girl’ as his oversized hands pat the scaly snout, the
huffing nostrils… the closed eyelids. Hagrid opens his eyes, and gets to look
the basilisk directly in the face before it swings around, slithers away and
coils up in the other corner of the chamber.
Hagrid laughs, too loud, too high, a
little hysterical, and by now Riddle sees that he’s shaking, his legs are so
unsteady that he can hardly stand. Glancing around, he spots Riddle, hiding too
carelessly in the doorway, and beckons him over.
‘You were right.’ He says breathlessly.
‘This place is amazing!’
And that is the moment Riddle realises
there are lots of powerful things in the world he did not yet know about. If he
wants power, real power, he needs to learn more, and it starts with this boy,
this oversized, shabbily dressed boy with his stupid snakecharmer’s grin.
#i was an evil motherfucker at eleven#a lot of us were#you outgrow it#unless you get locked into it#hogwarts locked tom into it#but that’s the human tragedy#personally i think it’s good writing#because it’s depicting something that really happens to people#albeit with less basilisks usually
in america this is the school-to-prison pipeline basically
okay but don’t try to tell me that some muggle born kids in America or Canada (or Russia!!!!) won’t have AT LEAST one (1) person with a goalie as their patronus, like i’m calling bullshit if you think that a 6 foot something man decked out in protective gear squatting in front of you and batting dementors away like pucks during warmups isn’t something that has happened in these countries
for that matter what about d-men, what about fiesty players body slamming dementors away to whatever hellscape they came from isn’t totally gonna protect you or at least make the situation less scary
but it’s not just obscure, generic “goalies” or “d-men” no it’s legitimately real people probably based on the person’s favorite team or the team they have good memories with so please just imagine being in that situation and ur friend’s patronus is Marc-Andre Fleury and yours is Henrik Lundqvist and your sisters is Kris Letang but your neighbors is Jordie Benn and I am just
Hermione smugly presenting the findings of the international symposium that declared Pluto not a planet as final proof that astrology is made up.
But it turns out that’s what’s been throwing off everyone’s readings so a lot of divination quickly starts becoming more refined and accurate when they take that into account.
Hermione is hailed as a divination savant and that’s what she’s most known in the history books for.
I vividly remember the scene in like the second movie where the Weasleys were looking at their school supply list and Molly was like “I really don’t know how we’re going to afford it this year” after they had just risked life and limb to rescue Harry and Harry was sitting there eating their food like ¯_(ツ)_/¯
Harry ‘Dickhead’ Potter through a mouth full of Wizardburger Helper “idk…….that’s……wow that sucks i guess lol so i’m thinking about buying this solid gold cauldron what do yall think? a little over the top?”
“oh that’s wild lmao… hey check this out I’m gonna buy all the candy off the cart on the train”
“dude you guys haven’t been able to buy new robes in like 10 years….wow that sucks i guess kek but hey lets go get some butterbeer my treat but fuck you :)”
He was literally 12 years old at this point in time, as well as the fact that he always felt extremely bad about their situation and even tried to pay for things for Ron numerous times, however he knew that Ron was ashamed and prideful over his lack of money.
Not to mention he gave Ginny all of Lockharts Defence Against The Dark Arts books, and gave Fred and George his triwizard winnings in the fourth book.
And if you think, for even a second, that Molly or Arthur Weasley would have ever taken money from him then you don’t know that family at all.
Oh, and when he got all the candy on the train, he was extremely malnourished after being mistreated and abused from living with the dursleys, and made sure that he got enough for himself and Ron, whom he had literally only just met.
a literal child who, only hours prior, was in the process of being starved and abused by his relatives in a room with bars on the windows: *eats food*
narcissa malfoy was probably the most powerful occlumens in hogwarts history and nobody knew
she literally stood up to lord voldemort and lied that harry potter was dead and i don’t know about you but if i were an evil ruler i would probably want to triple-check that my nemesis was, you know, actually deceased
voldemort had actual doubts about snape
narcissa swans on by without a whisper, without a second glance
narcissa malfoy understood from a young age that she was meant to do only a few things: look pretty, say nothing, and marry well.
narcissa malfoy understood those rules, and she layered her mind with them.
look pretty. wear the most expensive robes. grandmother’s pearls. curl your hair every night. think only of clothes and dimples and the way your hair falls when you flutters you eyelashes at a boy.
say nothing. don’t speak when mother and father are screaming at each other. demurely look down as another boy asks you to dance. retreat into the reading room when your family friends, known death eaters and criminals, pay your parents a visit and speak in hushed voices over tea. think of pretty things.
marry well. marry into a family of your parents’ friends. bear children. wear pearls and look demure and think of nothing but pretty, pretty things, like the way your husband’s hair gleams in candlelight.
masters must learn the rules before they can break them. narcissa learned the rules so well that they wrapped around her; sank into her skin and her mind. they protect her from enemies. they conceal the quick, strategic plots ticking her brain into gear every moment of every day. they hide the calculation of each smile, each movement.
narcissa is so good, so perfect, that no one will ever know.
Not only was this one of the most badass moments of the books, but it was genuinely surprising without being some Random Shit Out Of Fucking Nowhere that some authors/scriptwriters think is all there is to being surprising/shocking.
Because it makes perfect sense. Of course Narcissa would turn on Voldemort without a second thought to protect her son. Not only because she’s his mother, but because that’s how Voldemort was defeated the first time around, and Voldemort cannot change or learn. 1980′s Voldemort was defeated because of a mother’s love, Lily’s sacrifice for Harry.
Lily was not considered important to Voldemort, only James and Harry were. Voldemort was even willing to spare her for Snape, if she didn’t put up a fight (which of course she did). To him, Lily was irrelevant, because she was a woman and Muggle-born. Voldemort underestimated her, and it cost him. So naturally he would do the same thing again in the 90′s, focusing on Harry and the prophecy, never considering the thing that defeated him before might do so again. He was wary of Lucius and Draco, but underestimated Narcissa and it lead directly to his defeat. And she KNEW he did, and used it to her advantage.
This short-sightedness is even reflected in his most ardent supporter Bellatrix, who was also killed by a furious mother protecting her child.
A mother’s love started the series, and a mother’s love ended it.
A mother’s love started the series, and a mother’s love ended it.
YES.
Blessed are the mothers, whose love is constantly underestimated.