jumpingjacktrash:

turing-tested:

turing-tested:

turing-tested:

turing-tested:

turing-tested:

every potterstuck au neglects the idea of alpha rose sending dirk and hal to hogwarts and the following bullshit that only two rowdy boys from texas could pull

‘Why do I need to take defense against the dark arts?

I have yet to encounter a problem where a sword didn’t factor into the solution at least in some way.”

hal enchants a mcdonalds cup to keep his sweet tea cold and all of the other students are horrified 

hal: YAINT
all of the other students, crying:

“What do you MEAN it takes dark magic to splinter my soul? I did it like. twice before breakfast yesterday. Is that not supposed to happen?”

“hi, i’m dirk, and this is my horcrux, hal. uh… what are y’all making that face for?”