every potterstuck au neglects the idea of alpha rose sending dirk and hal to hogwarts and the following bullshit that only two rowdy boys from texas could pull
‘Why do I need to take defense against the dark arts?
I have yet to encounter a problem where a sword didn’t factor into the solution at least in some way.”
hal enchants a mcdonalds cup to keep his sweet tea cold and all of the other students are horrified
hal: YAINT
all of the other students, crying:“What do you MEAN it takes dark magic to splinter my soul? I did it like. twice before breakfast yesterday. Is that not supposed to happen?”
“hi, i’m dirk, and this is my horcrux, hal. uh… what are y’all making that face for?”
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just moving along like everyone else 