Aries: a gemini, possibly in cahoots with a scorpio
Taurus: a scorpio
Gemini: immortal
Cancer: a capricorn
Leo: a capricorn
Virgo: an aquarius
Libra: a capricorn
Scorpio: a libra
Sagittarius: a capricorn
Capricorn: cannot be killed
Aquarius: a virgo
Pisces: an aquarius
aries: 1st type – cute, bubblegum eternal child 2nd type – impulsive antagonist 3rd type – seductive risk taker
taurus 1st type – earthy artist 2nd type – mature and maternal figure 3rd type – gluttonous pleasure seeker
gemini 1st type – childlike clown 2nd type – sophisticated socialite / academic 3rd type – disorganised basket case
cancer 1st type – aggressive, moody sensitive 2nd type – empathetic counsellor 3rd type – martyred worrier
leo 1st type – exuberant performer 2nd type – wants to save the world 3rd type – hates themselves openly
virgo 1st type – self critical nervous wreck 2nd type – cool and composed problem solver 3rd type – exemplary server
libra 1st type – lonely, dependant, and sensitive relationship seeker 2nd type – formidable leader, justice seeking and moral 3rd type – airy flirter and artist
scorpio 1st type – brooding, silent, angry at the world, unstable 2nd type – curious, fascinating emotional lover, interested in the world and complex 3rd type – powerful magnetiser, arousing and seductive
sagittarius 1st type – uncontrollable and impulsive trickster 2nd type – philosophical and wise guide 3rd type – travel hungry, life absorbing wanderer
capricorn 1st type – consumed labourer, contributing and sacrificial 2nd type – lazy and lethargic, melancholic and paranoid 3rd type – regal leader, success story, overcomer of obstacles with grace
aquarius 1st type – introverted and misunderstood outsider 2nd type – playful child, interested by everyone and everything, cool and kind 3rd type – eccentric madman, drunk professor
pisces 1st type – spiritual temple, compassionate comforter 2nd type – addicted daydreamer incapable of dealing with reality 3rd type – gossipy trickster, two faced and complex
Aries: Make a hot chocolate, spend the day in your underwear. Most things can wait.
Taurus: No, screaming and running around in circles isnt terribly effective at solving problems but its cathartic dammit and thats the point.
Gemini: Did you know you can pretty much dance wherever you want? Most people are too uncomfortable to ask you to stop. Dance away you mad thing, dance.
Cancer: You cant unbreak an egg. You can try. But you will have a horrific creation of super glue and scotch tape and nobody wants that.
Leo: If you’re making curry, make sure to chop the veggies really fine grate them if you can, and let the curry reduce 50% longer than you think it needs too.
Virgo: If you ever cant relax, sit your ass down and find yourself a fuckin coloring book.
Libra: There is time enough for that. There is time enough for rest too.
Scorpio: With good timing, curses can be reflected with baseball bats.
Ophiuchus: Everything has a darker nature.
Sagittarius: What most people call mistakes, great artists call style. You are your imperfections.
Capricorn: After enough time, one knows exactly how much cereal to pour into a particular bowl. Zen.
Aquarius: The twirling of the room is no danger to you. It means its time to sleep.
Pisces: Your heart should always have a couch for others to crash on.
Aries: Get one of the cartons of whole grain goldfish. Fill it with the normal kind. Nobody will ever know. Now it will look healthy when you eat them by the fistful on the subway.
Taurus: Stub your toe. Scream. Form a fugue. It will be a cathartic fugue.
Gemini: Yes, the scissors and the bike are made of the same thing. This does not mean they are interchangeable. At least not without a forge. Know what you can work with.
Cancer: Sense cannot be trusted. Only astrology blogs can be trusted. Good luck reading them without your senses though.
Leo: There is no place in the world for elitism. There is only room enough for conga.
Virgo: Consider yourself. Consider the complexity of a music box. Consider the simplicity of the lullaby it plays. How complex is the sleep that follows?
Libra: You don’t win new friend without bloodshed now spit out those teeth and get back in there.
Scorpio: I know it keeps the rain off you but anything that can be described as “flesh rending” is not appropriate job interview attire.
Ophiuchus: The tiny statues of famous actors you made out of paper clips have come to life and set up a surprisingly intricate government under your bed. They revere you as a god. Time for some smiting.
Sagittarius: As symbolic as it is, the process of a butterfly emerging from a cocoon is a rather horrific process.
Capricorn: Capricorns know what they did and will get their fortune once they learn their manners.
Aquarius: A rubber band is only as useful as is devious the mind that holds it.
Pisces: The internet is fraught with bias, dice don’t make sense all the time, and only other option would be ourselves and we all know that bastard can’t be trusted.
anyone: *says something bordering affection but really is just being polite*
me, a loving fool: 😫❤️❤️❤️❤️💋💋💖💖💖💖💖😍😍😍😍😍😍😍I📢📢📢LOVE📢📢📢❤️❤️❤️📢📢YOU📢💓💕📢💖📢📢 WITH📢📢💋💋🔥💕📢📢📢EVERY📢📢💘💘💝📢💝📢📢📢OUNCE📢📢📢😫😫💓📢💓📢💓📢📢OF MY 📢💖💘😍📢BEING📢❤️📢💘📢💕📢💋📢💜📢
this is why people always think the air signs are flirting
anyone being polite: taurus, gemini, virgo, libra, scorpio, capricorn, aquarius
me, a loving fool: aries, cancer, leo, also libra, sagittarius, pisces
just moving along like everyone else 