me roasting the everloving fuck out of homestuck, as is common in a rather unhealthy blackrom
This is very good and very true. It’s like Hussie just assumed Act 7 would be done in a few months and then when we realized animation takes time he just stalled forever.
OP is also leaving out
* Pre-scratch and post-scratch Jane meet up, but don’t do anything interesting (or even speak onscreen?)
* [S] Cascade ends with the heroes killing the Condesce, who is immortal. The music even turns sinister at the end to call attention to the fact that the Condesce can’t actually die, except nvm she can I guess because the comic’s over.
* Aranea mind-controls all the ghosts to their deaths, and none of the ghosts care about it. Once she dies again and presumably returns to the afterlife she is never seen or mentioned again
* Rose actually complains that she never figured out what “play the rain” even means, let alone did it, and the fact that every’s character arc has fizzled out is lampshaded and handwaved with “real people don’t have character arcs” in a realistic story where half the cast died at least once and all the humans are gods.
* Speaking of missing character arcs, Rose never meets her Denizen. (Neither does Dave, unless you count Davesprite)
* The main four kids never work together, because Jade is asleep the whole climax and, when she does wake up, tries to break up a fight between Bec Noir and some other dog she’s never seen before because she’s literally unaware the final battle is happening and there’s anything more important she could be doing.
* Karkat, the secondary protagonist of the comic, does nothing of importance for the whole of Act 6 and sits the final battle out after his Dream Self is killed as a gag
* It is established that Meulin is being mind controlled by her evil boyfriend. No one notices or cares and it’s never mentioned again.
* It is established that her evil boyfriend is working for Lord English and forcing her to do the same.
No one notices or cares and it’s never mentioned again.
* Damara is also working for Lord English and no one cares.
* This means that three out of twenty-four members of the ghost army is secretly working for Lord English. Luckily, they all forget to do anything to help him. Or maybe they don’t and actually do turn on the army. I don’t know what happened because it happened offscreen.
* The Ghost army even still exists without Vriska and Aranea mind-controlling it. Everyone just decided “whatever” and stuck around
* It is established that Mituna has brain damage because he had to push his powers past his limits in a Mysterious Event for everything to succeed. Fans theorize he sent his Prospit flying off so it could land in the final session and provide Quest Beds to everyone who still needed one. The actual answer is that it’s never mentioned again.
* John has a tearful reuninon with Jane’s dad, who he’s never actually met before
* Speaking of which, Jane’s dad exists in a timeline where his biological mother wasn’t around until he was an adult. This is never addressed or explained.
* Aradia’s whole character in Act 6 is that she is a dispassionate observer who kind of wants to see reality be destroyed just for the spectacle of it but whose primary desire is to just not die again and thus she’s sitting the plot out. She then leads the charge against a god-killing monstrosity. Makes sense!
* A few pages before the final battle, Dave comments that the kids have never even met Lord English and have no real reason to oppose him. They’re never given one, except the post-credits explanation of “John was bored”
* The comic begins updating on Snapchat. The Carapacians kidnap Jane and hold her prisoner on the moon or something but no one cares about the snapchat comcis so it just kind of stops.
That’s really the fitting end for Homestuck, isn’t it? Canceled mid-storyline because no one cared enough to install SnapChat, yet still trucking nonetheless.
My favorite is nepeta never having a strong purpose, other then the fact that she had a crush on karkat. Hussie then throwing us hints about her confronting this with her ancestors connection with the signless, her cut scene with jasper hinting that she was to come back to life to address this, and never fucking following through with jack shit THE TWO TIMES SHE HAD BEEN REANINATED.
Don’t forget:
Cronus was prophesied to be important against Lord English, which never happened
John was prophesied to die heroically, which afaik never happened
Gamzee’s character had a fuckton of unresolved questions
this whole damn webcomic it’s like she’s being punished for wanting to be with her friends. she didn’t even get to be with her grandpa that long before he got murdered [which she though was suicide, and being a kid, jade thought it was her fault].
she was finally about to meet dream-john after waiting her whole life? prospit destroyed and she died saving him before he woke up. her dream-self apparently gets to be with a group of friends in the afterlife? nope too bad she’s revived as jadesprite and COMPLETELY distraught at being back ‘in the game’ saying she wants to go back and be with her friends. she then loses her only irl friend, becquerel, from the prototyping.
finally meets dave? ends up accidentally killing him almost immediately and feels incredibly guilty about it. about to get a genuinely nice thank you from karkat and have him tell her how amazing she is? she fucking dies again before she can hear it.
then act 6 happens and we see… almost nothing about jade. apparently she had a train-wreck of a relationship with davesprite for a few months off-screen. and then the A6I3 games happen and LOOK we get to see all our favorites! oh WAIT, jade’s not there! in fact, we don’t even have a talksprite for jade!
then they finally arrive in the new session and she gets to meet everyon- no wait, nevermind! GRIMBARK! then she is forced to be horrible to them and dies. new timeline happens on the condition that JADE takes on all of their suffering [like she hasn’t suffered enough already]. typheus was vague about that at first but once john got to the new session we saw that the “one closest to him” that was to suffer was his sister.
so now we have this new timeline, [s] cascade happens, yay jade gets to see john and davesprite!! who quickly die in the explosion of lowas, THAT JADE THOUGHT SHE WAS RESPONSIBLE FOR. she didn’t know that typheus destroyed the planet. she was the one who shrunk them down and had control over the planets. she thought it was a horrible accident and she would have felt solely responsible for it.
so now she has 3 years travelling alone in a void [which is known for having mostly empty dream bubbles, which means not even many interactions with ghosts] and only lizards and a couple sprites [who she has had no former association with] to keep her company. she gets depressed and can’t even tend to her plants anymore. gardenGnostic can’t even bring herself to garden.
3 years of isolation and depression and she arrives in the new session, and gets immediately taken over by condy again, and just as quickly she’s knocked unconscious. and she gets to meet some new people so maybe things are looking better for her? maybe she’s finally going to get to spend time with her friends and get some dialogue-heavy heart-to-heart convos with them, you know, like everyone else is getting?
or not….
ok well at least after the battle and endgame stuff she’ll have to wake up, and maybe we’ll get some dialogue then right? and she’ll do something epic in the fight when she wakes up, it’ll work out and she has a good chance at EVENTUALLY being happy right?
OR NOT…
jade has never intentionally done anything to hurt anyone. and yet she seems to be eternally punished and used by paradox space. her only purpose at this point seems to be being treated like a tool because she’s so overpowered. she just exists to be a powerful chess piece whose sole purpose is to take on the suffering of a doomed timeline. she’s not allowed to be a person or have her own life. she’s just getting dragged along by fate and losing more and more pieces of herself along the way.
this is the most unfair thing in this whole comic in my opinion. and honestly, with everything that has happened and CONTINUES to happen to jade, i can see why jadesprite would rather be dead than play this game.
Guys??? The person who made the original “How Far We’ve Come” Homestuck music video made an updated version with shots from Collide and Act 7 and it’s fuckign beautiful and I can’t believe I’ve never seen it before and I might be crygin a littelfbdg
folks who like to argue with gay people when we say “this character is gay/a lesbian” by saying “NO, theyre BI, here is an itemized list of every interaction theyve ever had with the opposite sex, you are committing BI ERASURE” are hilariously pathetic but the MOST pathetic are the people who think vriska is bi because she had a crush on nicolas cage
between john’s appreciation of nic cage in his dogged “heterosexual” way, vriska’s fake crush on john, and both of them using nicolas cage as a human figure they use to assert their heterosexuality by reacting to his traditionally masculine roles by respecting and mimicking him (john) and feeling swooned by him (vriska) it’s safe to say they’re both gay and their respective relationships with human actor nic cage are manifestations of their performative straightness
vriska actually wants to be a big strong hero and john thinks nic cage is fucking sexy. both do everything in their power to deny their truth up to and including dating each other for 12 minutes. they’re both gay
recently (and by recently i mean, since act 7 – if it was around before then i didnt see it) some hs bloggers, namely lesbian hs bloggers, have been presenting a lesbian reading of vriska that is pretty convincing imo. @revolutionarygays has written about it at length and unfortunately i cant… currently find any of her posts on the topic for u but im sure if u asked she would elaborate ;0
basically to my eyes, vriskas childhood and history of interactions with boys is very sympathetic and relatable to a lot of lesbian readers… she spends her whole childhood trying to aspire to mindfang, this high-femme fatale ideal who, in accordance with troll social norms, had both male and female sexual conquests and populated her quadrants the way a healthy, “normal” troll adult would be expected to, but her most important relationships (or the ones she devotes the most space in her journals to) are with men. so vriska tries to follow in her footsteps – she pursues a black romance with eridan (to mirror her ancestors kismessitude w dualscar) and red with tavros (ditto for the summoner) – but its very quickly made PAINFULLY clear that she doesnt have any actual investment in either of these relationships
eridan is introduced complaining about vriskas lack of commitment or interest in their kismessitude, and when vriska actually gets her hands on tavros, shes massively disappointed in the experience. its a hallmark adolescent gay experience of “maybe ill start being interested in the other gender when i date/kiss/have sex with them” and the ensuing disappointment when you find none of the joy or contentment in doing Straight Things, as heteronormativity had told you you would. hell, she only started interacting with john because terezi did it first – look how quick she is to bring her up in their first conversation!
on the other hand, vriska has a turbulent and passionate relationship with basically every girl she interacts with. she has a fucking emotional breakdown when faced with the reality that the once bright, cheerful aradia is now a lifeless shadow of her former self, and specifically that shes that way because vriskas the one who killed her (and that she was manipulated into doing so by scratch). kanaya, vriskas former moirail, punches her in the face and vriska immediately starts waxing red for her. (and that relationship was pretty frantic for a moiraillegiance in the first place – look how many 8s vriskas dropping near the end there.) … and i dont even have to address her relationship with terezi, because theyre obsessed with each other.
tl;dr vriskas struggle with gender norms, compulsory attraction to men (dont want to say compulsory heterosexuality because trolls dont have that, and compulsory bisexuality sounds stupid), and inability to pinpoint her feelings for girls as “romantic” is relatable to lesbian readers. she is lesbian-coded if nothing else.
this is SUCH a good post – i have to call it a night but i will definitely elaborate on this VERY soon!!
i think vriska’s very tomboyish and messy presentation (she.. appears to wear makeup? maybe? but to this day i don’t understand if it’s a stylistic choice or actual proof that she puts on makeup every day) also further her being gay-coded… vriska is very easily the most tomboyish and aggressive girl in homestuck, and her complete disenchantment with every boy she’s ever attempted to court is a huge part of her character.
it’s worth noting too that the only characters who can pull genuine softness and affection out of vriska are girls. she was absolutely smitten with meenah, very introspective and chatty and inquiring and just generally very devoted to her. she actually went out of her way to sincerely tell kanaya she appreciated her before she disappeared. she was very good, honest, and supportive of terezi in a way that made terezi genuinely feel better. vriska was the only person terezi opened up to – dave and karkat tried so hard to push terezi to open up to them but she was closed off and vague. but with vriska? she spills her feelings honestly and unprompted because she respects and admires vriska, and wants their relationship to be built on trust and honesty
vriska’s a miserable asshole 99% of the time but the only real emotion we’ve seen from her is either through introspection or connected to her relationships with the girls around her – never the boys.
just moving along like everyone else 