look it’s a well known matter of fact that each and every single boy in homestuck is a weenie baby when it comes down to it
open your eyes people! they’re all weenies! your fave could never and i know it hurts but you just need to accept and understand that they absolutely have not and never will match even a fourth of the tenacity literally any other homestuck girl has in their right pinkies alone
“Not even Dirk?” is what I’d ask if I didn’t know better.
dirk “im going to dissipate into a cloud of pixels due to my sheer manpain” strider is one of the biggest weenies of them all
Sollux is the closest. Literally kills himself twice to save everyone. I don’t know if fucking off into eternity after that counts as weenieing up, but every guy is at least second best to this weenie-ass nerd.
You know, I really truly hate that you’re right.
i fuckin love it thanks solluxisms’ bae
im reading a bnha fic and the author used the word “abscond”. theyre a Homestuck ™
The documentary is a good hour or so along. We’ve already covered the inception of the comic and the fandom’s early days. I am sitting on a red leather armchair, holding a half-full glass of wine and looking thoughtfully at a pipe. I appear already mildly tipsy.
When I start to take a sip of the wine I just make a face and spit it back out into a potted plant, which makes you wonder whether I’m actually tipsy or if this is just my natural demeanor.
“Bad vintage,” I say. “Bouquet. Palate. Where were we? Oh, right. So, all of that, that’s why whenever I make a lyricstuck for a new fandom–hm?”
A muffled voice off-screen gently questions whether it’s still a lyricstuck if it’s not a Homestuck fandom product. I scoff gently. Take another sip of wine and immediately abort the activity in the same manner as before.
“Well, there’s a lot of debate about that. I personally think the term transcends fandom–we made it, after all! We built this medium!”
A montage of classic lyricstucks scrolls across the screen, each longer than the last.
“Oh, we weren’t the first to put pictures with music, but we were the first to stretch your Tumblr dash to inconceivable lengths in the pursuit of that combination! Back in the days when Read Mores were a sin, even on 76 panels of murderstuck set to My Songs Know What You Did In the Dark (Light Em Up) by Fall Out Boy.”
I pause and sigh. “Of all the options, I had to pick the one with a title almost as long as the song.”
Another pause. The background music swells gently. I turn to sit sideways in the armchair, but there isn’t room for my feet so I stop and turn back to the front, spilling the rest of my wine on myself in the process. I don’t appear to notice.
“But…you know, for all the weird shit you could say about lyricstucks or the fandom as a whole, no one could make crazy big art projects like we could.” I stare wistfully into the distance, shaking my head a little.
THIS IS THE SHIT I’M TALKING ABOUT??? WHY AM I BEING TAUGHT CONVOLUTED, UNCOMFORTABLY NSFW FIC WORLDBUILDING IN A CLASS
I wonder if drones would be unparasitized trolls, then. Un-altered. SOME probably squeak through, resistant, from the Mother Grub’s overtaxed, infected reproductive equipment, ready to serve the Hive. Meanwhile the Mother Grub would be endlessly producing, under parasitic influence, weaker or “worker” susceptible grubs, as vessels for the parasites. Visible troll “genetic lineages,” such as they are, would be parasite-based on an unchanging “troll” template–the carried parasites are selected for and against as normal while out and about in their ornery host, and then loop back in again thru the slurry fed to the Mother Grub to combine out and express new variations and traits (psionics, sun resistance, blood color, body conformation, temperament). Maybe that’s why, like some fungi, it’s important for two trolls to combine their slurries before transport–an obligate 2N intermediate stage for the parasites.
ANYWAY I also like this because it makes troll slurry really, really, really gross. I guess human spooge is already kind of gross since there’s living wiggling cells with flailing tails in it but our sperm are pretty tame compared to “MULTICELLULAR PARASITIC ORGANISMS MIND-CONTROLLING YR TROLL BF/GF TO BE STARFARING AND SOCIAL, ALSO THEY HAVE MINISCULE YET UNSETTLINGLY STABBY GENETIC-MATERIAL-INJECTION APPENDAGES AND IN ALL LIKELIHOOD GO FOR YOUR PORES.”
YES. And this can get even squickier combined with the troll-bulge headcanon?
THE PARASITIC IMPERATIVE ALSO EXPLAINS WHY THEIR EJACULATE IS SO COPIOUS ssssssince all the infectious organisms/parasites I know about so far basically go hard on the R-strategy
I feel like all of this is going to get even more horrifying somehow when you consider their reliance on biotech.
And how does this interact with the rainbow drinker fungal headcanon?
Trolls being extremely sought-after hosts by a bewildering variety of Alternian parasites!!! (Ties into Alternia just being really frigging dangerous for Trolls in general!)
OH GOSH! And another thing about this that just occurred to me: this headcanon can easily makes human-troll hybrid babies possible, though again; kinda squickily 😐 I’m not really a fan of human-troll hybrid headcanon’s personally, but it’s occurred to me now and I just can’t not share the possibilities u_u
I love him because out of all the iterations of Jack Noir in the world of Homestuck, Spades Slick is the most morally upstanding. Oh, he’s still a huge fucking murderer and a caustic asshat with no regard for life or really any social skills to speak of, who thinks himself the center of the universe and won’t hesitate to get rid of anyone who gets in his way… But he’s the only Jack who ever showed empathy for another person of his own volition.
Bec Noir’s love of Jade is artificial, forced onto him from the prototyping. Union Jack doesn’t have any agency of his own at all for the majority of the time. Spades Slick goes out of his way to do this.
I’ve always believed that the strongest way to convey a scene is not through self-explanatory or long winded dialogue, nor is it through looking at still establishing shots of things that aren’t moving. It’s having the context of a scene inform the meaning behind the actions taken by the characters.
To break that down a little more, it’s about A Person the Audience Knows who Does Something with Another Person We Know that Changes Something Between Them Forever
Spades Slick is a character we know to be crass, evil, mean, angry all the time, the kind of person who calls people he doesn’t like “coffin stuffers” and feels no remorse in killing them. Karkat we know is an asshole who’s full of himself and judgmental of everyone around him.
In this scene, we learned that Karkat has been hiding something about himself that he cannot change, but that fills him with shame and makes him feel like an enormous weirdo. He overcompensates for this enormous insecurity by being a pompous asshole. When Spades Slick initially meets him, he stabs Karkat in the gut, and Karkat doesn’t even care about the wound, he just worries that this chess guy is going to tattle on him and reveal his secret that he’s been tightly guarding for all his life.
Instead, Spades Slick decides to cut open the palm of his hand and let Karkat know that he’s in the exact same boat. We never see another Jack Noir willingly, and with sound mind, comfort a child ever again. This is the only time. And that has just colored my perception of Spades Slick forever, because while he is an enormous dickwheel, he’s also the only Noir who naturally has a soft side.
I’ve commented on this before and I know exactly why it is, but it’s still kind of hilarious that out of all the things that Vriska did (murders and mind control and lying and betrayal and hubris and really stupid decisions and general assholery and narrative hijacking), what bothers me the most are the things she did to Tavros – except for killing him, which is the one part she actually felt bad about but also the… cleanest thing she ever did to him.
The absolute healthiest that Vriska’s feelings towards Tavros got in canon was “angry, so I’ll kill him. *kills him* haha I win”.
its been years so i might be misremembering but wasn’t it also in self defence, like she was about to get lanced for murders she (for once) didn’t do
He was trying to kill her, but that was part of the reason she was angry, I think, rather than something she considered a credible threat.
…Also I think it wasn’t because of the murders, I think Tavros was first of those – I think he was nominally trying to kill her because she admitted she’d helped engineer the creation of Bec Noir?
that was it, exactly, and Tavros was not remotely a threat to her at the time (her being god tier and him being barely able to walk down a flight of stairs)
She was annoyed that of all times he had to pick that moment to grow a spine, when it was the least useful to anyone.
eeeh, see, the thing is it wasn’t useful because her deeds were done, but it was the right thing to do as far as he was concerned.
she actually set out to cause the horrible situation they were stuck in, and not only proudly confessed to it, but also stated her intent to go face Bec Noir alone (which as we know would only result in a total party kill). At that point it wasn’t about him or what he could do, or whether it would solve their current problem; she had to be stopped because she had to be stopped, and she would only stop once dead (as far as he was aware).
vriska was pissed because he didn’t take a stand on her terms, or didn’t choose to develop a spine and fight the enemies she picked for him to fight, on her terms. She didn’t contrive this scenario for him to show his “courage”; she didn’t control the situation at all. Simply, when she was about something else, he decided to fight her, and it wasn’t for her or about her. It was for himself.
that’s why she killed him. and that’s why she was unhappy and confused about it afterwards.
I can’t even be mad at her about any of the Bec Noir stuff, it’s just so. Completely divorced from reality.
–Although it is VERY interesting to me that she gives the same “I encouraged it to happen, but it would have happened anyway, so no fault attaches to me” excuse that Doc Scratch gave to her.
yall scrambling to find all the homestuck colors now that we have colored text here, you mean you dont have one of these bad boys saved in the depths of your homestuck tag??
credit to @autonomousprince bet you thought this was buried forever
just moving along like everyone else 