ooh and corsica.hockey is amazing for advanced stats. it has skater, goalie, team, game, and line combo stats which it then lets you filter by like a dozen different things. also their player similarity calculator is a lot of fun!
own the puck’s HERO charts are a great way to compare two players (though they appear to be down at the moment 😦 )
– the merciless yet weirdly affectionate dragging of tuukka rask
– every single photo of tyler seguin
– comparisons between jamie benn and long-lashed farm animals
– accurately subtitled gifsets that look like they’re from pre-porn actor interviews when taken out of context because hockey really is Like That
– hockey players ft. children and/or dogs
– every single story about jaromir jagr, actual living memelord
– OCTOPUS SEASON
– CATFISH
– Official Avs Tumblr Thirst ™ for gabriel landeskog
– lovingly rendered hd slow-mo gifsets of fights
– important Ass Science
– instagram reposts where someone who knows all the players’ semi-secret personal accounts has gone through the comments to add on annotated banter screenshots
– every single callback to That Time Wilso And Latts Were Proud About Their Bargain Tomato Sauce Purchase
– the wonderful sense of community that comes from inhabiting the same trashpile
aries: you can’t do that!
taurus: that one time pk subban tried to kiss carey price straight on the lips in front of a worldwide audience
gemini: i drink coffee before the game so i can fart in the crease
cancer: gucci purse
leo: what is violence, anyway?
virgo: i’d have my cock out if i scored four goals. i’d have my cock out, stroking it
libra: what are you the bottle police?
scorpio: i just wanted to say what a piece of shit i think lucic is
sagittarius: it was not an equipment problem, so let’s just leave it at that
capricorn: i don’t like any guy on their team
aquarius: if mike richards thinks we’re getting away with murder, i don’t know what he just got away with. mass murder? like are we stepping up a notch?
pisces: maybe he’s just jealous, i have hair, he don’t have hair
Goalies may seem cute but underneath their armour they’re mischievous, weirdly calm in stressful situations and willingly put up with pucks flying towards their faces at bone-shattering speeds so I would not willingly get into a fight with one. Terrifying creatures.
i cannot overstate how much i love that one of hockey’s most important traditions is showing the goalie extra love after the game is over by bumping foreheads with them, that is just TOO CUTE
just moving along like everyone else 