In 2018 we refer to donuts as “nut”, examples “hey do you wanna grab a quick nut there’s a new nut shoppe nearby” and “i love a good nut in coffee, i always dunk my nut in the coffee”
i donut think this is a good idea
What’s wrong with it
Idk I could go for some nice nut rn
Please i don’t want to wake up to this
who doesn’t wanna wake up to some nice, fresh nut in the mornin
I sure do want to get my morning started with some fresh nut in my mouth
i sure do want to get my morning started with some fresh nut in my mouth
y’all……. i think just got cursed by a demonic spirit
it’s 8:03pm on the last night before the last day of finals week, right? so life is already hellish enough. im in the library, “writing” a “research” paper that’s due in, mmm, 8 hours
how long ago was the paper assigned, you may ask? irrelevant
i get up from the study room table i’ve conquered with a small graveyard of empty starbucks cups and head to the bathroom for my third (3rd) dance break of the evening. i was so hopeful, so innocent back then, ten minutes ago. i had no way of knowing
my hands reach for the door handle, only for it to jerk back. someone’s pulled the door on the other side – hardly breaking news, i usually just stand back and let them pass. the girl doesn’t look like the Antichrist; she looks like another beleaguered college student, animated solely by caffeine abuse and the pressing fear of finals. and yet. and YET
ohqueso, let’s break this down: door opens. i step to the side and meet the eyes of a startled dirty-blonde college student. i offer a polite smile. she blinks once, twice. makes a face i can only possibly convey as :S. and then. she says.
“Hewwo.”
she brushed past me. walked away. i let the door fall shut, frozen in the grip of the most profound fear i have ever experienced. my brain was a one-track loop of “what the fuck, what the fuuuuuuuuck.”
it’s at least 30 minutes later and i’m still not sure mine’s restarted
long story short, i met Satan at 8pm in a university library during finals week and she was wearing a hoodie and duck boots
I’ve begun unironically greeting people with ‘hewwo’ for a few weeks now and I worry that one day I will be that girl
hi @snuffgrenade we’ve never met and im sure you’re lovely but blocked
hi @snuffgrenade we’ve never met and im sure you’re lovely but blocked
All the people baiting the haikubot disappoint me. A proper haiku should have deep nature feelings, lack of “me” talk, and a seasonal indicator, but even if you’re not a traditionalist with a boner for Basho, y’all fuckers aren’t even trying to split your posts into reasonably nice-sounding lines. Smh
As the leaves fall down, so does the intelligence of online poets.
ill bait haikubot in whatever way i choose by the way its fall
a haiku battle rages between two NaNo bros about a bot
who will win this fight? tune in next time to find out who haikubot picks
YOU FUCKING COWARD HEY GREED-THE-DORKALICIOUS COME FIGHT ME NOW BRO
“deep nature feelings” full offense but that my guy just sounds pretentious
“deep nature feelings” full offense but that my guy just sounds pretentious
^Haiku^bot^0.4. Sometimes I do stupid things (but I have improved with syllables!). Beep-boop!
I didn’t even realize how annoyed I was at the general way women in comedy shows are portrayed until TAZ didn’t do the thing and I realized how amazing it was.
The thing is: when you have a group of funny male characters and one or two women, and the women are always super mature and emotionally together and much too responsible and reasonable to engage in shenanigans. Basically the perpetually annoyed straight man for the jokers to butt up against.
And then TAZ introduced Lup, and immediately she was petty, and smug, and egotistical, and FUCKING HILARIOUS, and it felt like taking a breath of air when I didn’t even realize I’d been underwater. She’s allowed to be every bit as ridiculous and self-obsessed as her brother, and they just trust that we’ll love her the same way we love Taako, faults and all – they never feel like they’re apologizing for putting a girl in with all this silliness, not once! And, like, they joke about a “competent woman” – she is HIGHLY competent! And very moral! And capable of tremendous love and sweetness!
And she ALSO wants her fucking fifteen dollars back, GREG GRIMALDIS.
and she also wants her fucking fifteen dollars back greg grimaldis
^Haiku^bot^0.4. Sometimes I do stupid things (but I have improved with syllables!). Beep-boop!
I just had this hyper-realistic dream and like. I don’t even know what to make of this lmao
I was sitting in this park, on a bench, looking up at the night sky and all the stars and stuff, and I blinked and suddenly the entire sky was different. I’m talking different constellations, the sky absolutely packed with billions more stars, some so close they’re massive. I’m like wtf and suddenly I realise there’s an old man sitting next to me, dressed in like 1940s clothing, also looking up at the sky.
before I can ask him if he’s you know, noticed, he speaks, without looking away from the sky.
“this is what the universe really looks like,” he tells me.
“oh,” I say. a pause. “…can you put it back?”
he smiles and nods. I look up. the sky has gone back to normal.
“what do I do with this information?” I ask, looking at him again.
he turns his head and, smiling, looks me dead in the face. "be careful.“
hey op im pretty sure you mightve just met god or something like that
hey op im pretty sure you mightve just met god or something like that
^Haiku^bot^0.4. Sometimes I do stupid things (but I have improved with syllables!). Beep-boop!
ok so i made the mistake of standing on the beach in the dark and listen…….. listen. there is nothing that cares about you less than the ocean in the dead of night. it is tangible. you can’t fuckin see a thing. there is no horizon. it’s a ceaseless void and she cares for no one and loves nothing. you have to respect her bcs she clearly has no fuckin love for you and if she wanted she could take you and NO ONE WOULD KNOW
i love the ocean, but little scares me.more than the water at night.
i love the ocean but little scares me more than the water at night
^Haiku^bot^0.4. Sometimes I do stupid things (but I have improved with syllables!). Beep-boop!
just moving along like everyone else 