jumpingjacktrash:

dharmagun:

andromedex:

skirriss:

atheistjwteen:

exjwthings:

jackhasdreams:

kremeroyale:

gay-jesus-probably:

ierohero:

depressed kids in the media: I don’t wanna go to therapy! I don’t need help! I’m not some specimen for you to dissect!

me, rollin up to my therapist’s office and collapsing in relief: what is UP my homeboy I fuckin missed you,, hope ur ready to hear some Bull Shit that fuckin happened to me this week

families of depressed kids in media: okay sweetie we’ve researched depression for ten hours straight and signed you up for therapy and re-arranged your school schedule to be less stressful

actual parents of depressed kids: look i get you’re sad but someones gotta do the goddamn dishes stop being lazy get up. why didn’t you go to school today, what’s wrong with you, you’re such a burden on this family.

Therapists in the media: *understanding head tilt*

My real live therapist whom I adore: Natalie, that is the DUMBEST thing I’ve ever heard.

Therapists in Media: Lets do some art therapy and be really quiet while we talk about your feelings :)))))) also I’m prescribing you 500 different medicines

My therapist Brian who I love to death: Jack, I think your first problem is you stay up too late looking at memes, so let’s try taking a nap

My real life therapist: Okay, before we start, I found this hilarious video I know you’d love.

Therapist in media: serious face the whole time

My therapist: *laughs awkwardly*

therapists in media: refined, cultured, poised, “I’m afraid I haven’t [heard of the nerdy thing their patient just referenced]”

my old therapist derek, from across the reception area, seeing me for the first time after the summer of 2015: HEY DID YOU SEE AGE OF ULTRON?? IT SUCKED, RIGHT???

my current therapist ian, in our very first appointment: do you like star wars? anxiety is like the force, it can consume you, or you can learn to keep it in balance
 you’re my padawan now

Actual things my therapist has told me:

“You’re bassicly a glorified sad lizard.” (It makes sense with context)

“Damn girl you need to get your shit together.”

“Go home and cry. Stop drinking in bathtubs. Eat something that isn’t bleach or memes.”

I’ll add more tomorrow after I see her again.

my late lamented 74-year-old-therapist with margaret thatcher hair and eyeglasses on a chain: “so in this dream were you the fuckER or the fuckEE?”

depressed adult men in media: depression is for girls, i’m just brooding and drinking because it’s cool

me in real life: *to the tune of rubber duckie* lexapro pill, you’re the one! you make it possible to have fun!

—

depressed adult men in media, when forced at gunpoint to see a therapist: nothing is wrong, everything is peachy, three seasons of trauma have not given me PTSD because i’m a protagonist, can i go now

me in real life seeing stacy the brain mechanic: 
 help?

—

therapist of adult man in media: good, you expressed a feeling, well done! same time next week ok?

stacy the brain mechanic: dude, you do realize that if anyone else talked about you the way you talk about yourself, you’d kick their ass

slyrsterribleurl:

jadalevels:

meatyogre:

molothoo:

spongebobsquarepants:

dark–lies:

throwbackblr:

Tommy was driving like people drive in Grand theft Auto

Y’all not gonna talk about the jet and Formula 1 car?

You not gonna talk about Tommy almost having a head on collision with a tank?

Y’all gone act like tommy ain’tcut in front of that semi truck making him slam on his brakes causing the other semi to slam into the back of him


how he drive over the top of the plane wing tho? my man got some fuckin AIR

So we just going to ignore the fact that reptar is snatching niggas up on the highway
.

Ain’t nobody fittna say shit bout the sign thats just a fuckin bottle of milk?

All right, I can’t bear this any longer: Could you PLEASE give us some context to those book covers you keep posting? Like what exactly are they, where do they come from, how did the author get those ideas, AND JUST HOW MANY OF THESE THINGS ARE THERE?! They are really weird and disturbing. I love them.

fool-errant:

tinyhipsterboy:

t4millennial:

When I put them in the queue I thought everyone was going to get annoyed because they’ve seen them a million times, I feel terrible that so many of you guys haven’t!

There is this controversy in book industries about e-books; specifically Amazon who has made it easy for someone to self publish whereas before it would cost someone thousands of dollars and so if you did you were a loser because you obviously couldn’t get an agent or even get an indie publisher to back you. All of a sudden a million books are being self published by losers who are ruining literature because anyone can just print anything and nothing matters anymore. It’s the same thing they said when they invented the printing press and then again when trade paperbacks became a thing. 

A whole bunch of people, mostly fanfic writers just repurpose in their work, start publishing these short erotic novels that they haven’t even edited and it was all getting weirder and weirder. 

BDSM became mainstream because of EL James publishing her Twilight fanfiction ‘50 shades of gray’ and then suddenly there were a bunch of books that made people uncomfortable about time traveling to fuck dinosaurs. One erotic novel written by Christie Sims and Alara Branwen kind of became the poster child for the demise intellectualism.

A few years later someone calling themselves Chuck Tingle started to publish tiny erotica novels about people having sex with unicorns and Bigfoot that were intentionally weird with long and had highly specific titles. The covers went viral, most people thinking they were memes but then discovered they were real books that were actual short stories written by somebody who knew how to write and was obviously mocking the controversy.

Everyone was complaining and trying to find out who he was and journalists were trying to contact “him” but he refused to be interviewed. The popular rumor started going around that it was actually a father and son that wrote the books together and someone who everyone is probably sure was actually Chuck Tingle was anonymously interviewed and was like, “lol yeah and we usually write them start to finish in one night” which made people madder and was true because he really blew up when a meme about this dress went viral in a day and by the end of the day

Chuck

Tingle had a new erotic novel about fucking the dress.

Adding to the controversy is the fact that if you publish through Amazon people can read your books for free through their “digital library” but when people check out books it’s technically counted as a sale. Out of nowhere some dude named Chuck Tingle was at the top of the bestsellers list with these offensive books and sort of accidentally got nominated for a really prestigious award and everyone lost their shit.

The powers that be were changing the rules so he couldn’t win, which is what also happened to Neil Gaiman when his comic book Sandman got nominated and everyone was outraged that a comic book could be considered literature. Neil Gaiman actually won the award and then they put in a rule that no more comic books could be nominated, but they got lucky with Chuck Tingle and he didn’t win. Except then he was nominated for a second time.

Obviously Chuck Tingle didn’t win again, 

but then he kind of doubled down and published books about getting fucked by his nomination and then fucked by the concept of getting fucked over by the industry. Then his book started getting really mostly sociopolitical and shoved his award nomination down everyone’s throats..

They were still just short weird erotica, but instead of being tongue-in-cheek funny they became condescendingly critical.

He has a website with an about me page but he’s become a folklore hero and everyone is 99% sure it’s fake.

As he stands now, the industries are still really upset but the indie scenes are considering them high art.

I am among the latter.

Don’t forget, the whole reason people nominated Chuck Tingle for the Hugo awards in the first place is because a lot of white male authors were really mad that women and racial minorities were winning awards. They nominated him, but of course, he wasn’t going to ruin the mystery by revealing himself, so instead he had someone go to the Hugos in his place
 Zoe Quinn, who Gamergate centered around, and who was therefore the poster child of everything this group *hated*.

Chuck Tingle is a goddamn master.

Thank you for addingthat. I was about to be “but it wasn’t an accident he was nominated for a Hugo” 

moodyehudi:

epaulettes:

wildlyannoyingdoofus:

These kinds of responses are my FAVORITE. Some examples to answers to this question I have heard:

1.

“Okay, and who’s the president?”

“Obama, no wait, shit *vehemently* fuck, I hate him
 what’s his name
”

“It’s okay, you know who he is.”

2.

“Who’s the president?”

“*drunkenly angry and confused* ..uhhhhhhh
Orange
 damn it what’s the fuck’s name
.

“Yup, good enough.”

3.

“And who’s the president,”

“Not fuckin’ Obama!”

“I feel ya.”

4.

“Who’s the president- wait, nevermind you’re from Korea you said, right? So who’s-“

“Everybody knows that Trump-bitch.”

“Oh, well, alright then.”

5. (My personal favorite)

“Who’s the president?”

“Ew.”

“Good enough.”

My roommate is a neurologist and has to do this check all the time. Her all-time favorite so far has been “ay dios mio” during which the woman was vigorously crossing herself.

lol me too , lady

wehaveallgotknives:

actualvampireang:

Ok, so there was a scene on the OC where a character got shot and killed and that “mmm whatcha say” song was used in the soundtrack

and then SNL did a parody of the scene because it was ridiculous

and now, years later, we’re all still laughing at the same joke because it’s hilarious.

I HAD NEVER SEEN THE ORIGINAL

I THOUGHT SNL HAD COME UP WITH IT

What if lotor saw those plays and now thinks allura is keith and keith is altean so when they actually meet its gonna be a “who the fuck are you” moment

lctor:

lotor: i want to speak to the black paladin

shiro: that’s me

lotor: so you were the one hunting me down?

hunk: no, that was keith

lotor [to allura]: you are the black paladin?

allura: i am the blue paladin

lotor: then who –

keith: i’m the one you’re looking for

lotor: you’re not even wearing a paladin armour!

keith: that’s because i’m not a paladin

lotor:

image