Derek’s reaction to rooming with Dex is so clearly “fuck yeah! I can spend more time with Will! Maybe we can get closer, and maybe I can get something more out of this 😉” and Dex is all just like “oh my god no I’m too gay for this shit if we’re not sharing a bed we’re not sharing a room”
Haizaki: You know, my dick has a lot in common with the sun.
Aomine: Why? Because nobody likes looking at it directly?
Kise: It gives people cancer?
Kuroko: It’s going to die someday?
Momoi: It rises at the crack of dawn?
Murasakibara: It disappears at night?
Akashi: Direct exposure to it often leads to a nasty case of sunburn?
Midorima: It needs to stay approximately 92,960,000 miles away from me?
Nijimura: Nobody will ever touch it?
Ppl always saying “u need Jesus,” and “find God,” and “go 2 church,” and like, Stephanie Meyer is a fanatical Mormon and if loving the baby Jesus didn’t stop her from writing the c-section-by-tooth-werewolf-attracting-hellbaby, why the fuck you think He’s gonna stop me?
–The opening statement comes right out with the main thesis: “I still think [Eridan’s] character arc is a metaphor for the Obama presidency.” Such an odd assertion phrased in such a direct way is the first of the post’s many unexpected twist and turns. In a way, it’s an excellent thesis statement; it lets the readers know exactly what they can expect from the rest of the text. Notable is the inclusion of the word “still.” Had someone attempted to dissuade this individual from believing this theory? More than one someone?
–The first paragraph starts pretty slowly: the comparison of the guy who does everything in twos to bipartisanship and the claim that
a gay character represents the LGBT community
aren’t too out there when compared with the original assertion that Eridan Ampora symbolizes Barack Obama. Saying a character who wants to care for society’s downtrodden symbolizes social welfare programs is comparatively not much of a stretch either, nor is drawing a parallel between a major villain and the GOP. Then, out of nowhere, like the storm after the calm, like a clown honk followed by a gunshot, appears “Jade (Reagan) ”. Equal parts wham line and establishing character moment for our unknown theorist, the absurd comparison between lovable, open-minded 13-year old girl Jade Harley and Ronald Fucking Reagan, fortieth president of these United States, upends all our expectations, expectations which were pretty out-of-the-ordinary to begin with considering they were set by the comparison of Eridan Ampora to Barack Obama. That the anonymous theorist goes on to explain the reasoning behind this comparison in no way mitigates the shock. "Jade (Reagan)” changes everything. Anything can happen now. There are no rules anymore.
just moving along like everyone else 