friendlytree:

wrywlf:

it’s been years since i’ve first seen this comic and i still think it has one of the best punchline delivers of anything i’ve ever seen

eternal classic

sffsdragon:

Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit + Aesthetic Generator.

ohshititsmama:

punkfaery:

punkfaery:

punkfaery:

going through my microsoft word archives is great fun because i always find the wildest shit in there and by “the wildest shit” i mean the time i tried to rewrite the entire bible from scratch at the age of eleven and a half

“And so Adam and Eve were cast out of the Garden of Eden, and Eve turned to Adam and said, ‘Nice going, loser.‘”

iconic

whilst you were listening to avril lavigne, i learned the way of the Lord

I probably would have been more interested in the bible if it read like this

jumpingjacktrash:

scabrrielle:

winemom-culture:

bubblemaths:

reblog for easter

forget april fools day its almost time for the best video on this entire fuckin planet

sunglasses. no sun. it’s cloudy: overcast.

our commentator’s voice is so soothing tho

itooru:

no similes, we die

orestian:

sailershanty:

kirby-ebooks:

sailershanty:

gryffinewt:

sailershanty:

gryffinewt:

kirby-ebooks:

hey just a reminder that math and language are both 1. fake as hell, and 2. the only true and beautiful things in this world

art also you fucking nerd

Math and language are art you damn pedestrian

i mean painting and scultpures of cheese you dumb novice

You fool, you moron, physical things are as much an illusion as anything else, only theory is your map in a senseless universe

i’m confused about whether the argument is that cheese art is fake or that it is beautiful

Hey can anyone translate what i said like five minutes ago that was my shadow self

we’re having a rationalism versus empiricism pit fight about whether or not blocks of cheese are qualia

stores to cry in, rated

edgebug:

wal-mart: pedestrian, boring, you can do better. 2/10

target: a slightly better crying experience than wal-mart. the scent is strangely comforting, the lights however are too bright and make for a slightly unpleasant cry. there is however oftentimes a starbucks and a mini pizza hut inside for you to drown your sorrows in. 6/10, points for optimal post-cry atmosphere

an apple store: absolutely not. people cry in the apple store all the time because they cant afford the latest rose gold bullshit apple’s put out. overdone and cliche. 1/10

publix: points lost for the sterile and inhospitable environment but if you cry in a publix a gator WILL smell your tears and come to eat you. being eaten by a gator is in fact slightly preferable to crying in a publix. 6/10 for the gator

whole foods: an excellent place for a cry, people will probably assume that you are a wealthy emotional person who cant decide between quinoa or couscous and are having a real problem with it. 8.5/10

nordstrom: plenty of chairs for collapsing into especially in the shoe department but you WILL be accosted by salespeople. they work on commission and are hungry for your money. 7/10 for style

ikea: OPTIMAL crying destination, can climb into a bed and have a total mental breakdown and nobody will ever be the wiser, the employees WILL NOT bother you under any circumstances, comfortable and accessible, 10/10

hot topic: no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 0/10

Whiskey: Babe come over
Tango: I’m helping Dex fix the washing machine
Whiskey: My roommates aren’t home
Tango: Don’t worry! I’m sure they’ll come back

jumpingjacktrash:

rapidashpatronus:

vrabia:

i may despise galen erso from the bottom of my shriveled maggoty heart but i have to tell you guys how he managed to sneak in the death star weak spot according to the rogue one novelization because it’s hilarious. if you’re expecting some feat of engineering genius so subtle no one noticed it, you are wrong. galen got krennic to sign off on it himself.

he annoyed the fuck out of krennic by cc-ing him in like a million emails to death star r&d.

so i know we’re behind schedule here but we found this structural flaw and wanted to let you guys know about it, says galen.

and r&d is like okay so how do we fix it?

and galen is like well we could start over?

and r&d is like no that’ll take too long.

and galen promises to think about it and writes to them later all hey how about we make some additional investments and get better materials?

and r&d is like no that’s too expensive.

and galen is like weeeell….

and r&d is like well what?

and galen goes well there’s something we can do but you’re not gonna like it.

and r&d is like okay what is it.

and galen is like are you sure you want to hear it?

yes, goes r&d.

like, really really super sure?

yes, goes r&d.

okay so the problem is radiation buildup, says galen. have i mentioned the problem is radiation buildup?

30 emails ago, r&d says.

right, so. says galen. we could build this exhaust port but it’s not going to get rid of all the radiation all the time, so if you’re having some stormtroopers around they might be exposed to it. i can look into some other options to reduce–

at which point krennic, who’s been cc’d in all of this, goes JUST PUT THE FUCKING EXHAUST PORT IN AND GET IT OVER WITH FUCK THOSE STORMTROOPERS ALL THESE EMAIL NOTIFICATIONS ARE DRIVING ME NUTS

and galen is like okay 🙂

This, THIS is EXACTLY why I felt the need to tweet Alexander Freed and let him know why the novelisation was so important to me, because this is a man who understands the absolute mind-numbing tedium of project management by committee.

Star Wars is and always has been about human nature, and sure, we chuck in some lasers and spaceships for funsies, but it’s about politics and human behaviour, and if you can make one of the the biggest plot holes in sci-fi history turn into a completely logical and rational event just because you understand that big decisions get made precisely because “I AM TOO TIRED TO BOTHER WITH THIS ANY MORE” then you are an absolute immortal genius, to my mind.

idk why you despise galen erso, going deep cover for 20 years to make sure the superweapon has a ‘splode here’ button is pretty boss