I’m on medication that can make me spacey af, which can be a problem when I’m driving–like yesterday, for example, when my best friend was trying to help me avoid a pothole
he said “to the left,” and I just mumbled “take it back now y’all” and hit the pothole straight on
top check, please comedic moments in no particular order:
•sriracha cupboard
•"JACK LAURENT ZIMMERMANN DO NOT BLASPHEME"
•"pies just…appear" “we’ve only been here five minutes”
•lardo’s boob art
•"e-SPECIALLY secretary of state"
•ugly baby jack
•roach vs attic discourse
•no pie in hazing
•look at him, sitting on that nhl bench like a pro
•jack catching rans/holtz staring at his ass
•fry guy
and of course, my personal favorite
•"MEN.“
feel free to continue this list
THAT’S SOME SICK FLOW
The random girl that pukes up a fountain during the first Hockey Shit w/ Rans and Holtzy
“Bitch-ass naked and shit-faced”
Bitty’s faces when he imitates that rival hockey player
Bitty getting rid of all the beer in the fridge and restocking it with butter; lots of it
The running gag about baby!Jack looking like an old turnip
Baby!Jack pooping in the Stanley Cup 3x
The lost and found with pinned up thongs, bras, and a sock filled with jizz
🔸"You were in town, Zimmermann- DWEEB town! “
🔸"We’re late for our south campus pottery studio tour”
🔸 Beer in basement cooler. ❤ ERB “So totally ultra not cool”
🔸"Cock-a-doodle-mother-fucking-doo! Rise and shine and get out my haus!“
🔸"I went expecting it to be weird– it was. ”
🔸"Yeah, but that’s like, the really nice trash can.“
“was that a theme song?”
“And I brought y’all G O O D I E B A G S”
regarding the roach vs attic discourse: “ET TU, LARDO?”
“Bitty likes girls who can bake.” “You guys are idiots.”
Tango asking Chowder what his favorite team is while standing in a room full of Sharks merch
“But actually there’s a youth hockey tournament today so we have to get out of here by 7.”
“I pooed the bus!!”
the fact that tango was being sarcastic about who chowder’s favorite team was but c took him seriously
Look, this is my litmus test: I pretend I am the original Earl of Sandwich. I have asked for non-bread foods to be brought to me inside bread, that I might more easily consume them one-handed while gambling.
This does not enable my wretched regency habits. This is not what I asked for. I do not deign to grace it with the name of my house.
Ok but what if for Halloween Dex wears a bad blond wig and glasses and Nursey wears a white snapback and salmon shorts
OK but the best thing about that is that Ransom and Holster CANNOT figure out who they are in costume as, and it just gets funnier as the night goes on because they keep guessing wrong.
Okay but then as they get more drunk they start hyperbolically acting out scenes from Ransom and Holsters life and they keep getting more and more touchy feely and ridiculous as the night goes on.
Dex: Bro…Share a beer with me bro…
Nursey: Bro…I’m going to fucking cherish that beer with you bro..
Dex: I just..I need you to know that this is such a special fucking moment for me man…
Nursey: Bro…
Holster: Bro…Are they like….a Meme…or something?
Ransom: I don’t know man…Hey share a beer with me bro?
I like to think Jack learns some hockey things from Bitty, not just the other way around.
For instance, fighting:
So Jack’s big and strong and plays hockey and you’d expect him to be the type of guy to come off the ice with a bleeding face and bruised knuckles. And maybe he would have been, but for Bitty
Instead when the big angry opposition player starts going after Bad Bob’s “special snowflake” son he channels one of his boyfriend’s talents and just ducks
And the player’s like ??? and tries again but Jack is fast and apparently gifted at dodging punches and the guy’s getting more and more frustrated bc he really wants to punch Jack but it’s just. not. working.
The Falconers have stopped fighting due to being doubled over with laughter and the other team is too busy being confused because ?? he’s dodging??? that’s not how hockey works????
In the end the guy gives up because every time he throws a punch Jack takes to just skating backwards slightly so he’s out of reach again. It makes all the sports highlights for a fortnight. People set it to music
just moving along like everyone else 