trickerydickerydock:

So we know how two of the favorite superhero peril tropes are A) Threaten a Loved One and B) Villain unwittingly taking the in-civvies Hero as a hostage. Venom and Eddie’s situation presents an opportunity for a special hybrid of both.

Because honestly, both Venom and Eddie have all the subtlety of a firework stand in a bonfire and X Evil Organization is bound to tail the burly man-eating monster to Eddie’s home and

Goons, breaking down the door: Alright Brock, no more games

Eddie: What

Goons: Don’t play dumb here, Eddie. We know the truth and our employer is determined to have a long, violent chat with the bastard eating all of his men. So we’ll make this simple for you:

Goons: Where is your 10 ft tall cannibal boyfriend?

Eddie: 

Venom, inside Eddie: Eddie. Eddie, tell them where he is

Eddie, going thru every stage of grief and inventing new ones: ………………..um

Venom, all up in Eddie’s everything, every slime cell of him laughing to tears: Tell them where your boyfriend is, Eddie 

dinkywinks:

dinkywinks:

i just cant get over the lobster scene. like his friends are actively begging him, do not get into the lobster tank. please eddie. tom hardy you were in mad max fury road dont do this. and tom hardy looks at his friend like “i know i shouldnt do this. i shouldnt be getting into this lobster tank but i’m going to anyway. i’m already mostly inside. cant stop now. i’m sorry i dont want to be doing this either there’s just no other choice for me.” and then he takes a bg bite out of a live lobster that’s still in the shell and everything. 

tom hardy doesn’t actually know he’s being possessed by an alien yet in the story. he’s just resigned himself to whatever fucking meltdown he seems to be having. he doesn’t even seem particularly surprised that things have gone this way for him. like ten minutes later he finds out his heart stopped working and hes just like “you asshole” and he throws his alien parasite against the wall like a water balloon. and then he just leaves and is immediately kidnapped. what a fucking wild ride tom hardy is on. 

tom hardy’s actual superpower is being the exact same level of dysfunctional no matter what is happening in his life. so when everything’s going ok for him he self-destructs spectacularly, but when literally everything that can happen to a human being happens to him, he does, like, unrealistically well. climbing into a lobster tank and eating a live animal with large claws just like… “well, this is what’s happening to me today. i’m so sorry you have to watch this, man. anyway here goes, i’m going to bite into a living creature with my human mouth and then LOSE CONSCIOUSNESS”

this movie’s fucking killing me from the inside.

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IT WASNT EVEN IN THE SCRIPT TOM HARDY IS JUST A FUCKING GENUINE MADMAN