Everyone pays pie taxes, except for tango. Why? That’s a mystery. Everyone has to wash dishes, go grocery shopping, lower thing from the top shelf and even compulsory participate in Beyonce jams as taxes. Except for tango.
The mystery prevails until careful observation in the bitty-tango relationship sheds new lights to the investigation. In order to write essays, bitty who suffers from severe procrastination, just tells tango a few details about what his essay is on, and then answers all subsequent questions. He records himself, and then just copies down what he has said and hands it down as an essay. The tango-prompt method has result in a sharp increase in Bitty’s work quality, and thus tango gets rewarded with being exempt from pie taxes.
he has such a pure laugh omg. like i know we talk about how bitty’s laugh is the epitome of sunshine etc but dex my god. it’s not even that pretty to listen to, not like bitty’s tinkly laugh or jack’s really lovely chuckles. dex’s laugh is loud and everywhere and always shocks everyone because u know that boy has different laughs, like fake ones that he uses a lot. so when the team get to hear dex’s real laugh it’s amazing
and when dex laughs you can’t help but do the same because you’d do anything to keep hearing his real laugh
it takes a little while to get used to samwell. it’s slow. chris misses home, the beaches, the sun, his mothers homemade chinese food. there’s no homemade chinese food at samwell.
usually, nursey and dex can tell when he’s homesick. they do things like send him a string of emoji hearts, or bring him coffee from annie’s, or just sit with him, watching netflix or hockey.
once, bitty made char siu for chris. it was nothing like his mother’s, but chris ate it anyway. when nursey found him crying in his room after dinner, he slid into bed with chris and listened to chris tell him about all the food his mom cooked, and how the flavors felt more like home than any place chris had ever been.
the next morning, chris found a piece of notebook paper folded up in one of his sneakers. it was a poem about the taste of missing home. chris taped it on the wall next to his bed.
he is homesick, and that never goes away. missing home is second nature, but eventually it begins to fade.
not because he misses it less, but because he’s found a second home. here, at samwell, with ransom and holster shouting over each other, and shitty’s hugs and sloppy kisses, jack’s quiet words of encouragement, bitty always making sure that chris is okay.
lardo lets chris sit with her while she’s painting, and chris doesn’t know how to describe the way it feels to watch a work of art bloom onto a blank canvas, the way it feels to have a sanctuary, but it’s good. nursey writes more poems, and they talk about what it’s like to feel distant from the cultures they were raised on. dex tells him about his own family, manages to keep chris laughing with stories of his sisters when the two of them start to feel sad again.
he meets caitlyn farmer. she’s fierce and funny and understands chris in a way that makes him breathless. he fits into her life like there was a place created just for him. they talk, and they dream, and she makes him smile even when he thinks he can’t.
chris starts a new set of roots, across the country, for his second family. it’s not like california, of course. it’s different, but it begins to feel like home just the same.
the goose has a broken wing and can’t fly south for the winter so dex builds it a shed with an infrared heater and a kiddie pool pond and names it stephanie (the goose not the pond)
bitty: dex, jack and i are dating dex: CAN’T TALK HAVE A GOOSE bitty: dex plz dex: WE’RE GONNA HAVE EGGS FOR DAYS BITTY. EGGS. FOR. DAYS.
chowder: dex. where did you get a goose dex: WHO WANTS QUICHE nursey: it’s pronounced quickie*
au where i am the author of check please and there are 300% more gooses
Bitty comes out to his parents but he doesn’t tell them about Jack, thinks it’s for the best, maybe to ease his parents into things or maybe to keep the pool of People Who Know as small as possible
and like yeah Ransom and Holster are super oblivious but Suzanne Bittle is not, not when it comes to her son, because she is a certified Nosy Southern Mother and she can see he’s been acting differently, happier but quieter, always on his phone and blushing when she asks about boys
and he talks about the team a LOT
Jack’s one of his best friends and he’s just started his NHL career, so of course Bitty’s never gonna shut up about Jack
(Same goes for Shitty and law school. And eventually Ransom and med school. Dicky is proud of his friends and wants everyone to know. He gets that trait from Suzanne, she understands)
but he keeps talking about this one Boy, how sweet he is and how his smile is like a sack of puppies and how bitty’s always making this boy do things with him like baking and getting froyo and going shopping and Suzanne is like. Yes. This must be Dicky’s secret boyfriend.
the next family weekend or whatever, Suzanne demands to meet this Chowder boy who’s stolen Bitty’s heart
just moving along like everyone else 