Tag: brain stuff

What do people do with all that time? I mean, people other than me. They must do something. All those nights and weekends for years and years. I can’t even imagine what I’m going to do with all that time. Don’t people get awfully tired after a while? I mean, won’t I get awfully tired? And is there something that makes it okay in the end? Is there something that makes it worth it, being so tired, going through all this?

The Myth of Sanity, Martha Stout (via sashayed)

Not sure if this is useful to anyone, but I had a big breakthroughs in my idea of self-care recently when I applied a phrase I use to combat negative self-talk – “Would you talk to a close friend that way?” – and reframed it as: “Would you care for a friend that way?”

Imagine my friend came to visit and she got hungry. Would I say, “Wait five hours until I’m done with this project and then you can eat a granola bar?” No, I would not. Would I say, “I’m don’t have time to go grocery shopping for you, so why don’t you spend three days straight eating this years-old Ramen I found in the basement that one of my old roommates left behind?” No, I would not. If her clothes got dirty, would I say, “I’m too lazy to scrounge up some quarters so why don’t you wear these ill-fitting clothes from Goodwill with holes in them?” No, I would not. If she had a day off, would I say, “I can’t be bothered to find something good for you to do; why don’t you just sit on the couch reading depressing internet articles all day?” No I would not. And if I were at a party, and she was tired and feeling uncomfortable and wanted to go home, would I say, “Stop being such an awkward loser, stay here and smile at people so they don’t think you’re rude?” No, I would not. A person I treated that way would be justified in wondering if she was my friend at all.

But, needless to say, I treat myself that way all the time. Once my friend has all her basic needs taken care of, sure, we can go for manicures and massages after. But that’s not the point. The point is making sure she’s fed and washed and clothed and comfortable; and I don’t think I’m the only one who has a whole lot of trouble even getting to that point.

pretentious illiterate (that’s their username, not an insult) on Metafilter (via gazztron)

tatterdemalionamberite:

neurodiversitysci:

fierceawakening:

star-anise:

God fucking bless the “worried well” who seek psychotherapy. They can mostly keep their lives/jobs/families running, but want an increase in their mood or quality of life, and come to me for a tune-up. They talk about existential questions and childhood dreams and personal fulfillment, and worry that they’re “whining” or “taking up [my] valuable time.”

I like them for them, of course; I find their lives and worries interesting and valuable, and enjoy the work we do together. But also?

They make the more “serious” work I do possible. People with the greatest need for therapy are frequently the least able to pay for it. When one of my clients loses their job and benefits, they need therapy more, not less. And in private practice I can only afford to keep treating them for free if I have enough people on my caseload who are paying me full price. My ability to volunteer at a homeless shelter and talk to them about grief and trauma is strongly dictated by how many upper-middle-class people pay me $200 an hour to talk about optimal job performance.

And emotionally, it is an honest fucking joy sometimes to get out of a session with someone whose childhood abuse makes their entire life difficult, and spend an hour talking to one of my worried writer clients about anxiety management and creativity and nothing too deeply painful.

So if you’ve ever paid a therapist but felt self-indulgent or whiny or like your problems “weren’t serious enough”: please know you’re valuable and important. Not just for yourself (though you are), but because your presence in that therapy room makes a lot of other things possible.

i was tense because as someone who has trauma in her history but looks to a lot of people like “worried well” (to the point it took me years to be properly diagnosed with PTSD, ugh) i expected bashing from this post

THANK YOU for doing a very different thing ❤

I mean, once upon a time the worried well had confession with priests, or village elders/wise old men and women, or shamans/people in touch with the spirit world to listen to them and advise them on how to lead a happier, wiser life. Now that we’re a secular society that treats shamanism etc. as superstition, and locks old people away? All the worried well have is self help books, psychotherapy, people they know in person who are probably no wiser than they are, and talking to people on Tumblr. Of all these options, psychotherapy seems the most likely to actually help. Going to psychotherapy when you’re not severely mentally ill fills an important need that society isn’t otherwise filling, so it’s not shameful to go.

Also, the boundary between “worried well” and mentally ill/traumatized can be blurry sometimes. At one point I was in therapy for severe depression. But now, with my lower grade trauma, social anxiety, excessive shame, and just Needing Someone To Talk To In Order to Deal With Emotional Stuff And Reflect in General? That’s “worried well” compared to a lot of people here on Tumblr.

A related idea (which I’ve had before) is that if you do have a serious trauma, you’re wasting your/the therapist’s time if you aren’t talking about the most traumatic thing possible every single moment of therapy. But sometimes you’re not ready to go there, and that’s okay. Sometimes, your work or family need you to focus on more minor problems, like anxiety management or writer’s block. And getting unstuck on something like that can make you feel so much better about yourself, and more capable of change in general. I would think that could only help you deal with the serious trauma.

Thank you for writing this, @star-anise.

*cheerful neurodivergent yelling* Curb-cutter effect! Curb-cutter effect!! CURB!! CUTTER!! EFFECT!!

What are the symptoms of ADHD besides hyperactivity? All I’ve been exposed to is stereotypes of what it’s like to have ADHD and I want to learn more!

jumpingjacktrash:

amusewithaview:

frogsandcoffee:

sailor-rhys:

whineosaur:

radio-charlie:

twentyonelizards:

backofthebookshelf:

mckitterick:

manyblinkinglights:

thefisherqueen:

thedoctorisadhd:

well here’s what it’s like for me

  • feeling like you need to Do Shit All The Time
  • like, literally every second
  • if you aren’t stimulated for even a second you’re incredibly bored
  • boredom is literally painful
  • it’s worse than death
  • worse than e v e r y t h i n g
  • feelin that sweet Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria™ any time you get teased or insulted
  • when you’re listening to music you always tune it out eventually
  • not picking up on social cues At All
  • actually, what are social cues?
  • can’t regulate attention
  • not interesting = not worth paying attention to
  • hyperfocus for hours
  • “wAIT ITS 4 PM WHAT THE F U C K”
  • did i forget to eat again
  • The Thoughts go from point a to point g in less than one (1) fuckin sentence
  • *someone says a thing* what *person repeats thing* what *person repeats thing again and you still don’t hear them but dont ask what again in case they think ur weird*
  • or, alternatively
  • *someone says a thing* what *person starts to repeat said thing; you reply less than a second after they start*
  • using subtitles all the time so you don’t have to go back twenty times to determine What The Fuck someone said
  • “sorry i tuned you out for that entire sentence can you repeat that”
  • needing e x t r e m e l y s p e c i f i c d i r e c t i o n s
  • EXTREMELY POOR VOLUME CONTROL TBH
  • tfw that thing u were working on falls apart and u cant redo it bc u already did it and that would be boring
  • long blocks of text are Extremely Hard to Read
  • ur fuckin brain works 12 times as fast as everyone elses. for every ADHD person it’s somethin different. for me it’s puns. ill choke on my own laughter at a pun an Entire Second before anyone else even gets it
  • RAMBLING
  • The Leg Bounce™
  • Disassociation
  • that ADHD feel when you
  • ^^ that one is a True Marker of an ADHD person. only ADHD people understand.

Reblogging because I think this is super helpful 

!!!!! PSA that the hyperactive stuff on here (always needing to Do Something, ccaann’‘tt bbee bboorreed, etc) can wind up masked almost totally by maladaptive daydreaming, which, when you think about it, is actually a marvelous way to begin INSTANTLY doing something interesting without even having to get up and go somewhere else. Once you internalize your need for stimulation and start watchin’ the ol’ headmovies, you might LOOK like a very patient person who has no trouble sitting still when it’s required or staying on-task for extended periods of time despite setbacks and delays, but only from the outside. Inside there are tabs open with music videos and etc. playing, and you’re probably glancing back at reality only when necessary. You might look at sensation-seeking symptoms like hyperactivity and think “can’t relate” when, really, you’re just ready to return to your interior hyperactivity at a moment’s notice.

@ everybody who can’t just slip out of reality when boredom threatens and who has to instead find something to entertain themselves with irl, my heart goes out to you and everyone around you because holy fuck

I wonder how many writers and other creatives are ADHD. I mean, that whole “Occupy the brain with invented narratives, characters, dialogue, and wotld-building” thing was my refuge as a child, and has become my happy place as an adult.

I’d write all day, every day, if I could arrange my life for that. Coping technique turned profession. Unfortunately, the Day Jobbe sucks up most of my creative energy, alas.

Others out there like me?

I had a teacher in high school who pulled me aside one day and thanked me for being so attentive in class, and all I could think was, “bitch I am on year three of a Harry Potter OC fanfic, I have not heard a single word you’ve said in weeks.” So, yeah, maybe.

(A couple years ago I turned up positive on an ADHD screening, but I wasn’t jittery and I don’t forget appointments so my therapist said nah, probably not. But I’m finally getting my anemia treated, and I’m starting to wonder if maybe ADHD comorbid with depression and iron deficiency, compensated for by years of refining my note-taking and planner systems, doesn’t explain an awful lot.)

Just so you know, ADHD and ADD are no longer separate diagnoses- there’s just ADHD, and subtypes (primarily inattentive, primarily hyperactive, combined). That means there’s tons of us ADHD people who aren’t hyper physically and may even struggle with fatigue and brain fog pretty badly. 

Some more exciting ADHD things include:

– I have lost this thing. When did I lose it? Where did I lose it? Did I ever have it in the first place?

– ‘I’m calling because you missed yo-’ FUCK

– the overwhelming need to be stimulated combined with getting tired of everything quickly and lacking physical energy/ the ability to concentrate 

– saying offensive or inappropriate things and then when people are like ‘what are you thinking?’ being like ‘i honestly could not tell you’

– your brain is like one of those shopfront windows with all the TVs playing different channels. at least one of them is a song.

– ‘okay you can’t leave the exam hall until 1PM, so if you finish early you’ll just have to sit there’ haha death would be kinder

– poor emotional regulation. feelings are Very Hard To Handle By Yourself and you might break things when angry, hurt yourself when sad etc

– step one: join club or society. step two: learn everything there is and volunteer for as much responsibility as possible. step three: lose interest completely and ghost or quit, ignoring desperate/confused emails and hating yourself

– “something i thought has distressed me, but i can’t remember what. let me sit down and unpack the last five minutes of mental conversation.”

“!!!!! PSA that the hyperactive stuff on here (always needing to Do Something, ccaann’‘tt bbee bboorreed, etc) can wind up masked almost totally by maladaptive daydreaming, which, when you think about it, is actually a marvelous way to begin INSTANTLY doing something interesting without even having to get up and go somewhere else. Once you internalize your need for stimulation and start watchin’ the ol’ headmovies, you might LOOK like a very patient person who has no trouble sitting still when it’s required or staying on-task for extended periods of time despite setbacks and delays, but only from the outside.“

HAHAHAHAH omg I should have seen this 15 years ago

ADHD is reading the first post in this thread, skipping all the commentary, and rebloggingbit anyway

My input is ADHD is TALKING CONSTANTLY AND UNABLE TO STOP

As someone who’s been maladaptive daydreaming since I was 3/as long as I can remember

It is EXACTLY why I write/draw/get so passionate about stories

But it’s also why as a kid no one saw blatant ADHD- I can be patient and calm but my mind is constantly on high speed daydreaming and creating and writing and it can still be very hard to focus/cope with mental exhaustion

Putting something down because you’re done with it and have it CEASE TO EXIST. You don’t put away the jam that’s less than a foot from the fridge because your mind has already moved onto something else.

Getting an idea and having it be The Only Thing You Can Think About for the next however long it takes for you to go to sleep and (hopefully) reset.

some of the stuff on that list looks more autistic than adhd, but they often coexist. i’m the poster boy for adhd and also the more verbal and sensory kind of autism, and they really bleed into each other. am i failing to absorb any information from your ted talk because i’m glitching out from adhd, or because i’m losing speech processing from autism?

all i can do is take my concerta and see whether the situation improves. if not, it was probably autism. 😛

spacetushy:

dopedripsss:

mackenzie-bree:

Do you ever notice yourself getting bad again…like, you know you’re not doing work that needs to be done, you know you’re not cleaning, you know you’re not taking care of yourself…you know all the things you need to do to start trying to feel better. But you just can’t. And you’re left feeling like shit bc you thought you were getting better but here we are

This 💯

RECOVERY. IS. NOT. LINEAR.
notice yourself slipping,
be tender with yourself,
and get back to work

it’ll all be okay