anachronisticsiren:
snootch:
To be quite honest, if you’re one of those “I don’t owe you an explanation, use google” queers/sjw, I can’t help but wonder if you realize how fucking privileged you are.
How privileged do you have to be to be able to afford telling a potential ally (or at least less bigoted) to go fuck themselves when they ask you a question.
And there’s a H U G E difference between telling an obvious sealioner to crawl up their own ass and tearing down someone asking a genuine question.
Can they use google? Yes. But for whatever reason they’ve decided to ask you. Maybe its out of convenience, maybe they want your specific opinion/perspective, maybe they’re just too lazy or don’t really care enough to do their own research.
Either way, you are being presented the opportunity to teach someone something important, and you’re throwing that away. You’re telling them, and anyone who sees your comment, that you don’t actually care about changing anyone’s opinion on queer folk.
Whether you like it or not, aggression chases off allies. Because ‘open minded’ people become ‘non bigoted’ people become shitty allies become kinda ok allies and so on and so forth. And frankly, I’d rather have a shitty ally who’s support is conditional who can maybe learn to be less shitty, than a douche bag that’s decided to continue being a douchebag forever because some trans person couldn’t be fucked to decline politely.
You don’t have to educate every single person that asks you a question. But don’t shut them down and tell them to use google.
A simple “I’m not up for explaining it right now, maybe later/maybe someone else can explain it” will suffice.
“Go use google I don’t owe you shit 🙃🙃🙃” isn’t gonna get you anywhere and its such a shitty, privileged response.
If the other person isn’t be rude, its fucking childish to respond to them with that kind of attitude.
If you’re actively putting out posts about queerness and putting yourself in the public eye as a queer activist-
If you self identify. As a queer activist. And then refuse to offer education to cishets. You’re not an activist, you’re just an angry minority.
I’ve always felt this way but I so rarely see anyone talking about it.
I know no one “owes” anybody any answers or explanations, but if someone is genuinely asking, there’s no reason to be rude and dismissive. There are polite ways to decline to answer. They’re just trying to educate themselves, don’t be an ass.
Been thinking about this even more than usual lately. I totally get that there ARE people out there who actually have no interest in understanding others and all they want to do is wear you out—but I personally don’t see this as the motive and tactic of the average person, it’s more the work of a vocal minority.
Sorry if this is all over the place, guys.
There are so many people who exist outside of Tumblr, Twitter, Facebook, etc. and there are those who spend very little time on said sites. Their questions may seem like acts of disrespect or rudeness, but think about it; you read about this stuff every day, most likely from people who share your beliefs and conviction. Not everyone is exposed to the same ideological rhetoric and at the same rate. Some people have the same passion and desire to help others, but their sources differ.
I am of the belief that the average person doesn’t lack empathy so far as to want to fuck over the world and a chunk of its inhabitants “just ‘cuz.” People may act selfishly, but most of them want others to be OK somehow. They’re not sadists. They’re not deliberately trying to cause harm for the mere sake of it—that would be cruel and evil. To assume that most of the world is senselessly evil, is just… No. Most people may be misguided, but not evil or unreasonable. (Many are jerks, but they’re not incapable of decency and may simply fail to see the real harm in what they say or do.) It’s just that these people don’t always agree how to best implement positive change. They even disagree on what is or isn’t positive. Good intentions don’t absolve a person of responsibility, nor do they erase impact, but I strongly believe they ought to be take into account.
When you talk to people, it’s important to see their humanity. It’s important to find some common ground. Hate typically stems from fear, so I implore you to learn what makes people afraid and assuage that fear with facts and compassion. I’m a Christian. When I see someone who’s afraid of Christianity so much that they hate it, I usually see where they’re coming from. I understand well that Christianity is and has been used to hurt and oppress others. I look past the anger of the person I’m addressing and see someone who, for example, abhors violence against LGBT people. Or someone who’s been terribly harmed by a religious family member, someone who opposes others being hurt and silenced the way they themselves were hurt and silenced. Well, I oppose that, too. There’s our common ground. The point is, what really is the source? Even people who say xenophobic things often have a well-intentioned goal, like “I want to protect my family.” I want to protect your family, too, and mine. Let me prove to you how immigration as a whole is not a threat to your family.
I want people to know where I’m coming from, and I wish to be understood. People seldom listen to those they deem unreasonable, and one most definitely comes across as unreasonable if one shuts down honest inquiry or ostracizes people for making mistakes—and when I say “mistakes,” I’m not talking about heinous crimes, I’m talking about insensitivity, jokes, repeating terms they’ve heard with little to no understanding of their real meaning or history, etc. Did you come out of the womb an informed member of society? Have you never said or done something, say, racist or sexist? Did you never have a phase in your life during which you thoughtlessly acted a certain way because you never stopped to think long and hard about how those actions could affect others or how they could be interpreted? Give people room to grow. Give yourself room to grow, too, because self-development and -improvement is something that ought never stop.
This might earn me some backlash, but…
I’m also of the belief that silenced ideas are not challenged ideas. You can’t get rid of an idea with a smoke bomb or megaphone or a riot. You can drive that idea underground with the threat of righteous violence, but you haven’t gotten rid of it. You can slap duct tape on someone’s mouth, but their ideas are alive and well in their heads. Harmful ideas ought to be challenged with facts, not censored without debate—maybe not 100% of the time and in all spaces, but definitely in places of education. Generally speaking, I honestly think speakers who have ideas one finds alarming, offensive, or controversial should be allowed to speak on college campuses in the form of a debate and/or Q&A. Don’t let those ideas slip away into the corners of the internet where they gain momentum unchallenged. Screaming is not an argument. Shut that shit down with research in places where people willingly come to learn. Universities are where people come to be exposed to ideas, even uncomfortable ones.
If an anti-feminist comes to speak, I honestly want to listen, not because I expect to agree, but because I want to arm myself with information. I’m not empowering the speaker, I’m empowering myself. I need to fully understand why that person thinks the way they do in order to refute their ideas. What are their sources? How do mine compare? I’m an independent woman. I don’t need other well-meaning feminists to tell me what I can or can’t handle, or what I should or shouldn’t expose myself to. I can think for myself. I have enough mental fortitude to be exposed to an opposing idea without completely losing myself. I don’t come back weaker, I come back stronger. I don’t need to be parented by feminism. And ultimately, my allegiance is not to any one particular ideology or movement, but to the truth, and I’ll go wherever that takes me. I’m not stupid, and I’m not a child. My brain is thirsty and I don’t need y’all censoring ideas left and right if they even slightly conflict with your own. How does merely shushing people up equip me to confront them later on? Because I WILL have to confront them later on.
Please know what you believe and why you believe it. Please don’t succumb to group mentality even if that group strives to do what they sincerely believe is good. I’ve seen it so many times where people can’t actually answer why they want something, they just repeat what they’ve been told and hope that it’s actually doing something positive. I’d argue that most of you guys have big, amazing hearts, but you can’t enact change with your emotions alone. Arm yourselves with facts (and understand that what you regard as “fact” may be considered debunked research or fiction compared to someone else’s “facts”). please expose yourselves to uncomfortable dissent from time to time, and please try not to treat the vast majority of people outside your groups as boogeymen. I think well-meaning people get so pumped up with passion in the heat of the moment—particularly when part of a crowd—that they react with disproportionate aggression.
I understand that debate or open exploration isn’t for everyone. If you’re a socially anxious person or the subject is too painful to discuss, there are other people in your movement who have the gifts of public speaking, good articulation, charisma, good mental health, etc. Share your thoughts with them in a way that is comfortable for you and let them engage with the others—please don’t pull them back because it’s “taboo” to have dialogue with “the enemy.” We’re all different, we all have different strengths and roles we can take on. Don’t let someone shame you for being quiet and/or nervous; you could very well be the emotional support vocal people need after a heated encounter.
I have a lot of feelings about this lol. Sorry for using this post as a launching point.
I love this.
just moving along like everyone else 