americans – just moving along like everyone else

jumpingjacktrash:

justgot1:

lindsayribar:

gerrycanavan:

I’m afraid of Americans

This is super real.

Completely accurate.

y’all city folk missed a few

pretty dang good: the best i have ever seen

not so damn bad: i’m in love

you’ll do: our fates are now intertwined

i’ve seen better: things are terrible

it’ll be a funny story for your grandkids: everything is on fire and we may die

little nippy out: everything is frozen solid

cold enough for ya?: polar bears are huddling around drum fires; penguins are looking up timeshares in florida; permafrost is reaching for the earth’s core; school may or may not be canceled

kinda muggy: sweat is pouring down my body and pooling in my shoes

hot enough for ya?: i can’t move my car because the tires have melted to the pavement

wind’s kickin’ up: there is a tornado literally bearing down on us right now

my bro: this person has seen me drunk naked and didn’t put the pictures on facebook

my posse: i would take a bullet for these idiots but i have punched at least half of them at one time or another