most of these are pretty valid reasons why it would be premature to expect to encounter aliens now. i think we also tend to forget that even if there were civilizations at our own tech level right next door, astronomically speaking, their radio and television signals would be unreadably attenuated by the time they reached us. there might be music and images in the faint static our radio telescopes pick up, but it’s so scattered and degraded we’d never be able to tell.
Bad: aliens that insist upon referring to human women as “feeeeemales”.
Good: aliens that insist upon dividing humans into binary categories, but the binary in question is based on something we’d regard as trivial and bizarre.
pro cilantro and anti cilantro
Just to screw with us they refer to have designated half the population as “edible” and the other half is “inedible.”
No intention of eating anyone, they just like how uncomfortable it makes everyone.
Even better: the aliens all agree on who is edible and who is inedible, but the humans have no idea what the criteria is
Even better: there is no criteria, the Aliens just keep a running list of whenever one member designated a human as edible or not. People are baffled because the selection appears random yet all the aliens are up to date, so there must be SOMETHJNG
I love this because it implies the aliens possess either (1) a universal hive mind or (2) an intergalactic group chat dedicated to fucking with humanity
From the Wikipedia page about the Fermi Paradox: Given the high scientific probability for alien existence, why can we find no evidence of their existence whatsoever?
when the aliens come, half of the world is gonna want to have sex with them, and the other half is gonna want to kill them, and if you alien-killers ruin this for all us alien-bangers, I’m gonna be really pissed off at yall
the ultimate dilemma: what if the aliens are hot AND mean?
just moving along like everyone else 