so this happened in case you wondered–as i too once wondered–how this sacred union came to be
It gets better. That was the same weekend he took a picture with Michelle Obama. As Sportsbog pointed out, that might be the first time anyone managed to get and post that particular Venn diagram of famous photo opportunities in a forty eight hour period. Ovi’s apparently just good at that.
1 human, 3 bears. i’m assuming they can also use the terrain.
id pick the human and the ten thousand rats. the other creatures are mostly predators, who look cool but are by nature cautious and easily spooked by prey species fighting back and would thus be freaked into running away after a couple good nips— and if they didn’t, they’d be skeletonized. and even angry bulls cant do much against a swarm of tiny opponents: they could trample a couple by sheer luck, i guess, but, again, TEN THOUSAND RATS. a swarm of ten thousand rats is enough to win against anything. the human with a gun would just be there so i had someone to chat with during the clean up.
I don’t know man, if the five gorillas are organized, they can beat a fuckin’ tank
sure, but rats aren’t a tank. a tank is one slow, solid enemy with very limited mobility. you can punch a tank. a rat swarm, like pretty much any other kind of swarm, has pretty much infinite mobility, and can attack you from every direction all at once. the gorillas would have the best chance against the rat swarm to survive, since they have hands and can climb and are smart and their top speed is a disturbingly zippy 20mph, but how the hell would they win? swat the ground with branches? anywhere they touch the ground, rats can run up and start biting them. have you ever tried to fight a swarm of wasps? this would be like that except the wasps are eating you. and there’s ten thousand of them.
i hate feeling guilty and tbh it’s really easy for me to feel that way and for a long time too
The other part of the picture is that, once a group has “we try to hurt our enemies’ feelings” as a norm, it will attract people who want to do that, whether they share the groups’ values or not. Lots and lots of people choose political affiliations based on which ones let them behave the way they want to behave; a cost of tolerating lots of behavior from ‘your side’ is that you get a lot of people who are there for your tolerance.
obvs there is something great about when a Big Scary turns into a Big Softie where Tiny Useless is concerned, but what i like better is:
Tiny Useless decides, with no prompting and for no apparent reason whatsoever, that Big Scary needs protecting. and if no one else will do it then this accidentally-gets-stepped-on, blows-away-in-a-stiff-breeze motherfucker is going to have to be the one to protect this living mountain of pain. you wanna get to this troll, you’re gonna have to go through this pixie. you try to come for this tibetan mastiff, this chihuahua’s gonna try to kick your ass first.
and the Big Scary is mostly just?? really confused???? there are at least twenty different reasons why this is fucking dumb. but also this feeble lil shit is the first person in the entire world to try and stand up for this person that absolutely does not need it. Big Scary continues to be huge and terrifying but now Tiny Useless has their undying loyalty and it will probably not end well for anyone.
i like seeing all of the ships this has been tagged with, but, i am going to be completely honest with you guys, when i wrote this i was thinking about little girls like my sister, who at the age of five had a strict ‘talk shit get hit’ policy about the incredible hulk
Can we just talk about Dave saying “one of us needs to die” and John automatically volunteering himself, and then trying to convince Dave to leave time frozen and go on adventures with him because he would rather live in a world with nobody but his best friend than in a world where Dave is dead
i gotta say, figuring out this wasn’t about homestuck threw me for a goddamn loop
just moving along like everyone else 