*releases pack of dads into home depot* go……be free
invasive species encroach on lesbian territory
This is a common misconception because they’re such similar environments, but you should be aware that dads are native to Home Depot, while lesbians are actually native to Lowe’s. At this point, however, both dads and lesbians have made themselves at home in both Home Depot and Lowe’s to the point that trying to separate them back into their original ranges would probably do more harm than good to the delicate ecosystem of large chain hardware stores.
A properly raised and socialized Dad will be perfectly comfortable cohabiting with Lesbians. Its not really “encroaching on another’s territory”. You wouldn’t say that about foxes in a forest that also homes bobcats, would you? No. It’s just two different species that have both evolved to live in similar/the same environment. As long as they recognize each other as equals, Dads and Lesbians are more than capable of cohabitation.
Now, if you were to release a pack of Lumberjacks into a Lowes or Home Depot, that’s where chaos will reign. Being adapted to a far harsher and more demanding environment, the Lumberjacks would simply push Dads and Lesbians both out and also consume far more than a sustainable amount of resources. It would be like releasing bears at a country club.
As a former timber-harvester… I feel this is potentially accurate in theory. But highly improbable in actuality.
Lumberjacks, like most megafauna species generally require more space than the average hardware store, even a big box store could provide. The misconception is that Lumberjacks are a social species because of how they often work and live together.
This is a matter of necessity, not preference, and a survival technique for thriving under the LogBoss.
A “pack” of Lumberjacks, if not under the environmental pressure of a LogBoss will naturally disperse until they each have a wide territory.
Lumberjacks rarely fight for territory.
One on one, a Lumberjack could drive out a Dad or Lesbian, however the latter tend to travel in social packs.
Lumberjacks will passively retreat on the presence of large numbers of people. Kind of like Sasquatch.
Getting a “pack” of Lumberjacks assembled would be hard enough unless they were forced into a Hardware Store by a LogBoss. In that case, they would already be in a heightened and potentially agitated state far above their natural behavior. This artificial scenario can be likened to a circus animal running amok. If it had been in the wild, the incident would not have occurred.
Free-roaming Lumberjacks are the cryptids of the Hardware ecosystem. They are surprisingly quiet and unobtrusive.
Please stop labeling Lumberjacks as dangerous roving social predators. They are intermediate level omnivores and remarkably peaceful unless threatened.
This ma be my most favouritest sentence I’ve read all day:
Free-roaming Lumberjacks are the cryptids of the Hardware ecosystem.
Lobelia: I’m Lobelia Sackville-Baggins and I want to see Frodo!
Sam: never heard of you *slams door*
Sam, to Frodo: I panicked 😦
*
Merry: do you have an appointment?
Lobelia: what no
Merry: ahh. bad luck then.
*
Fatty: Frodo who?
Lobelia: Frodo Baggins!
Fatty: never heard of him
*
Merry: sudden onset smallpox
Lobelia: I don’t believe you
Merry: bet your life?
Lobelia: …….
Lobelia: *hastens down garden path*
Merry, calling after her: I’m immune! 🙂
*
Pippin: Fatty sat on him by accident and squashed him flat and now he’s dead
Lobelia: I can see him through the parlour window.
Pippin: ….DAMN IT
*
Fatty: yes hello I am Frodo
Lobelia: no you’re not, you’re Mr Bolger
Fatty: ………………no I am Frodo Baggins and this is my hole
*
Sam: he’s having a nap
Lobelia: well wake him up this is important
Sam: absolutely not
*
Pippin: he’s dead again
Lobelia: no he isn’t
Pippin: one of these days it’s going to be true and then you’ll be sorry
*
Fatty, holding out a fistful of teaspoons: p-please……. just take them…… take them and go….
Lobelia: I’ve never been so insulted in all my life!!
Lobelia: *snatches teaspoons and power walks away*
*
Frodo, deadpan: oh I’m sorry Frodo isn’t in, can I take a message? 🙂
Lobelia: I-
*
Lobelia: Can I speak to Frodo
Merry: no. *shuts door*
Lobelia: is Frodo in?
Sam: you know what….
*Frodo jumps out a window and runs to Buckland*
he just left.
When Frodo first started telling them to ‘get rid of Lobelia’ he meant like, politely but when he realised they were doing this instead he kept asking them to get rid of her to see what they’d come up with next
danny fenton:
-wears a shirt to the water park
-accidentally uses the womens restroom
-“i would tell you to use the mens room but i dont think you qualify”
-chest occasionally bulges in his ghost suit
-is a trans boy
reblog this make cis people mad that im “ruining their childhood”
stable clone of him was a younger girl named danni
the series is literally about him keeping his identity a secret from his parents,believing that if they found out they’d stop loving him as their child and even kill him.
said identity is only known by his closest friends and others in the “community”.
After his college-age sister accidentally walks in on him altering his appearance and thereby learns his identity, she becomes clumsily obsessed with protecting him and being an ally.
Sam was able to disguise herself as him effortlessly.
👏🏼Danny 👏🏼 fenton 👏🏼 is 👏🏼 trans 👏🏼
Reblog to make trans people feel represented and Elmer Hartman get angry.
FUCK stats, FUCK analytics, all hockey players can be characterized wholly by their rankings in these SIX categories: stupidity, slutiness, charm, hair, hockey skill, and ugly
the DA didn’t make the case for the crime and i went into the deliberation room knowing that. i also knew a half-dozen white orange county folks might not see it that way. the defendant was latino, there was a gang charge in addition to robbery.
sure enough, as we went around the table to give our first impressions, the white ladies used language around “gut instinct” and “he shouldn’t be hanging out with bad people” and the like. others were undecided because there was so much unreliable testimony.
they got to me and i flatly said “i have reasonable doubts.” i stated some of my reasoning and heads started to nod. the next 3 jurors to talk after me were hispanic. they stated that they understood why this might be confusing, and then gave some personal perspectives about growing up in disadvantage neighborhoods, how not everyone is a gangster just because they live there. one white lady said “well, you know, they should really move if that’s the case.”
the discussion opened up and it went right to gangs, right to how the defendant shouldn’t be hanging out with gang members. everyone had an opinion about how the defendant looked, or talked, or that he was drinking a 40 just before the robbery, or that he was related to a gang member. they went right to that.
but that’s not what we were supposed to decide on. we were there for a robbery as the primary charge. a robbery that i very clearly felt the state had not be able to pin on this guy.
so… being the loud mouth that i sometimes am… i interrupted and said “let’s all turn to page 14 in the jury instructions and go through what would make the charge ‘guilty’, line by line, and see where we all stand.”
sure enough, when we focused on the actual charge, and the facts actually required for someone to be found guilty, most in the room agreed it wasn’t there. well, except for two white ladies.
so i, also a white lady, helped to walk them through the list. when “gut instinct” or “it’s a bad neighborhood” came up, i kindly pointed out that those are not facts of the case. when i requested that they use the facts of the case to provide reasoning for their position, they both quietly agreed there weren’t any.
and that’s how, in about an hour, we came to a unanimous decision of ‘not guilty’.
i don’t have experience with the court system. and i don’t watch court room based tv dramas. so i was really a blank slate to all this.
i was taken aback at the very clear inherent bias that some jurors displayed, and all the while realizing they didn’t think of themselves as bias. but i was also taken aback by how focusing on the process, the rules, and the facts quickly squashed that line of reasoning.
this has buoyed me a bit, in light of the actions of the aclu over the muslim ban. but it also feels so fragile. so very fragile.
And this is exactly why I have never tried to get out of jury duty. We need clear thinking, intelligent people on juries. I get so frustrated with people I know who are always looking for a way out of serving.
somebody offer this hero a cape
Fellow whites. THIS IS WHAT WE SHOULD BE DOING.
Which means -get yourselfs on juries-. Don’t skip jury duty. Don’t skip don’t skip don’t try to sneak out of it, get on that jury, and make sure you are keeping all the other white people in line.
that post was right i wouldn’t have a sense of humor without spongebob. its still some of the goddamn funniest shit i’ve ever seen. spongebob almost dying because he’s too polite to ask for a glass of water at sandy’s house. mr. krabs and spongebob killing the health inspector. smittywerbenjagermenjensen. “I was born with glass bones and paper skin. every morning I break my legs. and every afternoon I break my arms.” the perfume department on the flying dutchman’s boat. that time spongebob cleared his mind to be a fine dining waiter and forgot his own name because that’s how customer service just BE. the ugly barnacle that was so ugly everyone DIED. the END. the one where squidward buys a pie but it’s actually a bomb. and the MUSICAL numbers like??? the fun song. the christmas song. tony award winning song “this grill is not a grill”. the entire band geeks episode like…this is all from the top of my head!!!!! just from the top of my head!!! there’s so much more!!! thank god for stephen and all the laughs i’ve had because of him.
There’s something that I fundamentally don’t understand about Article 13.
It doesn’t simply protect copyrighted content, it will also absolutely impact the bottom line of these big businesses too. This is how I see it.
Here’s my current fandom:
How did I get into Kingsman? Was it because I saw a trailer for it on TV and thought, “Hey, I should see that.”
Nope. It was via online fandom content almost two years after Kingsman: The Secret Service was released. I never would’ve given it the time of day if not for gifsets and fanfic that I saw and read before I’d even seen the movie. But I saw those things first, so the movie then caught my interest, and I watched it. Legally. I ended up purchasing movie tickets for the sequel, I bought the movies on Blu-ray, I bought some official Kingsman merchandise (don’t judge me), and I even spent a little money on one of the official Kingsman mobile games (like 20 dolla, and I’m not proud of it).
I spend a significant part of my online time interacting in the orbit of the Kingsman fandom. I look forward to the third movie (the actual third movie, not this weird prequel thing…ugh). I will actively spend money on the movie and probably some official merchandise when it’s released too. I also have an interest in the actors from the movie and legally seek out their other work (even Robin Hood, haaaa). Meaning I intend to SPEND MONEY on things related to Kingsman because fandom content keeps my interest going long beyond its official release. Fandom content is often what will catch my interest in the first place.
My fandom before Kingsman?
When I got into Marvel/Captain America, how do you think that happened?
Did I see trailers before other movies? TV commercials? Was it because of people I knew in real life who enjoyed it? Nope. I rarely see any promotional material for things because I don’t normally take in content in the traditional way (the same as most other Millennials and Gen Z, I’d wager). I knew of them, obviously, because they’re insanely popular. But I didn’t give a shit.
I didn’t give a lick about Marvel and it wasn’t until I saw some fan commentary and gifsets on Tumblr/in fan spaces of Captain America: The Winter Soldier that I was like, “Oooh, this sounds interesting. I need to watch this.”
And I watched it. Legally. And I bought it. Legally. And I went out and legally watched everything else Marvel. I bought legal/licensed Marvel merchandise. I bought Marvel comics, ffs. Do you think I cared about comics before that? At this point, I’ve probably spent a good few hundred dollars on Marvel related content. Probably closer to $1000 than $100. And that’s mild compared to some people!
Do you think I would’ve done any of that if I hadn’t first seen fan created content that technically uses copyrighted material?
I sure the fuck would not. I would’ve gone on not caring about it at all.
My point is, Article 13 is so fucking short-sighted. Fandom and creative content made by people not associated with these businesses often makes or breaks that content. How many people do you think got into Marvel the same way I did? How many millions of dollars have people spent on Marvel related merchandise because fandom content fostered their interest way beyond “See it in the movie theatre, then go home and forget about it?”
Here’s another example for the other end of the spectrum:
Avatar. The James Cameron movie. It made $2.7 billion at the box office worldwide. That’s nice. But does anyone really give a shit about it? I’ve never seen it. Don’t have any desire to see it or the supposed upcoming sequels. The only online content I see about it? Mocks it. There is no fandom.
To compare fandoms on Ao3:
No one gives a shit. No one is looking for Avatar. Maybe the sequels will do well, I’m not a psychic. I have no idea. But my point is, there is no longevity there. No one is looking for official Avatar merchandise. No one is creating works about it that keeps interest going years after it was released. And continued interest means continued profit.
So Avatar did really, really well at the box office. Exceptionally well. And then?
Are people buying Avatar clothing? Books? Mugs, tchotchkes, spending thousands of dollars to meet the cast and creators at conventions? Special editions of the movies? Collector’s items?
Google “Avatar pop” and what do you think comes up? Pop! figures for the Avatar movie? Nope. There aren’t any. Are there Pop! figures for Avatar: The Last Airbender, which has a healthy online fandom presence? Yep.
Supernatural is an excellent example as well. A small show on a struggling network. Isn’t it on season 247 at this point? What do you think helped it last as long as it has? All that sweet network promo? The A-List status of its stars (hahahaha)?
HAAAAA! NO! It’s the fucking fan content! All the fanvids, fanfic, artwork, gifsets, commentary, discussions, meta, and beyond. All those creations get seen by hundreds, thousands of people who may have never heard of it before. But it’s that kind of content that sparks an interest. If you’re in that fandom, think of the coolest piece of art (or the best fanfic), that’s what inspires people to seek something out. That’s what cultivates an interest for years, including purchasing god knows what for god knows how much money. Terribly photoshopped ~official~ promo pictures and a couple commercials ain’t gonna do it.
Does the below image make me go “LOL WHAT? wats happening? wats going on? wat is this????”
Ya. Dark, morbid, funny. Sounds interesting…
Does the below official image make me go, “Oooh, gotta watch whatever that is!”
It sure the fuck does not. Sorry Jensen Ackles, you’re good looking and all, but nah. Can’t say I have any interest in whatever that is. WHY ARE YOU IN A CAGE? WHAT IS THAT CHAIN FOR? help me i’m scared
ANYWAY. Which content style above is going to inspire and cultivate enough of a longterm interest that people are willing to buy board games, clothing, jewelry, DVD sets, magazines, go to conventions, buy god knows what else, and spread the word about the show? For over a decade? It ain’t the second picture, I can tell you that much.
Fan content creates new fans and cultivates longterm interest which earns big businesses more money.
That is one of many reasons why Article 13 is shit. For fan content creators and for big business. It’s not a threat to the big business bottom line, it’s free promotion.
I BEG YOU. DO NOT SCROLL PAST THIS.
Need the EU’s Directive on Copyright
Article 13 explained to you or a friend in a different way you might get? READ OP’s post now and pass it on!
just moving along like everyone else 