What if women had minstrel cycles instead of menstrual cycles? You’d just have a guy with a lute follow you around for a week every month and play you songs constantly?

My boyfriend (via thecarrionlibrarian)

#no but can you imagine if that was how you learned once a month you weren’t pregnant#by some dude singing songs about the victory of it#you wake up and he’s there and you are so happy#this dude becomes your favorite dude#but then you realize you haven’t seen your friend’s minstrel in a while#I mean everyone notices#like half the people are on the same cycle so for one week out of four your job is just flooded with fucking minstrels everywhere#the cacophony#but Mary over there is all alone#and she’s like my minstrel is late#but we all fucking know#her minstrel has gone off to find her a baby#a nine month journey he must make alone#and until he comes back there is no music in her life#what a glorious world this would be#I love the minstrels (@onionjuggler)

baba-nurse:

okay so you know the video of the guy who forgot he was married to his wife? that but with Nursey as the guy and Dex as the wife but instead of Dex responding with “I’m your husband” when Nursey asks if he’s an angel he says “Close. I’m actually a Nurse.”

and Nursey doesn’t understand for a sec what that means he’s just like “oh. that’s chill.” and Dex laughs and then the doctor comes in like “is everything alright Mr. Nurse?” and Nursey realizes the doctor is referring to him and then he looks at Dex and then at the doctor and his eyes go wide and he’s like “you’re my husband?!”

and honestly Dex would give both his kidneys and half a lung to see Nursey’s face light up like that again god i love these boys

hubbrad:

whenever i want to put a ¯_(ツ)_/¯ in one of my posts i google “shrug emoji” and copy and paste it and i think the reality behind this process kind of undermines the whole blasé, “lmao, who cares? not me” feel i’m trying to add to these posts by adding my little ¯_(ツ)_/¯ guy in the first place