one thing me n my art loving gf would do is visit galleries and play a game called “root, loot or boot”
the gist is that you would look at a group of paintings in a room and decide which figure in the painting you’d root (fuck, in Australian slang), which painting you’d loot (steal and put on your wall at home) and which painting you’d boot (punt into the garbage because it’s shit and Not Art)
a couple of things about my experiences:
1. this game is a lot more fun if you’re attracted to women because there’s so many Hot Gals to choose from
2. if you are attracted to men, you will spend a lot of time going “well, looks like I’ll have to pick jesus again” as my bi gf did
3. it gets more complicated in modern art museums and you find yourself having saying, “I’d fuck the rhombus” “you CAN’T fuck the rhombus” “then I’ll fuck that blue squiggle thing. what’s it called?” “creeping existential dread in blue” “then does that mean I’m fucking the squiggle or am I getting fucked by the existential dread it represents?” “aren’t we all already getting fucked by existential dread?”
4. if you play this with an art history nerd, they may decide to kill you over one of your “boot” choices
5. you will get Disapproving Looks from other patrons who overhear your heated debates
6. it’s also the best fun you’ll ever have in an art gallery
Bad: aliens that insist upon referring to human women as “feeeeemales”.
Good: aliens that insist upon dividing humans into binary categories, but the binary in question is based on something we’d regard as trivial and bizarre.
pro cilantro and anti cilantro
Just to screw with us they refer to have designated half the population as “edible” and the other half is “inedible.”
No intention of eating anyone, they just like how uncomfortable it makes everyone.
Even better: the aliens all agree on who is edible and who is inedible, but the humans have no idea what the criteria is
Even better: there is no criteria, the Aliens just keep a running list of whenever one member designated a human as edible or not. People are baffled because the selection appears random yet all the aliens are up to date, so there must be SOMETHJNG
I love this because it implies the aliens possess either (1) a universal hive mind or (2) an intergalactic group chat dedicated to fucking with humanity
my favorite homestuck thing™ is when something you bump into is so vague and casual that like anybody could see it and enjoy it… but your homestuck sense………. that filthy fuckin homestuck radar you’ve got there….. that thing you earned from homeshit stuckademy after thousands of pages of asinine yet captivating circlejerk web content……. it just starts beeping.
and you know
you just fucking know
at one point i was talking to a friend of a friend and they seemed pretty cool but then they used the word ‘abscond’ and i looked at them and i could see the fear in their eyes because i knew their secret.
pretty much any stand-out memory for homestuck cosplayers during 2011-2015 is extreeeeemely homestuck-specific and so even if they say nothing about their fandom experience during those years, that’s also a dead ringer for having been a homestuck
also it was important for rose to be able to live out the ultimate female power fantasy, which is freeing something large and majestic and abused, then riding it on a terrifying destructive rampage through the corrupt halls of its captors, then freeing it to go cavort in the wild and be free. just look at how women write horses, and dragons, and wolves. just look at the passionate empathy teenage girls have for chained and wounded beasts.
so, i was extremely fucking delighted that star wars finally had a really specifically, quintessentiallyfemale power fantasy in it for once, instead of just more girls stepping into / reclaiming male power fantasies (and thereby reaffirming the universality of male desires and power structures).
i’m not at all surprised that so many adult men are saying ‘what’s the point of that?’ because they’re not the point of it at all. that part wasn’t written for them. it was for girls. even more than general leia was for girls, the Horse Girl Fantasy Ride was for girls, and i love that, and it was great, the end.
“Girls want a Superman, but they walk past a Clark Kent every day”
You fuckin CLOWNS think you’re a CLARK KENT? Not on my fuckin watch. You dumb, headass motherfuckers are barely a Guy Gardner and you think you’re a CLARK KENT? The amount of disrespect is unreal.
Listen here, wannabes: My boi Clark is 240 lbs of PURE KANSAS BEEF trained from a young age by Ma Kent to Love and Respect women as the Intelligent, Independent beings they are. He is shy rambling about tractors and casually moving the copy machine when my pen falls behind it and he would NEVER demand I be sexually or romantically interested just because he’s nice.
Y’all ain’t Clark Kent.
fuckboys wanna think they can’t get a date cuz they’re not superman, when actual fact they’re outclassed by the penguin.
this is not good
i just realized that im waiting for it to be late enough for me to go to bed
this is bad
i sure hope this isnt the isotretinoin bc damn it i want my skin clear
Answer: Because architect Hannibal Lecter was out to get those space nazi mother fuckers and was sabotaging them from the start.
That was perfect.
It’s not just the plot hole of the flaw, “reactors need vents” would have answered that, but it explains why the first Death Star took like 20 years to build even though we saw it was half built at the end of ROTS then but the second Death Star took like 2 years.
It was because Hideo Kojimas Best Friend was fucking ruining their shit the first time, ordering the wrong screws, tripping over cables, spilling coffee on computers, accidentally hitting key engineers on he head with a 2-by-4 anything to delay the space nazis planet fucker.
Galen was the most brilliantly half-assed employee ever.
Didnt he canonically email bomb krennic with 10000 emails to get him to approve the plans without reading what he was approving?
Rogue One might be the best Star Wars movie ever, but that’s just me.
just moving along like everyone else 