honestly “i’ll do whatever you want” “then perish” is the single most powerful exchange possible in the english language and it’s from some bizarre “hewwo” obama rp
And there was that other post where someone dreamt that Obama said “violence for violence is the rule of beasts” like what is it about Obama that makes people come up with such raw fucking dialogue for him
my mother had a dream where he lived in the forest and she had a cigarette with him and he said “to become god is the loneliest achievement of them all” and put it out and walked into the mist and i’ve never fucking forgotten that
Reboot this post to be blessed with dream Obama’s wisdom
To all of my california friends who can’t miss fireflies because they haven’t ever seen them.
^ what? do they not have fireflies in CA??????????
Nope! They don’t really live west of the rockies. The first time I saw them in Ohio, I thought I was hallucinating.
The fireflies were the most fantastic part of my first visit to America. I was with my BF and my roller derby team and we were in one of those yellow schooll buses being taken back from the tournament venue. I spotted some lights in the bushes and pointed it out… then we all lost our minds!!! As it got darker we saw there were SO MANY! Our American hosts couldn’t believe how crazy we were for them… but there is nothing even remotely like this in Scotland, it was like being in a fantasy movie or something. I’ll never forget them.
I love them so much! They come out part-way through my Speculative Fiction Writing Workshop (now taking applications! Pat Cadigan returns as special guest author this year!) each year, and it’s such a joy to introduce these little delights to people from parts of the world where they can’t see them.
PS: In Minnesota, we called them “lightning bugs.”
We had them in Norfolk, Virginia when I was a kid. Same time of year as the junebugs, but those are in the daytime.
Ok but imagine being an Irish immigrant coming to America for the first time having never heard of them and just…nope nope nope Don’t Go In Those Fields The Fairies Fucking Followed US I Thought We Would Be Free Of This Nonsense
fireflies are so sweet and harmless and gentle. they’re not afraid of you, and will perch on you if you happen to be where they are when they feel like sitting down. when it’s hot out, i take my daily walk in the evening just as it’s getting dark, which is prime firefly time. sometimes several of them land on my hat and get a ride.
every year we get a few coming into the house through the air conditioner vents, and they hang out in my room and twinkle for me as i fall asleep. then in the morning i try to find them and put them outside. they’re usually in the curtains. they look like slender little drab beetles with cute dot eye faces in the daylight. turn the lights out and they’re like PARTY TIME? and start blinking their little rave light butts.
These kinds of responses are my FAVORITE. Some examples to answers to this question I have heard:
1.
“Okay, and who’s the president?”
“Obama, no wait, shit *vehemently* fuck, I hate him… what’s his name…”
“It’s okay, you know who he is.”
2.
“Who’s the president?”
“*drunkenly angry and confused* ..uhhhhhhh…Orange… damn it what’s the fuck’s name….
“Yup, good enough.”
3.
“And who’s the president,”
“Not fuckin’ Obama!”
“I feel ya.”
4.
“Who’s the president- wait, nevermind you’re from Korea you said, right? So who’s-“
“Everybody knows that Trump-bitch.”
“Oh, well, alright then.”
5. (My personal favorite)
“Who’s the president?”
“Ew.”
“Good enough.”
My roommate is a neurologist and has to do this check all the time. Her all-time favorite so far has been “ay dios mio” during which the woman was vigorously crossing herself.
concept: I am granted one wish by the universe, which is to live long enough to see the continents form back into one large supercontinent. For hundreds of years, I bide my times meeting new people, learning new hobbies, taking apr tin life and culture. For thousands of years, I explore new planets now that space travel is easily accessible. Eventually, I am grounded on earth for good, for millions of years. Mostly alone.
With no humans left to make conversation, I wander at my leisure, sometimes sitting for a very long time, sometimes walking for months on end, swimming across seas, cataloguing the rise and fall of plants and animals, doing cartwheels up mountains, and napping for millennia at a time near fault lines so I can be rocked to sleep by the rumble of the Earth.
Every few million years, I make my way back to the very edge of one continent and watch the progress of the convergence. I swim across the gap and take a look at it from the other side. I try to remember my geology 101 class from 50 million years ago. I can’t remember why continents move in the first place. I decide it doesn’t matter why. They just are.
Eventually, it’s been 125 million years. I don’t know that exactly, of course. I haven’t been keeping track. But there is only about 10 meters left between the final land masses that need to meet to satisfy me. Of course, by now, the land is one large mass, but I’ve been waiting for it to meet in this particular spot. For more than 100 million years. So I sit and wait.
Some sort of insect hops onto my knee. This is amazing, I think. I haven’t seen an insect around here in 10,000 years. Where did it come from? I’m staring at it until it eventually dies, and then I stare at its body until it becomes dust. Finally, I look back up.
The continents have come together. I wasn’t paying attention. I fuckin’ missed it.
“oh my god” the universe says. “to fulfill your wish you have to SEE it happen, you were VERY specific. now you have to wait for them to separate and come together AGAIN.”
just moving along like everyone else 