I’m gonna go ahead and be a film snob and talk about why this is one of my favorite shots from TOS. (I could also say that it’s one of my favorite scenes, because the entire scene actually consists of a single shot.)
We don’t see a lot of bald expressions of emotion in film and television, especially if that emotion is fear or sadness or vulnerability. Dramas will give us some tears, but they always cut a way after a few seconds because a closeup of someone crying is deeply uncomfortable and most movies and TV shows aren’t in the business of making their audiences uncomfortable. It just doesn’t sell well.
But in this scene the camera never looks away. It follows Spock as he sits down at the table, and it circles him as he cries. But there are no cuts. We don’t even get music to create some distance, make it all a little more palatable; we just hear sobs and mumbled math equations.
It’s absolutely excrutiating. It would be excruciating no matter who we were watching, because we are so unaccustomed to seeing unadulterated emotion. And then there’s the fact that it’s a man. And that it’s Spock.
Fifty years later and this is still one of the most daring filmmaking decisions I’ve ever seen on TV (I of course can’t be exactly sure who made it, but I’m assuming it was the director of the episode, Marc Daniels). This shot lasts 1 minute and 45 seconds. We’re in the middle of space and in the middle of a high-stakes episode where the crew is going crazy and the ship is going to blow up or some shit and everyone’s lives are in danger, but we pause 1 minute and 45 seconds to have an uncomfortably human moment with an alien who doesn’t even want to be human, and it’s so awful and amazing.
Here is an excerpt from Bill’s Star Trek Memories.
As originally scripted, the scene would have begun with Spock walking down a corridor openly sobbing. At that point, we’d cut away and find that another infected crewman has begun frantically running around the ship, slapping graffiti paint jobs all over the walls of the Enterprise. In subsequent shots, we’d find several more crewmen beginning to lose their inhibitions, and just when the pandemonium is beginning to overwhelm the ship, we’d come back to Spock.
Spock is now riding in an elevator, crying. He gets to his floor, and when the doors open, the graffiti guy runs up and paints a big black mustache on Spock’s face. At that point, Spock cries even louder. Leonard continues:
Now, that’s very imaginative, very inventive, very theatrical and very funny, but I felt that it was not really significant or appropriate for Spock. I mean, Spock was crying… but so what? There was no context for it, no discernible root force, no underlying cause for what’s going on. You know, in a strange way, this one-shot extra who’s walking around doing the paint jobs all over the place is a lot more interesting than Spock, who’s weeping. It seemed to me like we were wasting some really strong dramatic possibilities, all for the sake of an easy sight gag.
So I said all of this to John Black, and I also said that what I felt we really need to do her was a scene in which Spock’s basic inner conflict, the human versus the Vulcan, rises to the surface and motivates his tears. I mean this draft of the script found Spock fighting through all this emotion in public, and I felt that would be a terrible thing for Spock, because he’s a very private person.
So I said to John, “I think Spock would look for privacy when he feels the urge to cry. When he can no longer resist his tears, he would probably look for a private place in which to battle it out within himself.”
And John’s reaction was very negative. It was typical producer/writer-under-pressure kind of stuff. “C’mon, leave it alone because I’m working on next week’s script. Shoot it, just shoot it.” This kind of thing. And he complained about hurting the rhythm of the script.”
I’ve got to break into Leonard’s story here to explain that “it hurts the rhythm of the script” is a sort of basic, all-purpose producer’s excuse that’s fed all too often to actors seeking script changes. Good, bad, legitimate, frivolous, it doesn’t matter. If a producer doesn’t want to deal with your suggestions, he’ll probably just tell you that what you’re suggesting “hurts the rhythm of the script.” It’s the TV producer’s equivalent of “the dog ate my homework,” or “the check is in the mail.” It’s just an easy, somewhat plausible excuse that generally has no basis in reality. With that in mind, Leonard’s determination and fiercely protective nature in regard to Spock drove him over Black’s head to Roddenberry.
I called Gene about it, and I told him just what I’d told John. In talking to Gene, I was very careful to be politically supportive of his producer but about an hour and a half later, here comes John Black out to the set. So now I’m feeling, “Ahh, this great!” I’m feeling that someone’s actually listening to me.
And Black was funny, he cam onto the set and said, “Let’s go talk someplace.” We went to my dressing room, and he said, “Okay, tell me your idea again. Daddy says I have to listen to you.” And I had already formulated a basic concept of the scene, so I said, “Look, John, just get me into a room, and write me a half-page, a quarter-page, where you see Spock walk down a corridor and slip inside a door. As the doors close behind him, he’ll burst into this emotional struggle.” And John asked, “Well, what’s this struggle all about?” And I said, “It’s about love and vulnerability and caring and loss and regret, versus C=pi-r-squared and E=m-C-squared. Spock is a scientist, he is logical, and he feels this can’t be happening to him. It’s that kind of struggle. It’s logic versus emotion. It’s rational control versus uncontrollable urge. With that in mind, going behind closed doors will speak to the basic privacy of the character.”
So John wrote that and some other stuff, six or eight lines maybe, and it was exactly what I needed. Spock was now able to slip inside a door, close it behind him, struggle for a moment, then cry. At this point, he would start babbling, and the cause of the internal struggling would become obvious. Problem was, when it came time to shoot this stuff, a whole new set of obstacles had to be overcome.
Marc Daniels, who was directing this particular episode, came up and asked, “What do you have in mind for this scene?” So, playing director, I said, “Just put the camera here, behind the desk. I’ll come in the door, I’ll walk toward you, I’ll come around, I’ll sit in the chair, and I’ll start this babbling conversation with myself, and I’ll cry. Now, if you’ll dolly around getting closer and closer we can meet at the end of the scene. We can see Spock’s entire breakdown in one long dramatic shot.”
Okay, now it’s five-thirty, I got out to get my ears and makeup touched up, and the time is important because we’re on a very rigid schedule. With overtime being so ridiculously and prohibitively expensive, we’d have to wrap each evening at exactly six-eighteen. Didn’t matter if you were in the middle of a sentence, come six-eighteen, we wrapped.
So now Jerry Finnerman starts to light the scene and it’s obvious that this will be our last shot of the day. I’m in the makeup chair, getting touched up, and now in comes Cliff Ralke, our dolly grip, who was always a very supportive person, and he says, “Excuse me, Leonard, but you’d better get out there, because they’re changing the shot you guys just talked about.”
So now Leonard comes out to the set, and the director has indeed changed the shot they’d just agreed upon. It’s important to note, however, that the reasoning behind this change, though not particularly sensitive to Leonard’s needs, was rational and perfectly valid. You see, as previously discussed, this shot would have entailed a one-hundred-and-eighty degree camera move starting from one side of the set, then slowly dollying completely around to the opposite end. This caused problems because the long, involved shot required a lot of lights and a time-consuming, involved setup that Jerry Finnerman didn’t think could be accomplished without going into overtime. Finnerman discussed this situation with Daniels, and together they decided that the most efficient way to shoot this scene would be in a series of brief cuts, each of which could be lit quickly and with relative ease.
They were going to have Leonard enter in a wide shot, then cut. Next, in a slightly tighter framing, they’d follow him as he crossed the set and sat down. Cut. An even tighter frame would catch the beginning of the speech, and they planned to cut once more, zooming to a close-up as Spock began weeping. This made sense in terms of production efficiency, but Leonard felt this shooting sequence would really damage the dramatic impact of the scene. He continues:
I said, “You’re going to lose the continuity and fluidity of the scene if you shoot it this way. I will not be able to do it as well, and I think the end result will just seem choppy and phony.”
By now it’s five forty-five, and with no time to debate the situation, they got hold Gregg Peters, our first A.D., who was the equivalent of the hatchet man. He was the guy who’d always call the six-eighteen wrap, and we all discussed the situation. Finally Marc Daniels said, “Let’s go for it. Let’s try to get it done.”
Now the lighting crew ran around setting up the shot, and I think it was about six-fifteen when they finally said, “We’re ready.” Marc had me walk through it once, and by now production types were standing around behind the camera, looking at their watches and saying, “He won’t make it. He’ll never do it.” So the tension was really mounting.
So basically I know this has got to be a flawless, one-take thing. Y’know, I’ve got one crack at it before they shut us down for the night. If I were to screw up, we’d almost certainly have gone right back to the cut-and-chop scenario come morning. Anyway, this was the scene that I’d asked for and fought for, and now the logistics of the situation were such that there was absolutely no room for error. There was a lot riding on this, and I wouldn’t have been so adamant in my battling if I hadn’t felt that this scene was extremely important. I felt like it merited my efforts, in that it truly defined, for the very first time, what the Spock character was all about.
Now the lights go on, the cameras roll and we nail it. They get the pan, get the one-hundred-and-eighty-degree dolly shot and the scene was ultimately worked really well in illustrating Spock’s inherent inner conflict. This went directly to the heart of what Gene and I had originally spoken about in regard to the character of Spock. It was an opportunity that I absolutely did not want to miss, and an opportunity to plant a seed in defining a certain edge of the character.
Is it impossible for a Dragon a Ball character to be an atheist, given that they all know for a fact that God exists and his name is Dende and he’s green? Or is it impossible for a Dragon Ball character to be anything OTHER than an atheist, because they know these things about God, and also know that most of them could beat him up, and that he has social anxiety and is pretending to be busy so he doesn’t have to talk to Goku?
Like: imagine that you know for a fact that sometimes God can’t hear your prayers, because he’s in his room, stressing out over something he said last month that he thinks might have hurt “Mr. Satan”’s feelings. Does the possession of this harrowing knowledge make you an atheist?
Are Dragon Ball characters atheists if they don’t “believe in” Dende in the sense that they don’t respect him as a person? Like, Dende decides to do something hard, and Gohan says “you can do it, I believe in you!” and Vegeta says “ehhh.” Does this attitude make Vegeta an atheist? Does Dende’s social anxiety make Dende an atheist
when the mcu tries to gently Just Good Pals steve and bucky i want to laugh at them because, like. they were the ones who structured their arc, from the very beginning, as a story about leaving a plucky sweetheart behind in the states when you ship out. it could have been lifted wholesale from practically any wartime romance filmed between 1940 and 1950. “i just wish they’d take me into the army too– i’d go with you, show that fuhrer a thing or two– just promise me you’ll take care!” “darling, don’t worry, you can do your part right here at home– it’s ever so important to the war effort!” it’s the theme of fucking “tender comrade” and “since you went away” and “mrs. miniver” and i could go on and on
the part where steve gets turned into a tall dangerous hillshire farms beef log is the surprising science fiction twist; but the part where he grumps about being Left Behind by a uniformed hottie is 1000% period-accurate romantic dramedy that could have been screenwritten by david o. selznick. i’m sorry mcu i don’t make the fucking rules. this is just how it is. give them their v-e day kiss already and let me rest
also THEY are the ones who put a searching-for-romance subplot in Winter Soldier where Steve says he just can’t find anyone with “shared life experience” 30 minutes before his lifelong best friend who is also a super soldier and was also frozen and also missed the last 70 years comes back from the dead
like what the fuck did they think they were trying to convey there
even if you get along great with your family you will get along even better with them after moving out
generic is almost always just as good as name brand. But there are some things you never buy generic, including: peanut butter, ketchup, liquid NyQuil, Chips-Ahoy chewy chocolate chip cookies
just imagine the person on the other end of the phone hates talking on the phone as much as you do. Even a receptionist. I worked as one and I hate talking on the phone
at least once in your life you will go to Wal-mart to buy something under $20 like an ironing board or something and your debit card will get rejected. No one will judge. Everyone at some point in their lives has had $2.98 in their bank account.
thrift stores
everyone else is too busy panicking about everyone else noticing every tiny thing that could possibly be wrong about them to notice any tiny thing that could possibly be wrong about you
you will screw up. a lot. you live and you learn. and when you start to think too hard about that embarrassing thing that happened and how you wish you could change it, just tell yourself that what’s done is done. There’s no changing it, so just forget it and move on. It’s the only way to stay sane.
do the dishes before the sink grows its own ecosystem
you can’t put Dawn dishsoap in the dishwasher.
if you are the only one in the aisle at the grocery store, and you need to get from one end to the other without even looking at anything in that aisle, then you should totally cart-surf down the aisle. Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional. Hold on to the little things. They make all the difference.
never try to make cake from scratch at 3am. You end up with a topographical map of Middle Earth.
15% tip.
the best way to get money for food is to tell your grandparents about how you basically live on microwaved mac and cheese. Their horror may result in twenty bucks and orders to go out and get yourself “a real dinner”.
sometimes life sucks, and knowing that it might get better doesn’t always make it suck any less, but you’ll never get to the non-sucky days without enduring the suckiness.
no seriously, NEVER put Dawn in your dishwasher
Do not buy generic brand spaghetti sauce either.
Always check the type of light bulb that goes in lamps. A 60w is not interchangeable with a 40w.
Dollar store batteries work just as well as store brand.
Reward yourself from time to time when you do things that you needed to get done. It’s a good way to remind yourself to do them. Going out to pay a bill? Get Starbucks or something you don’t get often. Rewards don’t have to be huge, they can be small things like that.
Rice, pasta, flour, sugar, cheese, eggs, milk, a pack of chicken, a pack of frozen veggies and a well stocked spice cabinet go a long way food-wise. Splurge and get the biggest container of rice you can. You don’t have to go back and buy it again anytime soon and it makes a TON of meals in the meantime.
Rice can be cooked on the stove. You don’t need a fancy rice cooker. Two parts water to every one part rice (two cups water for one cup of rice for example). Get your water boiling, add rice, put a plate or lid on it, put it on low for 20 minutes. It should be done.
Keep a calendar on your pc of bill due dates. If your bills are set up at inconvenient times, like all of the services started on the first or something, then call up the company and find out if you can get your billing date switched to something more manageable. A lot of places do try to work with you.
There is no shame in calling a company and asking for an extension on a bill. Let them know what you can pay, pay that amount, and they arrange when the rest of the payment is required. This can stop you from having services shut off man. It shows responsibility on your part.
Take time to eat, even when you don’t feel like eating. Your body needs energy to live.
Wash or rinse your dishes before putting them in the dishwasher. It prevents gross caked on junk.
“The Works” is an excellent cheap toilet cleaner.
MAGIC. FUCKING. ERASERS. THEY WORK ON EVERYTHING JUST DON’T SCRUB HARD. I took the ring out of our bathtub with one. Also generic ones work just as well.
Keep some bleach around but if you use it for cleaning? Dillute it. There’s rarely ever a case where you need to pout straight bleach on anything. A cap full or two in a bucket of water works just fine.
DO NOT MIX CLEANERS. Chemical reactions are can be very dangerous. Here’s a good list. (Note that vinegar and baking soda can actually be a good combo for removing smells from things but it’s not very good at actually -cleaning-.)
If you drink? Don’t take meds at the same time it’s just not good.
Make sure you check the dosages on your pill bottles. No one wants to accidentally overdose on cough syrup or ibuprofen.
If you have a uterus make sure you have a heating pad and ibuprofen on hand for the pain. Hot baths also generally help and Ginger Tea is excellent for any nausea.
Buy a first aid kit. It’s worth it in the long run.
You can often do your taxes online at places like TurboTax.
Petroleum jelly (aka Vaseline) is good for chapped lips and you can get a decent sized tube or tub of it (generic brand version) for cheaper/same price as Chapstick.
KEEP TRIPLE ANTIBIOTIC OINTMENT IN YOUR HOUSE FOR CUTS AND SCRAPES AND SORES.
~~Medications~~
Over the counter medications (stuff you can buy right off the shelf no prescription needed) have a name brand and a generic name. ALWAYS buy generic if it’s available it is literally the same thing and way cheaper usually.
Some names to remember when you’re looking for meds!
Acetaminophen = Tylenol
Used to treat pain and reduce fever. Do not take with Ibuprofen.
Ibuprofen = Advil, Midol, Motrin
Used for pain and fever, is an anti-inflammtory. Is good for period cramps because it is an NSAID (non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drug).
Naproxen = Aleve, Naprosyn
Treats fever, pain, arthritis pain, gout, period cramps, tendinitis, headache, backache, and toothache. Is also an NSAID.
Acetaminophen + Asprin + Caffeine = Excedrin
Usually marketed as “Migraine Relief” as a generic.
Asprin = Bayer
Use for pain, fever, arthritis, and inflammation. Makes you bleed easily so should not be used for periods. Might reduce risk of heart attacks.
Triple Antibiotic Ointment = Neosporin
Used on cuts, sores, and scrapes to reduce risk of infection and promote healing.
Also a general mutli-vitamin isn’t a bad idea and if you don’t get a lot of fruits or milk/sunshine in your diet you might want to get vitamins C and D specifically for daily use.
if you do accidentally lapse and put dawn in your dishwasher, run it empty and put hair conditioner where the detergent goes. that’ll clean it out (tip given to me by dorm custodian when roommate did the thing).
if you live off ramen, add stuff to it! add veggies you like, don’t use the whole flavor packet to cut down on sodium and msg or don’t use it at all and add your own spices.
if you’re making something with potatoes in it (beans, stew) potatoes are done when you can easily stab a fork through them.
you can microwave a hotdog as long as you put it in a microwave safe container of water. microwaves work by making water molecules vibrate. also, when reheating rice leftovers, add a small amount of water, like maybe a spoonfull, so it doesn’t get hard and crunchy.
the rice cooking advice above is for long grain rice. if you’re making short or medium grain rice, a 1:1 ratio (one cup water for one cup rice) is better, so the rice doesn’t come out too mushy.
buy a few cans of chicken. wholesale club stores like sam’s, costco, or bj’s tend to carry multipacks for a good price. they’re incredibly useful for when you forget to defrost meat.
buy meat on sale and put it in the freezer. buy vegetables on sale, and put them in the freezer. frozen veggies are often as flavorful and good as fresh ones, keep longer, and often come in microwaveable bags or with microwave directions.
soak ink stains in milk to help get them out or at least lighten them.
soak blood stains in water as soon as possible, with a bit of detergent or stain remover. scrub at them. use cold water, heat binds proteins to fabric. tbh, there’s no real need to change the washer from cold-cold setting unless the thing you’re washing says to wash in warm water.
acetone, found in most nail polish removers, dissolves super glue.
YOU’RE ALL DOING GOD’S WORK BLESS YOU
Takes pictures, have prints made and put them in photo albums. Be IN the pictures, have someone take pictures of you and your friends. Get over not looking perfect in thw picture. Someday that friend might be gone and those pictures might be all you’ll have, you will want to be in them. I made that mistake with my best friend, i always felt weird asking for a picture together… he died of cancer January of 2014 and now i have no pictures of us together. Its my only regret in life.
This is really helpful, thank you all!
I’m the newest of new adults but I’m gonna throw these little tips in there. IF YOU HAVE AN OLD CAR:
-coolant or water if your car overheats (coolant is preferable cause it won’t hurt the engine in the long run but hey i know money is tight)
-flashlight in case you break down at night and need to check under the hood and your phone is dead
-SPARE TIRE.
-jumper cables.you will at some point leave your lights on. you just will.
AAA or any other road side service is never a bad investment i swear. (try to mooch it off your parents as long as you can though)
Know how to change a tire. You’re going to need to do it at some point in time and you can’t always rely on someone else to do it for you.
Don’t be afraid to go to your local food bank. They are there for a reason.
Don’t be ashamed to ask for help period. Life is hard, everyone needs help occasionally.
You can put a LOWER wattage bulb in a lamp that says it’s for a higher one, but don’t put a HIGHER wattage bulb in. Also, watts refer to the amount of electricity used. LUMENS refers to the amount of light put out, and can vary quite a bit between brands, even though the wattage is the same. Look for the one with the highest lumens unless you actually want a slightly dimmer bulb in a certain location.
Those dollar store batteries? Fine if they’re alkaline. “Heavy-duty” batteries, however, won’t last nearly as long.
You can microwave a hot dog and bun simply by wrapping them in a toweling for a minute, less if you don’t want them scalding hot.
Reblogging to save lives.
Two adulting (kitchen-related) tips from me!
1. Buy a roll of parchment paper from the cooking shit aisle. A big roll will last you for-fucking-ever. Pretty much any time you’re using a baking pan you can line it with that stuff and save yourself A: food sticking to the pan and B: it’s a quick rinse and it’s clean.
2. Bread can get fucking expensive, so make your own. A bigass bag of flour and a bag of active dry yeast (store it in the friiiiidge!!!) works out a FUCK of a lot cheaper than buying bread at the store, and you can do so much more with it. Bread, pizza, rolls, cinnibuns, homemade pizza pockets. It seems intimidating but it’s stupid easy.
Seriously. It’s stupid simple to make, and most of the “3 hours” to make it is sitting around surfing the internet or doing whatever the fuck you want while the dough rises. If you have an afternoon free once a week to sit and play video games or surf the net, you have the time to make your own bread on the cheap. Here’s my simple-as-fuck recipe:
2 ¼ teaspoons active dry yeast (You can buy a bag of this stuff CHEAP in bulk stores, the little packets are hella stupid priced) 1 cup warm water (think a hot bath) 1 ½ teaspoons sugar 2 tablespoons oil (any kind works for the most part) 2 ¼ cups flour 1 teaspoon salt
1. Stir the yeast, water, sugar, and oil up in a bowl. Let it sit for about 10 minutes. It will foam up VERY high, this is the yeast getting happy! If it doesn’t get all foamy, the water may have been too hot or not hot enough. Remember, Yeast is alive! Treat it like a nice girlfriend!
2. Mix your flour, salt, and the yeast concoction up in a bowl.
3. Knead that shit for about 5 minutes. It will start sticky as heck, but will come together into a nice dough. If it’s still super sticky, toss in a bit more flour. Here’s how to knead it:
4. Put your dough in a covered, lightly oiled bowl and leave it someplace warmish for an hour. At that point it will have roughly doubled in size, give it a gentle punch to release the gasses that have built up inside. Cover it again and let it sit for a bit longer.
Boom. You have bread dough. Here are some baking times and uses for ya:
Optional egg-wash: Just crack an egg into a bowl, add a pinch of salt, and mix the bejeebus out of it with a fork. Brush (or if you’re like me, goop it on with said fork) that shit thinly on bread before baking for a nice crust.
Pizza: Stretch it on a pan, stab the fucker all over with a fork, add toppings, bake 425*F 15-20 minutes.
Bread Sticks: Make snake-shapes, let rest on pan 10-ish minutes, bake 400*F 10-20 minutes.
Dinner rolls: Make ball-sized (yes those balls) balls. Place on greased pan, let rest 10-20 minutes to rise. Egg-wash and bake 375*F 25 minutes.
Bread: Lightly score (cut) the top, let sit for 20-ish minutes on/in whatever you’re using to bake it, egg-wash, bake at 375*F for 20-ish minutes. It’s done when it sounds hollow if you knock on the bottom.
You bet your ass you can deep-fry this shit for cheapie yeast doughnuts. Roll that shit in sugar or dip it in whatever, it’s fucking tasty.
Bagels: YES. YOU. CAN. Form bagel-shapes out of the dough and boil them in salty water for about 2 minutes. Egg-wash them and bake them at 400*F for 10 minutes.
Cinnamon Rolls: Roll that shit out into a rectangle. Brush it with a mix of butter, cinnamon, sugar, and a pinch of salt (no exact amounts here, do it to your taste). Roll it up into a log, and cut it into discs. Let them sit 20 minutes in a pan and then bake at 375*F 15-17 minutes.
You can add whatever you want to the dough for some variety, just if it’s dried spices remember you really only need 1-ish tablespoons. I personally like making bread with about 1 tablespoon of dill in the dough. Roll it out flat, sprinkle it with cheddar, roll it into a log, squeeze the ends shut, and bake it like a regular loaf of bread. Cheesy dill bread OMNOMNOM.
*ahem* That got a bit long. But yeah. Bread’s expensive, yo. Save your wallet.
(Also it’s ridiculous amounts of therapeutic to bake, for me anyway)
Being able to bake your own bread is pretty awesome, if you got the time for it.
Reblogging in case of independence
this is an odd one, but when you can, buy multipacks of white t-shirts. i wear them every day; when they get dirty, just put some bleach in the washwater and they come out looking great. they’re comfortable, you always look neat, and when they finally wear out they make great cleaning rags. when you’re cooking, wear an apron or something old to save your clothes. shower before bed at night rather than in the morning; it keeps your sheets cleaner longer.
schedule part of your day, but not the whole thing. having an anchor point to pivot your time around will make you both more efficient and more relaxed.
whether it’s a hot shower, that first cup of coffee, reading over lunch, meditation at bedtime, whatever works for you, find something that centers you and don’t let anyone’s demands crowd it out of your day. i know you’re way too busy, even more busy than we of gen x were at your age, and it’s not your fault, but it’s still what’s on your plate to deal with, so make sure you have that daily sanity check.
always be learning something. once you’re out of school, no one’s cramming it down your throat anymore, but you still want to keep your brain busy. even if it’s just following NASA’s tumblr, make sure you’re getting fresh information regularly.
don’t burn out on caring about things you can’t personally change. activism is good, but having the world on your shoulders won’t help anyone. don’t marinate in outrage and bad news. pick a cause and focus. when you hear bad things outside your cause, give yourself permission to leave that work to others; you have your work to do, trust them to do theirs.
have a pet. even if it’s just a snail or a guppy, have a living thing to take care of. it helps you understand how important you are.
There’s nothing free about non-commitment rooted in intimacy avoidance. There’s nothing free about polyamory emanating from unresolved trauma history. There’s nothing free about wanderlust sourced in relational terror. Being a ‘free spirit’ has its place- as part of the exploration of self, other, ways of being- but if it’s emanating from woundedness, it’s just another prison. Our defenses can trick us into believing that our hunger for freedom is fundamental to our soul’s imprint, but it’s often something else. It’s often an ungrounded flight of fancy, a delay tactic, a hide and seek game we are playing with our pain. If we avoid closeness, we can fool ourselves into believing that we have healed. But it only works for so long. Because we aren’t healed, and the remnants of our unresolved pain will show up everywhere. Simply put, we are wounded in close relationship, and some part of our healing has to happen in close relationship. There’s no way around it. The best way to free ourselves from pain-body prison is to learn how to trust again.
Professionals have standards. Be polite. Be efficient. Have a plan to kill everyone you meet.
Always have a plan. Always. And never tell a soul. 🙂
Damn.
Making notes…
This thread is unreadable to my ancient eyes, but is thankfully archived [ HERE ].
Have a free transcription:
what is the evilest thing you’ve ever done in a game?
“… A buddy of mine went off to college a few years back and ended up sharing an apartment style res with four other gamers. At first they were pretty cool guys, until I was invited to game with them. The entire lot of them were THAT guys, playing anthromorphic characters, being chaotic randum, one player had a custom made vampire race that was stupidly OP and only had a LA of +1. Shit had to stop and I knew that it was my duty to stop it. I played a LE human wizard who specialized in the creation of magical items, his character concept was that wealth was often equal to power and what better way to make cash on the up and up then by creating and selling gear catered to adventurers and the elites. Another quirk of his was that he kept a grimoire on him in which he wrote the names of those he and the party had slain, if a name was unavailable he would write a brief description, approximate age, and location of death. Whenever they’d stop in a major city he would copy the most recent additions and deliver it to the mortuaries, as an act of respect to the dead. I actually made this book in RL, and filled it out after every fight.I went full out on this guy and regularly made the parties equipment for ¾ of the cost it would have taken them to buy it, often giving discounts if it suited both of our needs for them to have the better gear.
My only stipulation was that my loot be kept on me, and not with the parties funds.
By the end of the campaign I was several levels under the party but had a huge stockpile of gold saved up to buy a nice island somewhere and live the good life. We finish off an evil draco lich that was bent on world domination and are about to go our seperate ways when the party barbarian stops my character and demands that I give them back the gold they paid for their equipment or he would kill and take it from me. I tried to reason with the rest of the party but they were all being greedy fucktards, It was four vs 1 and I wasn’t allowed spells from outside the phb, so none of the fantastic bullshit of celerity could save me, and the barbarian would unquestionably beat me on initiative if it got to combat. Resigned to my fate I did the only thing I could do, and spoke to them one last time.
“Lalilulelo” Our clerics armor suddenly burst into sunlight, the barbarians weapon animated and began to attack him, while his armor locked in place freezing him on the spot. The rogue was disintegrated on the spot as his gear spontaneously blasted him with magical rays.
Within a round the party was dead or incapacitated, save for my character, who calmly approached the frozen barbarian as he was hacked apart by his own weapon, pulled out his book and flipped to one of the first entries. As I described this I pulled out my copy of the book, and did the same, turning it so that the rest of the table could see where there names had been scrawled on the day I had met them.
“There was never any doubt in this outcome. I knew your greed would overwhelm you and took the necessary measures to stop you when it did. Perhaps if you had simply let me go things wouldn’t have gone just as planned.”
The table just kinda stared at me in silence. I didn’t play a very talkative role in the campaign, and usually kept what I did separate from the party pretty brief. They hadn’t even known my alignment, as my evil deeds were usually of the subtle sort, such as unfair contracts and manipulating the party into doing what I had planned. After the final fight I gathered the loot from the dracolich’s hoard, including the materials and instructions required to make a phylactery of my own. The campaign ended with my character getting the credit for saving the continent and being lauded as a hero, the others were quickly forgotten, as I claimed that they had fallen under the influence of the dracolich and been destroyed. The only legacy they left were their names scrawled in my book.”
Smug self-delighted players who get a kick out of being pointlessly nasty because ‘it’s just a game’ are the worst. Like dude. Bro. Your power fantasy says things about you.
I’ve been lucky to have never had one of these dolts in a group with me, the worst i had to deal with was a nerdlich who repeatedly bragged that with his stats he could “Beat Belldandy” (lol) but I’d welcome them if someone like OP was also there. Dat payoff.
just moving along like everyone else 