Lately it occurred to me that, in all the “Humans are Weird/Great/Space Orcs” genre of posts I’ve seen, I haven’t seen any yet that deal with the relatively low level of sex-related morphological difference in human bodies, compared to other species. Like, things as simple as the length of a particular human’s hair, or the pitch of their voice, or their vocabulary can confuse other humans, with brains evolved to analyze these differences, as to the sex of said particular human. History is filled with examples of men and women posing as the other through the simple expedients of clothing and grooming. For that matter, history is filled with examples of people assigned male or female at birth living as the other through the same expedients. And then there’s all the complexities of gender presentation and identity. And then there’s all the ways environment mucks up conventional “gender differences”. And then there’s the obvious fact that, the minute technology allows humans a new way to experiment with gender and sexual anatomy, they jump at it.
I think, ironically, aliens might end up being better at just referring to people as they wish to be referred to if only because, to them, all humans look basically alike and it’s just easier to ask each person and stick with what you’re told. I’d imagine they’d view all the gender-enforcement common to some human societies as being pretty ridiculous and impenetrable.
I love them so much because they’re about as sharp as a baseball and their anatomy is ridiculous to the point of them literally being classified as plankton for years because they just sort of get blown around by the ocean and look confused, but because they lay more eggs than ANY OTHER VERTEBRATE IN EXISTENCE, evolution can’t stop them
Why is no big predator coming and gnawing on them?
Their biggest defense is that they’re massive and have super tough skin, but they do get hunted by sharks or sea lions sometimes and they just sort of float there like ‘oh bother’ as it happens
Even funnier, because they eat nothing but jellyfish they’re really low in nutritional value anyway, so they basically survive by being not worth eating because they’re like a big floating rice cracker wrapped in leather.
Perfect example of “survival of the fittest” NOT meaning being some hyper aggressive, muscular manly asshole. This creature fell upon the complete opposite combination of traits and just rolled with it and evolution was like “well, it’s working, somehow".
reminder that this is what they look like when they hatch and they are smaller than a housefly
…..But they reach up to 800 pounds in barely over ONE YEAR.
One year omfg are you fucking serious I didn’t know that
it looks like someone dropped a lentil how does it gain that much weight eating jellyfish
As an ichthyologist (someone who studies fish, I’m about to get my masters degree and move on to my PhD), I feel I need to respond to these sort of posts about Molids. I don’t want to ruin anyones fun, but it’s become a pretty common joke to talk about how ridiculous Mola mola are and how “they’re a freak of evolution that somehow works cause they lay billions of eggs” when in reality, they are actually very complex fish that are just as valid as any other. I’ll link sources below.
They belong to the order Tetraodontiformes, which contains other fishes commonly described as weird like pufferfish, triggerfish, and boxfish. When you look at the Mola mola in a phylogenetic context, its actually not that strange as its very similar to its relatives. The name “Tetraodontiformes” means four-teeth, and so like the puffers and triggers, molas have 4 fused crushing teeth, hence the small funny mouth. This group is also known for their peculiar swimming methods. Almost all the members of this order use their dorsal and anal fins for propulsion (balisthiforme locomotion) rather than their caudal fin. In the Molas case, its caudal fin has been reduced to a rudder essentially, properly called a clavus. Look up videos of this guys relatives swimming and it wont be so strange it lacks a proper caudal fin, especially look at triggerfish.
To address the jokes about them just floating around and eating only jellyfish, this may actually only be half true. Very little is known about their feeding habits, but they appear to be more likely omnivores. They feed on any floating gelatinous zooplankton, but have have also been found with squid, fish, crab, and eelgrass in their stomachs and have been found to take squid baited hooks, though we don’t know if this is because of the squid or light lures. Also remember another large animal does the same thing – leatherback sea turtles are gelantinous zooplanktivores too, and equally massive.
As for their swimming, these fish are actually powerful swimmers with many records of them breaching and jumping high into the air. See the video to see one taking off. They are also travelers, making regular forays into the ocean deep and out-swimming currents as they migrate. We only know them from when they swim up from the deep to get rid of parasites and warm themselves, which is when I’d be pretty lazy too. There is a great deal we don’t know about these fishes, but they are far from simple giant heads, they represent an interesting evolutionary turn in nature with a unique morphology that natural selection helped create.
Lastly, I’d like to address the concept that these are large, unintelligent creatures. This is partially based on my opinion and personal experience diving, but Tetraodontiforme fishes are some of the most curious and intelligent fishes I know of. Aquarists around the world have recognized this as well, especially in triggerfishes. The same is likely true for Molas, these are some of the most evolutionarily derived fishes in the world that exhibit complex behaviors like recognizing that they can bask and seagulls will pick off their parasites.
TLDR: These are complex fishes that we still barely understand, but they are actually powerful swimmers who can migrate, regularly make deep sea dives, exhibit complex behavior and may actually be omnivores. Please stop portraying them as freaks of nature because these images can negatively affect conservation efforts for animals. Being seen as useless is just as dangerous for conservation as is being thought of as dangerous. These guys are regular bycatch by fishing boats and may already be in danger.
Sources: If you can’t open the pdfs, message me and I’ll send you a copy.
TY FOR THE INFO AAAA I’m not at all a fish expert and I appreciate you taking the time, I had no idea they could actually breach the surface that’s amazing holy shit. Imagine not knowing what a sunfish is and seeing that??
It’s amazing how little we know about species like this that are so big or commonplace for some people? It’s similar for amphibians, which are what I know more about rofl. We have salamanders in Georgia that are totally undocumented, some of them we’ve had documented for years and we just have no idea how long they live or what they eat etc because it hasn’t been studied.
That being said I hope it’s clear that me saying they’re ridiculous fish is in the same way I make fun of frogs; They’re adapted very well for their environment and things like ‘freakish’ or ‘useless’ are entirely baseless judgements because it’s based entirely on our perception of what’s average/useful and not the reality. Their adaptations are very beneficial because they’ve carved out a niche in their environments that no other fish have and that’s pretty amazing. They’re extremely cool fish!
Frogs are also amazingly well adapted, sensitive, and very important, and when I’m pointing and laughing at mola molas for looking perpetually surprised or desert rain frogs for looking like ping pong balls that grew legs I hope it’s obvious that it’s because I find them endearing and love them and not because my making fun of them is serious.
how could anyone not love these mysterious sideways children
(If you have time, is it known how they grow so quickly?? I’ve been thinking about it all day, they must know something to eat that gives them the nutrients needed to grow so quickly but I can’t imagine what. Also have you gotten to see them in the wild? I always wondered if they acknowledged humans like whales or dolphins do, or if they sort of ignore us)
I was at my cousin’s house for a family barbecue and she shushed us all bc her neighbor ‘The Captain’ was walking by with a dog, and he was just some skinny guy with a long ponytail and a captain’s hat walking an irish wolfhound so we all like ‘what’s the big deal’ but she told us to wait and then like ten minutes later he passed again on his way back to his house but he just…had a different dog. it was like a cocker spaniel. she said every day he leaves the house with the wolfhound and comes back with the tiny dog and she’s never seen them get returned either way. she can never find out where he walks to. shes been watching him for years. my family was freaking the fuck out one of my other cousins looked like he was about to have an aneurysm.
So I just did a post about how I manage my time and my daily schedule and such, and I felt like this part is really important and was getting lost in the minutiae of my day, so I made it a separate post. I was talking about various ways in which my life is not necessarily “normal”, like how I go to bed at 7:30, which people treat as one of my eccentricities, and rightly so. But while it is weird it speaks to the crux of my life philosophy, which I’ve spoken about before as regards dealing with anon hate:
My time and attention are finite resources and they have a value I can bestow where I wish. If something is not necessary to survive, does not solve a problem, or does not provide joy, I stop doing it.
I pay my bills and do my dishes and wash my clothes because you have to do those things. I engage in activism and try to stay current on the news because I believe I have a moral duty to contribute to society, and I run because it’s good for my heart and my body. I have friendships, engage in fandom, play the ukulele, write, go to concerts and movies and art galleries because it brings me joy to do so.
Going to bed early solves a problem for me: I wasn’t doing anything useful with that time anyway, I wasn’t enjoying myself or feeling happy. If I wasn’t getting any benefit from that time, how could I put it to better use? Sleeping is beneficial, so I tried that, and it worked; I get more sleep and I don’t miss anything I can’t catch up with. Work doesn’t make me especially happy or fulfill me in ways we could all wish, but that’s okay. Work is necessary to survive, so I do it. I don’t date much because I tried dating semi-recently and the promise of future joy did not outweigh the lack of joy that dating itself brought to my life; it was painful, ugly, and boring, and so I stopped doing it.
The dating thing may change in the future, if eventually the promise of a relationship becomes more enticing, but it’s an example of how the pursuit of happiness is non-standard, and you are allowed to weigh the cost against the payoff based on your own personal feelings, not on society’s dictates. Because it turns out when you are doing what makes you happy, when you feel joy, you could give two shits about what everyone else thinks should make you happy.
Sometimes, what brings me joy is sitting on the couch listening to a podcast I’ve already heard ten times and playing a stupid mindless flash game; I often catch myself thinking “I could be doing something more useful, something cooler, something more active” and remind myself “But this is making me happy, and it’s what I’m capable of doing right now.”
“Does this make me happy” or, if you’re struggling with happiness, “Does this calm and soothe me” is a great metric for what you should be doing in life when you are on your own time. It’s a good way to check in with yourself and lead yourself towards a more fulfilling life on your own terms.
If you are out at a bar with friends, stop and ask, does this make me happy? Because there is no way in which asking that does not help. If being at a bar doesn’t make you happy and if it’s the only time you see your friends, maybe it’s time for a change; you are now free to pursue something that will make you happy. If being at a bar doesn’t make you happy but your friends do, and this is one way to bond with them of many, then it’s a cost with a later benefit, and you’ve now become conscious that while you aren’t happy right this minute, you are paying into future joy. And if you like being out at a bar with friends and are having a good time, then you’ve reaffirmed to yourself that you are happy and this is where you want to be. And affirming that you are feeling joy is a great thing to do.
You don’t have to be happy all the time – but on your own time, when work and chores and the duties of the day are done, you should devote yourself to finding joy in whatever form that takes, be it a nap or a party or a date or your kids or, I don’t know, watching people make fake food on YouTube.
Believing that your time and attention have value and should only be bestowed on the worthy means coming to believe that you have value, which is so hard to do that I’ll take any shortcut I can get. Devoting your time time and attention only to what is necessary or what is pleasurable means learning a great deal about what you value, and I truly believe leads you to a more fulfilled life.
So when people ask me about time management, I have real tips and tricks to offer – but I think the most important think I can offer is the suggestion that whatever time you have, you should believe it has value because it is yours, and you should direct it appropriately.
(for those not getting the ITIA SOTW, Kiro had a conversation with Parent at that dinner he had to hang up on David for, this conversation being witnessed by one Ulf Larsson)
In the briefest terms it can be summed up as this:
(obviously not verbatim)
Kiro: “I have been told a story, I suspect you are familiar with this story, I also suspect you are the least likely to give me the runaround on this”
Armand: “…I hate Lourdes.”
Kiro: “Can you confirm or deny that you were told of a romantic relationship between (1) Jacob Lourdes and (1) Davidson Chapman?”
Armand: “…Confirm.”
Kiro: “Are you aware if this was told without the express permission of said Davidson Chapman?”
Armand: “Fuck my life…yes, I am fairly sure it was not a conversation Chapman approved of.”
Kiro: “Is this the cause of the dissolution of the relationship between Jacob Lourdes and Davidson Chapman?”
Armand: “…I believe so.”
Kiro: “Has Jacob Lourdes mentioned anything regarding Davidson Chapman since this incident?”
Armand: “…Yes.”
Kiro: “Did this at any point involve the name of Kirill Volkov?”
Armand: “Yes. Also fuck this entire conversation.”
Kiro: “Was the name Kirill Volkov mentioned as a potential romantic partner to Davidson Chapman?”
Armand: “…not in so many words.”
Kiro: “But basically.”
Armand: “Basically, yes.”
Kiro: “Those are all my questions, your Honour.”
There is no escape. You can’t be a vagabond and an artist and still be a solid citizen, a wholesome, upstanding man. You want to get drunk, so you have to accept the hangover. You say yes to the sunlight and pure fantasies, so you have to say yes to the filth and the nausea. Everything is within you, gold and mud, happiness and pain, the laughter of childhood and the apprehension of death. Say yes to everything, shirk nothing. Don’t try to lie to yourself. You are not a solid citizen. You are not a Greek. You are not harmonious, or the master of yourself. You are a bird in the storm. Let it storm! Let it drive you! How much have you lied! A thousand times, even in your poems and books, you have played the harmonious man, the wise man, the happy, the enlightened man. In the same way, men attacking in war have played heroes, while their bowels twitched. My God, what a poor ape, what a fencer in the mirror man is— particularly the artist— particularly myself!
just moving along like everyone else 