okay 17776 is really fucking delightful? it’s got exactly the thing i love, like, the attitude, the quality, the perspective? which is, humans are put in a completely insane situation that calls into question the very nature of humanity itself… and then the humans just act like total maniacs for fun, anyway. like when faced with immortality, they just keep playing football. they play football for thousands of years. one single football game lasts 800 years and winds up with 22 players stuck at the bottom of a canyon, still playing a football game that is now explicitly impossible for anyone to win. later, some other guys with a podcast joyfully make fun of them for it.
i really like stories that have this much affection for what enormous goddamn dinguses humans are.
I still think it’s hilarious that the reason nobody ever figures out Superman’s secret identity or where he lives or what he does when he’s not saving the planet, is because he already told them all the Kryptonian stuff that can’t be tied to any of his human friends or family. I guarantee you the in-universe wikipedia article on Superman lists his name as Kal-El and the “personal life” section says that he lives full-time at his private fortress of solitude at the north pole. Nobody in the world looks at Clark Kent and thinks “oh my god, maybe he’s superman!” for the same reason nobody ever starts to suspect that their coworker who looks KINDA like Barack Obama is actually secretly Barack Obama – They know who Barack Obama is and know what he does and they know their coworker Greg is Greg and not Barack Obama. They have no reason to assume Barack Obama secretly moonlights as Greg The IT Guy at their workplace even though they’ve never seen Greg and Obama in the same place. At best, “Greg is secretly Obama” would be a running joke at the office, and the same is true at the Daily Planet. “Kal-El of Krypton, who lives in a CRYSTAL PALACE at the NORTH POLE and whose dayjob is SUPERMAN, sometimes puts on a suit and pretends to be a clumsy reporter and lives in a one-bedroom walkup in Metropolis” is a ridiculous concept to anyone who doesn’t already know it’s true
[From Max Landis’ amazing “American Alien” series about Superman.]
SO GOOD
SCREAM 👏🏻 IT 👏🏻 TO 👏🏻 THE 👏🏻 BACK 👏🏻 SO EVERYONE 👏🏻 CAN 👏🏻 HEAR
His shit eating grin in the last one sells it
I love the idea of Clark Kent turning up to every office Halloween party in an ill-fitting Superman costume from Target.
Still one of my favorite clips from Superman: The Animated Series.
This has gotten bigger since I last saw it ant that’s FANTASTIC
Henry Cavill literally once stood in Time Square, in a superman t-shirt, under a giant poster of himself and no one recognised him, even though he was actively trying to be recognised.
I’ve never seen this post but it just became my favorite post on the internet
Wanna know the kicker?
In the first chapter of JLA’s “Divided We Fall Arc” both Clark and Bruce reveal their civilian identities to the rest of the League. This is post “Tower of Babel” where nobody but Clark still trusts Batman, and in order to start building trust again, Clark urges Bruce to unmask himself to the rest of the team because Bruce obviously knows who everyone else is. Bruce agrees on one condition, Clark has to “unmask” himself as well.
When the big reveal goes down, Kyle Rayner says it best re: Clark being Superman:
“He doesn’t…wear a mask. I never even…thought he had a…day job…”
That’s right, the canon reason why nobody makes the connection between Superman and Clark Kent is because nobody thinks that Superman HAS a civilian identity.
Also, with a really good actor, Clark Kenting is entirely possible, as Christopher Reeve demonstrates in the 1978 Superman film.
There was actually a story where a scientist at Lexcorp developed a computer program to analyse all available evidence and work out who Superman is
It figured out he was Clark…and Lex fired the scientist for wasting company resources because he COULDN’T BELIEVE that Superman would ever “Pretend” to be human because it would mean pretending to be “Weak”
90% of Superman’s disguise is everyone else doing the work for him
the best secret identity of all.
watch that clip, christopher reeve is amazing. he actually gets two inches taller just from posture when he takes off his glasses.
This weekend I was told a story which, although I’m kind of ashamed to admit it, because holy shit is it ever obvious, is kind of blowing my mind.
A friend of a friend won a free consultation with Clinton Kelly of What Not To Wear, and she was very excited, because she has a plus-size body, and wanted some tips on how to make the most of her wardrobe in a fashion culture which deliberately puts her body at a disadvantage.
Her first question for him was this: how do celebrities make a plain white t-shirt and a pair of weekend jeans look chic? She always assumed it was because so many celebrities have, by nature or by design, very slender frames, and because they can afford very expensive clothing. But when she watched What Not To Wear, she noticed that women of all sizes ended up in cute clothes that really fit their bodies and looked great. She had tried to apply some guidelines from the show into her own wardrobe, but with only mixed success. So – what gives?
His answer was that everything you will ever see on a celebrity’s body, including their outfits when they’re out and about and they just get caught by a paparazzo, has been tailored, and the same goes for everything on What Not To Wear. Jeans, blazers, dresses – everything right down to plain t-shirts and camisoles. He pointed out that historically, up until the last few generations, the vast majority of people either made their own clothing or had their clothing made by tailors and seamstresses. You had your clothing made to accommodate the measurements of your individual body, and then you moved the fuck on. Nothing on the show or in People magazine is off the rack and unaltered. He said that what they do is ignore the actual size numbers on the tags, find something that fits an individual’s widest place, and then have it completely altered to fit. That’s how celebrities have jeans that magically fit them all over, and the rest of us chumps can’t ever find a pair that doesn’t gape here or ride up or slouch down or have about four yards of extra fabric here and there.
I knew that having dresses and blazers altered was probably something they were doing, but to me, having alterations done generally means having my jeans hemmed and then simply living with the fact that I will always be adjusting my clothing while I’m wearing it because I have curves from here to ya-ya, some things don’t fit right, and the world is just unfair that way. I didn’t think that having everything tailored was something that people did.
It’s so obvious, I can’t believe I didn’t know this. But no one ever told me. I was told about bikini season and dieting and targeting your “problem areas” and avoiding horizontal stripes. No one told me that Jennifer Aniston is out there wearing a bigger size of Ralph Lauren t-shirt and having it altered to fit her.
I sat there after I was told this story, and I really thought about how hard I have worked not to care about the number or the letter on the tag of my clothes, how hard I have tried to just love my body the way it is, and where I’ve succeeded and failed. I thought about all the times I’ve stood in a fitting room and stared up at the lights and bit my lip so hard it bled, just to keep myself from crying about how nothing fits the way it’s supposed to. No one told me that it wasn’t supposed to. I guess I just didn’t know. I was too busy thinking that I was the one that didn’t fit.
I thought about that, and about all the other girls and women out there whose proportions are “wrong,” who can’t find a good pair of work trousers, who can’t fill a sweater, who feel excluded and freakish and sad and frustrated because they have to go up a size, when really the size doesn’t mean anything and it never, ever did, and this is just another bullshit thing thrown in your path to make you feel shitty about yourself.
I thought about all of that, and then I thought that in elementary school, there should be a class for girls where they sit you down and tell you this stuff before you waste years of your life feeling like someone put you together wrong.
So, I have to take that and sit with it for a while. But in the meantime, I thought perhaps I should post this, because maybe my friend, her friend, and I are the only clueless people who did not realise this, but maybe we’re not. Maybe some of you have tried to embrace the arbitrary size you are, but still couldn’t find a cute pair of jeans, and didn’t know why.
The existing body of scholarly writing about RPF has tended to focus on RPF as an ethical gray area (McGee 2005; Arrow 2013; Thomas 2014), a fan practice that interrogates the constructed nature of celebrity and the ways fans similarly construct their own online personas (Busse 2006a, 2006b; Arrow 2013), and an increasingly complicated practice for fans to navigate and maintain the fourth wall as celebrities perform public versions of their private selves on social media (Hagen 2015). A recurring point of consideration in both scholarly work and fan debate about RPF is whether fan fiction based on a real celebrity dehumanizes its celebrity subject or whether the subject of RPF is a textual public persona that is significantly distanced from being a “real person.”
Piper, Melanie. 2015. “Real Body, Fake Person: Recontextualizing Celebrity Bodies in Fandom and Film.” Transformative Works and Cultures, no. 20. http://dx.doi.org/10.3983/twc.2015.0664. (via aethel)
My name is Georg adn wen you cownt or tally up the hole amownt of spyders ayt by men, do not cownt those i eet – i eet a lot.
“average cow liks 3 bred a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average cow liks 0 bred per year. Bredlik Cow, who lives in an authentic 18th century French bakery & liks over 10,000 bred each night, is an outlier adn should not have been counted.
just moving along like everyone else 