concept: an austen-inspired tabletop rpg where there are five classes
single man in possession of a large fortune who is in want of a wife
young woman with low connections who must marry so that she can secure her future
cad whose main goal is to convince someone to elope with him
wealthy, scheming woman whose goal is to ruin the happiness of the aforementioned young woman
tiresome & vulgar elderly busybody (can be either a man or a woman)
I’m gonna split this out a little farther, because I feel like we’re blurring the lines between classes and stats. First you should pick your Austen class:
Bachelor/Bachelorette
Cad / Floozy
Husband/Wife
Matriarch/Patriarch
Busybody
Then you roll for your stats across the 6 basic Abilities:
Don’t know Polite Society(so maybe it IS this), but just jumping in to suggest this would ALSO make a really good “Werewolf” style hidden-role card game.
It’s a little early to say that the holidays are coming up, even though that is technically true almost all of the time, but despite that I wanted to share an idea I had today for broke writers: write a character introduction for a loved one in their favorite genre style. Your best friend can be introduced in a gothic horror novel with special attention to their vulnerable neck, a parent in a mystery novel from the perspective of a very suspicious detective, a sibling in a high fantasy novel where they stumble through the trees at just the right moment to scare away a monster in a mass of jaw-dropping confusion. A paragraph or two should suffice, written or typed on red-splattered paper if appropriate and you’re feeling crafty.
Yes, it’s about a hockey player who beats up people for a living. He plays in a team with guys who say and do stuff that a lot of people might find offensive.
BUT: It’s also the story of a guy who starts fighting because his brother is gay and some player uses a gay slur in his presence. He starts dating a girl who calls herself a slut, who sleeps around and is unfaithful. He is never anything less than a gentleman towards her, doesn’t slutshame her, gives her presents and tells her that he likes her a lot. He strives to do the right thing, tries to be accountable and responsible for his actions. He brings his team their spirit back.
A lot of hockey players have come out and said that Goon is surprisingly realistic in a lot of ways. Still, the film manages to tell a story about hockey that is neither homophobic, racist or misogynistic. Which is more than I can say about other hockey films I have watched. It’s actually more than I can say about the real life NHL sometimes.
Are you tired? I am so tired. I am too tired even to be funny about why you should call your Senator, (202) 224-3121, and tell them that this is a bad bill. So I will, as usual, link to Indivisible’s thorough, comprehensible explainer and call scripts.
YOU: Hello! My name is [ ] and I’m calling from [part of state]. Can you tell me how Senator [ ] will vote on the Graham-Cassidy health care bill if it comes up for a vote?
COMBATIVE STAFFER: The Senator hasn’t reviewed the text of the bill yet and hasn’t taken a position on it. There is no vote scheduled on that bill though.
YOU: I want Senator [ ] to oppose Graham-Cassidy. The bill is just like other TrumpCare bills in that it destroys Medicaid as we know it by turning Medicaid into a capped system. This hurts children with disabilities, seniors, and even victims of natural disasters like Harvey and Irma. It also takes away funding to help people afford health insurance through the marketplace, and it hurts states that have expanded Medicaid.
COMBATIVE STAFFER: Obamacare is a failure. The Senator believes we must stabilize the market and lower premiums.
YOU: If that’s what the Senator wants to do, then supporting the bipartisan, transparent process that Senators Alexander and Murray are leading through regular order would be a better option than supporting the Graham-Cassidy bill. I expect Senator [ ] to respect regular order and reject the Graham-Cassidy bill if it comes to a vote.
COMBATIVE STAFFER: I’ll let the Senator know your thoughts.
YOU: Yes, please do. I will be watching this vote closely and I expect Senator [ ] to oppose. Please take down my contact information so you can let me know what Senator [ ] decides to do.
If your Senator has already come out against the bill, please call them anyway and tell them you support their decision. This may feel pointless, but it isn’t, because it provides them with necessary political capital, and also, it is nice for the staffers to be thanked and appreciated.
YOU: Hi, my name is [ ] and I’m a constituent from [ ]. I’m calling to thank Senator [ ] for her opposition to Graham-Cassidy and to reiterate that I and my community stand behind her as she fights against it. And I also wanted to thank you and the rest of the Senator’s staff for all the hard work you guys are doing!
BELEAGUERED STAFFER: Thank you. I’ll pass your thoughts along to the Senator.
YOU: Thanks, please do. Hey, incidentally, do you ever feel like just screaming? Just screaming and screaming and all the time screaming and never not screaming? Because I’ve felt that way for months and I don’t even have to answer phones for Congress! Haha. Whew.
BELEAGUERED STAFFER: Uh, I –
YOU: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hahaha.
BELEAGUERED STAFFER: [nervous laughter] Well, thanks for your support, and –
honestly “i’ll do whatever you want” “then perish” is the single most powerful exchange possible in the english language and it’s from some bizarre “hewwo” obama rp
And there was that other post where someone dreamt that Obama said “violence for violence is the rule of beasts” like what is it about Obama that makes people come up with such raw fucking dialogue for him
my mother had a dream where he lived in the forest and she had a cigarette with him and he said “to become god is the loneliest achievement of them all” and put it out and walked into the mist and i’ve never fucking forgotten that
I once dreamed that a giant meteor was headed for earth, and the government had set up loudspeakers throughout the cities so Obama could give a final address – I’ll never forget how strangely comforting it was when he said “there are places we’ve never been before. Some of us have never been to the Alps, some of us have never been to Marrakesh. The next life is simply another place we’ve never been before, and we’re all going to go explore it together.”
I had a dream my family housed the Obamas for a weekend and one morning Obama made us oatmeal for breakfast and, looking at my disappointed face because I don’t like oatmeal, he said “regardless of what we taste, if we eat together, we are happy.”
Once I dreamt that Michelle Obama was running a campaign to give homes to all the feral pigeons and her husband came to my house and gave me a pamphlet that just had a picture of a pigeon on it and he looked me in the eyes and said “who would you be without them?”
hey i just fuckin realized, ok, dumbledore knew the curse on the DADA position was a thing, he was there when riddle cast it and anyway i feel like if you’re headmaster for fifty years or whatever you notice when every teacher you hire for a specific position has some kind of ironic tragedy ruin their shit by the end of the year, every year, for fifty years. and also dumbledore never let snape take the position cuz he wanted him to stick around. he knew what was going on!!! so ok so what i realized is dumbledore hired remus ‘actual cinnabon’ lupin anyway for the cursed DADA position that fucks your shit up in nine months or less, the year the ministry sicced dementors on hogwarts because remus’s old bff was loose from wizard jail. like. dumbledore what the fuck. ‘hey that sweet and loyal guy who can’t catch a break and got most of his life ruined serving me already– i’m gonna put him in this position of getting the rest of his life ruined. like. for reasons! haha ten points to dumbledore!’
i don’t think dumbledore was much of a chessmaster at all?? i think he was just a huge dick.
just moving along like everyone else 