As soon as you turn the lights off start masturbating. No monster wants to see that shit. While doing it, stare at the corner and whisper, tenderly, “this is for you”.
And then the shadows growl at you and say, “Mine. You’re all mine.”
Proceed to have a secret relationship with the monster in your closet to make the shadows jealous.
Plot Twist: The Monster wants a threesome with you and the shadows.
one of my friends is a very pregnant dog and like 3 times a day i say to her “hello! you are full of several other smaller dogs!” and she wags her entire body at me like “it’s true!!! i contain multitudes”
i love that ur friend is the pregnant dog. what a nice friend to have.
ya she’s my buddy i love her!
update: there were five (5) smaller dogs inside my dog friend, but now they are all outside of her instead (!!)
Fun statistical fact: Cows are about 300 times more likely to kill you than coyotes.
Minor sidenote to statistical fact: If it was common for people to keep several hundred coyotes on their property and routinely chase them into a corral and handle them, this statistic would be different.
this is a great summary of ‘conditional probability’, a statistical property many people grapple with
those ao3 “kudos” emails where someone has gone through and read pretty much all of your stories, one after the other: blessings upon you and your household
don’t authors find that weird though? i don’t do that, just because i always figured it might seem stalkery, going story by story through people’s older work (which of course i do ~all the time~ because awesome fic is addictive)
if people are happy to have the kudos, i will totally start leaving them as i read
I mean, I can only speak for myself here, but no, I don’t find it creepy. Someone I’ve never met going through my old instagram selfies and systematically liking them – creepy. Someone I’ve never met obsessively reading my old fics and liking them – my favorite person of the day. Just MHO.
seeing the same person’s name on a string of kudos for your fics because they’ve obviously read through your back catalogue is one of life’s great joys
xcziel, there’s nothing I like more as a writer than someone who is obviously reading everything.
Well, maybe comments. Yes, on old fic too.
I once (back on lj) had someone comment on every single chapter of a fic I wrote in one evening. It was the most thrilling night of my fanfic career. I didn’t feel creepy in the least.
COMMENT. I don’t care how old it is or how many chapters a reader comments on.
The only thing that might possibly be more flattering is the “I stayed up all night because I couldn’t stop reading” comment.
Yes, please.
YES ALL OF THIS
all of this
Reblogging because readers somehow still have this idea that too many comments/kudos are seen as creepy or stalkery. IT’S NOT. Seriously. Every comment, all of the kudos, they’re greatly, GREATLY appreciated. And knowing that someone liked your work enough to click on your name and go through your other fics and liked those too, even the old stuff you’re kind of self-conscious about, is the greatest feeling a writer can have. So if you like a fic, say something/leave kudos, no matter if it’s the first or fifth fanfic you’ve read in one night from that author.
I LOVE when I get an email where it’s the same name, like a dozen or more times because they went through and read like, /everything I ever wrote/ apparently. It makes me so happy! 😀
Multiple kudos and/or lots of comments are the best thing ever
Not at all creepy. It’s like, they are reading, get to the end, said they liked it, and Prove they liked it because they read another and liked that…
And yes, it’s just as fun to see this with old stories. Maybe even more?
The other thing that is super nice? When someone comments and says, hey, I tried to kudos but I had already kudos’d so I’m commenting to kudos again because I do that ALL THE TIME. I either forgot I’d read this lovely thing and want to kudos again, or I’m doing a re-read of something and I *want* to kudos again. When it happens to me it’s seriously lovely – someone enjoying your stuff enough that they re-read.
reblogged so fast I sprained something
I know for me especially that while writing just for yourself is great, nothing drains me more from writing than not seeing kudos or comments. If you notice in my writing at least, I get the most inspiration when I see people leaving likes, comments, even tags when they reblog (because I look and read them all).
Please please please leave comments, like, kudo, reblog, everything! No writer thinks this is stalkerish and is in fact one of the highest praises we can receive through this medium. It lets us know that you like it and you want more!! Without it, it may possibly mean we may not even continue it. I know I get like that with several of my multi chapter stories.
Don’t feel like leaving something on every little thing? My absolute favorite thing is when people leave notes in my inbox telling me about how much they love my characters, my voice behind canons, just the fact that they say how much they enjoy what I’ve done! I have kept every little note I have ever gotten and once I get my set up my new desk space, I’m going to print them all out and hang them on my wall so I can read them every day. I’m not kidding! This thing fuels us writers!! In this world, fanfiction is probably one of lowest forms of writing. We don’t get paid. Our payment comes from your feedback and the excitement that you have to keep reading!
IT IS NEVER STALKERISH!
IT LETS US KNOW YOU LOVE US AS MUCH AS WE LOVE YOU FOR READING!
“I’m going to print them all out and hang them on my wall so I can read them every day” – Oooh, that’s such a great idea, I might just have to do it too! *g*
And as someone who’s left those strings of comments, and has received them:
1. There is nothing better than an author who knows they’re appreciated. They often get motivation from it! (do be sure to say what you liked- and saying you’re looking forward to the next chapter after is okay, but ‘update’ often scares us writers and gets us stressed- we’ve got soft heart, pelase be gentle with us).
2. It’s a great way to meet new people! Most of my fandom friends I met through commenting on their stories, or them commenting on mine!
3. It inspires us! I can’t remember how may times I got ideas for sequels or new fics I got because this one person commented something that made me tilt my head and go: what if? And I’ve seen the same happen to other writers!
I once got a comment that was basically two readers chatting back and forth about the chapter I’d just posted as they read it. I don’t think I’ve ever been quite that delighted with a response to my fics.
Those times when I get a string of kudos or comments from a person who liked one fic and decided to hit up the rest of my works… Don’t think anything can compare to that, for a writer. This person has stumbled across my fic, and has sallied forth to read all of it! Because they liked it so much!
Why in the world would that be creepy. Or stalkerish. Stalk all our writing, dear readers, and come scream at us about it in the comments or on Tumblr. It’s humbling, leads to squealing on our part and is massively inspiring all at once.
Observation: I have never broken a bone Hypothesis: I am boneless Data: I appear to have broken at least two bones in my foot slipping on the ice Conclusion: I have at least two bones. Strong evidence suggests the possibility of a third one.
I’m an astrophysicist.
SOMEbody has a broken funny bone.
layperson: there’s a brown cow in that field
scientist: there’s at least one brown cow in that field
mathematician: there’s at least one cow in that field, at least one side of which is brown
Freshman philosopher in “God is: no there isn’t
Socrates: but how do you know it is brown? What is the true nature of brown?
Plato: It is the fundamental nature of fields to contain brown cows.
Aristotle: There is a brown cow in that field. It has more teeth than the black cow.
Pythagoras: The cow doesn’t matter. That is a field of beans and we need to get out of here right now.
Thales: Did you know that cows are 100% water?
Zeno (of Elea (no Citium doesn’t get a place on this list)): To have a cow you must first have half a cow.
Anselm (refusing to look at the field): There is no need to observe the field. The best possible field contains a black horse. Furthermore, the best possible field would be improved by existing, and by being right next to me. Therefore that field over there contains a black horse.
Descartes: there’s a brown cow in that field. I know this because God would never be so cruel as to hide a cow from my sight, or to make a cow appear brown when it is only half so.
Leibniz: I will use that cow to handle I/O and state in a pure manner.
Hobbes: The cow is not attempting to jump the fence, and therefore it consents to being in the field.
Voltaire: That is not the best possible cow.
Hume: no there isn’t
Wittgenstein:
Older Wittgenstein, stepping out of a time machine: This is actually just a problem of language.
Russell: I’m gonna fuck that cow’s wife. It’s okay: I’ve devoted my life to the pursuit of love.
Rousseau: That cow would be better if it was getting torn apart by wolves
Hegel: The World-Spirit is in a state of Becoming/Not-Becoming the State of having been, being, and will always having been a Bovine. The Notion of the cow is a duality of Forces existing/not-existing to Conceive a sense-colour. *wanders off to suck Bismarck’s dick*
Marx: *suplexes Hegel* THAT COW IS ALIENATED FROM ITS NATURAL MILK-MAKING STATE
Heidegger: That cow is dying.
Derrida: *inscrutable scribbles*
Foucault: The “fence” is a social construct, created by the millennia old power structure designed to oppress cows and use them for meat and milk. Is it not just as true that *we* are fenced in by the *cow*?
Sartre: I am also going to fuck that cow’s wife, but only after Simone reels her in for me.
Simone de Beauvoir: What is cow? It is defined by its difference from Man.
Camus: I’m going to fuck that cow, its wife, its parents, the milkmaid, the farmhand, the landowner, his wife, and every other philosopher here. And every single one of them is going to love it. Might kill someone afterwards.
Eliezer: there’s a brown cow in that field, p=0.999
Hanson: This post isn’t about cows or philosophy. It’s about signaling.
Bostrom: The cow is nothing compared to the future of humanity.
Ray Arnold: Someday, cow, you will reach the stars. Here, let me sing you the song of my people.
Kurzweil: in ten seconds, it will become cybercow.
Tegmark: I’m very tall, so I can see that behind that cow is every possible variation of that cow. At least one of them is brown.
Scott: there’s a brown cow in that field, p=0.99. I’m not sure why everyone yells at me when I say that.
Singer: We should save the cow and kill its calves.
MacAskill: there’s a brown cow in that field, and I will save it.
Ord: *saves cow*. Everyone is too busy staring at MacAskill’s dreamy face to notice.
CFAR: pay us $1000 and we’ll teach you how to see the brown cow
Leverage: pay us $10000 and we’ll teach you how to see the black horse
MIRI: That cow is dangerous!
OpenAI: That cow is dangerous, so we’re going to give one just like it to everyone!
@ambivalencerelations: *ignores cow, stares at fence post. There’s some dung at the base*
@cptsdcarlosdevil: I’m gonna pretend that cow is Daveed Diggs, then I’m gonna fuck it.
@sinesalvatorem: I would fuck that cow, but I don’t have enough sharpies.
@theunitofcaring: there’s a brown cow in that field, and we will save it.
@dataandphilosophy: Bryan Caplan told me there’s a cow in that field.
@slatestarscratchpad: there’s a brown cow in that field, p=0.999
@nostalgebraist: there’s a brown cow in that field, but it would be ridiculous to put a number on it. It’s not dangerous either.
@funerealdisease: that cow would look great in this hat.
@gruntledandhinged: there’s an adorable brown cow in that field
@loriphos: The field would be better with a brown dinosaur
@evolution-is-just-a-theorem: What, you think I can’t go more meta? This isn’t even my final form.
i would like to be friends please
You seem like a wise man. Could you explain what it is to be friends?
reckon i’m wise enough to know i can’t explain it 😀
This reminds me a great deal of the time when some people on a religious discussion forum were first exposed to the observation that it is unclear whether the farmer or the dog is named Bingo. Conclusion: After a couple hundred years of violence and bloodshed, we’ve all agreed that Bingo is both fully farmer and fully dog. But what about the part where letters get gradually replaced with clapping?
Catholics believe that the letters are still there when you’re clapping.
Lutherans believe that the letters are still there in spirit when you’re clapping.
Eastern Orthodox still sing all the letters.
etcetera
reblogging this again because this is from Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents and I’m reading it right now and it’s incredibly awkward to read about my entire life’s problems neatly described by a complete stranger
Fuck this is literally meeeeeeee
Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents is right at the top of my psych books list along with Why Does He Do That and Trauma and Recovery.
I literally can’t get myself to sit through movies that don’t have women. I’m like where the fuck are the women? Why are there so many men? This is boring as fuck goodbye
just moving along like everyone else 