me roasting the everloving fuck out of homestuck, as is common in a rather unhealthy blackrom
This is very good and very true. It’s like Hussie just assumed Act 7 would be done in a few months and then when we realized animation takes time he just stalled forever.
OP is also leaving out
* Pre-scratch and post-scratch Jane meet up, but don’t do anything interesting (or even speak onscreen?)
* [S] Cascade ends with the heroes killing the Condesce, who is immortal. The music even turns sinister at the end to call attention to the fact that the Condesce can’t actually die, except nvm she can I guess because the comic’s over.
* Aranea mind-controls all the ghosts to their deaths, and none of the ghosts care about it. Once she dies again and presumably returns to the afterlife she is never seen or mentioned again
* Rose actually complains that she never figured out what “play the rain” even means, let alone did it, and the fact that every’s character arc has fizzled out is lampshaded and handwaved with “real people don’t have character arcs” in a realistic story where half the cast died at least once and all the humans are gods.
* Speaking of missing character arcs, Rose never meets her Denizen. (Neither does Dave, unless you count Davesprite)
* The main four kids never work together, because Jade is asleep the whole climax and, when she does wake up, tries to break up a fight between Bec Noir and some other dog she’s never seen before because she’s literally unaware the final battle is happening and there’s anything more important she could be doing.
* Karkat, the secondary protagonist of the comic, does nothing of importance for the whole of Act 6 and sits the final battle out after his Dream Self is killed as a gag
* It is established that Meulin is being mind controlled by her evil boyfriend. No one notices or cares and it’s never mentioned again.
* It is established that her evil boyfriend is working for Lord English and forcing her to do the same.
No one notices or cares and it’s never mentioned again.
* Damara is also working for Lord English and no one cares.
* This means that three out of twenty-four members of the ghost army is secretly working for Lord English. Luckily, they all forget to do anything to help him. Or maybe they don’t and actually do turn on the army. I don’t know what happened because it happened offscreen.
* The Ghost army even still exists without Vriska and Aranea mind-controlling it. Everyone just decided “whatever” and stuck around
* It is established that Mituna has brain damage because he had to push his powers past his limits in a Mysterious Event for everything to succeed. Fans theorize he sent his Prospit flying off so it could land in the final session and provide Quest Beds to everyone who still needed one. The actual answer is that it’s never mentioned again.
* John has a tearful reuninon with Jane’s dad, who he’s never actually met before
* Speaking of which, Jane’s dad exists in a timeline where his biological mother wasn’t around until he was an adult. This is never addressed or explained.
* Aradia’s whole character in Act 6 is that she is a dispassionate observer who kind of wants to see reality be destroyed just for the spectacle of it but whose primary desire is to just not die again and thus she’s sitting the plot out. She then leads the charge against a god-killing monstrosity. Makes sense!
* A few pages before the final battle, Dave comments that the kids have never even met Lord English and have no real reason to oppose him. They’re never given one, except the post-credits explanation of “John was bored”
* The comic begins updating on Snapchat. The Carapacians kidnap Jane and hold her prisoner on the moon or something but no one cares about the snapchat comcis so it just kind of stops.
That’s really the fitting end for Homestuck, isn’t it? Canceled mid-storyline because no one cared enough to install SnapChat, yet still trucking nonetheless.
My favorite is nepeta never having a strong purpose, other then the fact that she had a crush on karkat. Hussie then throwing us hints about her confronting this with her ancestors connection with the signless, her cut scene with jasper hinting that she was to come back to life to address this, and never fucking following through with jack shit THE TWO TIMES SHE HAD BEEN REANINATED.
Don’t forget:
Cronus was prophesied to be important against Lord English, which never happened
John was prophesied to die heroically, which afaik never happened
Gamzee’s character had a fuckton of unresolved questions
just moving along like everyone else 