the-real-seebs:

alarajrogers:

candidlyautistic:

laprincesazorro:

julstorres:

kosmonauttihai:

rollerskatinglizard:

ceekari:

stayhungry-stayfree:

This is a really helpful page in my CBT textbook for tackling some of the maladaptive beliefs we often hold. The first column lists the rules and assumptions we often may tell ourselves, while the second column is a more functional belief. Just thought I would pass this along. Be kind to yourselves, friends❤

Oh my god, number 5. And 6, and 7.

I frigging needed that.

Failure is not a permanent condition.

The text on the image:

1. Maladaptive belief: 

   If I don’t do as well as others, I’m a failure.
   More functional belief:

   If I don’t do as well as others, I’m not a failure, just human.

2. Maladaptive belief:  If I ask for help, it’s a sign of weakness.
   More functional belief: If I ask for help when I need it, I’m showing good problem-solving abilities (which is a sign of strength).
3. Maladaptive belief:  If I fail at work/school, I’m a failure as a person.
   More functional belief:

   If I fail at work/school, it’s not a reflection of my whole self. (My whole self includes how I am as a friend, daughter, sister, relative, citizen, and community member, and my qualities of kindness, sensitivity to others, helpfulness, etc.) Also, failure is not a permanent condition.

4. Maladaptive belief:  I should be able to excel at everything I try.
   More functional belief: I shouldn’t be able to excel at something unless I am gifted in that area (and am willing and able to devote considerable time and effort toward it at the expense of other things.
5. Maladaptive belief:  I should always work hard and do my best.
   More functional belief: I should put in a reasonable amount of effort much of the time.
6. Maladaptive belief:  If I don’t live up to my potential, I have failed.
   More functional belief: If I do less than my best, I have succeeded perhaps 70%, 80%, or 90%; not 0%.
7. Maladaptive belief:  If I don’t work hard all the time, I’ll fail.
   More functional belief:

   If I don’t work hard all the time, I’ll probably do reasonably well and have a more balanced life.

hahaha jfc sorry i was just remembering a corporate retail questionaire that was like trying to gauge your work ethic and like, whether you thought it was okay to shoplift, and tbh most of the items on the maladaptive side would not have been out of place for things they wanted you to select

@fieldofbeans @childofaether 

Good mantra for the days to come ❤ 

Okay, but like, holy shit put these in perspective of ADHD or ASD and the whole 2G bullshit and I swear to god half of these maladaptave thoughts were burned into my by the very people who couldn’t recognize that there was a disability there to begin with.

If I fail at school I am not a bad person? If I don’t live up to my potential I have failed? I should be able to excel at everything I tried?

Like, no – these actually where the expectations put on me and I couldn’t meet them probably because they are maladaptave.

Is it any wonder that RSD busted through wall and shouted, “OH, YEAH!”

I actually literally cannot convince myself that most of these aren’t true. (For me only. I can cut other people slack, but not myself.)

it goes something like this:

Me: This is a list of maladaptive thoughts. That means they’re wrong and it’s a bad idea to apply them to yourself.

My brain: Yes, but they’re obviously true.

Me: How can they be obviously true when they’re obviously false?

My brain: They’re intellectually false. In real life they’re true.

Me: That makes no sense. You’re coming up with rationalizations.

My brain: I’m good at that, aren’t I? Here we go: These are true because you’re female and working in a majority male profession so you have to live up to these standards!

Me: No, I don’t. I have three female employees and I don’t make any of them put up with this shit.

My brain: That’s because they’re not you. You’re special. That’s why you have to meet these standards.

Me: Oh, so you’re going to play to my ego, are you now?

My brain: Hey, you managed to make it through life with a mostly high opinion of yourself. Do you think that doesn’t cost anything? You have to be perfect, that’s the price of being special. If you’re not perfect then you’re not special, and if you’re not special then you’re not anything and every bad thing everyone ever said about you is true.

Me: I don’t think that logically follows…

My brain: Oh, who does logic around here? You or your brain? I think I’m more qualified to tell you what is logical than you are.

Me: Yeah, but these are still maladaptive and stupid.

My brain: LA LA LA LA I CANNOT HEAR YOU

The thing about beliefs like that is that changing them takes significant time. So you can sort of get to the point of recognizing that they must be true, but they don’t feel true, and then you sorta… keep poking it. Keep remembering that you’ve been told, by credible experts, that these things can’t be true. Keep pointing out that they’re not true of other people, and that it’s ridiculous to think they’re true only of you. And so on.