jumpingjacktrash:

downtroddendeity:

evtrained:

downtroddendeity:

jumpingjacktrash:

ways to amuse yourself when you fail at sleep: google a cryptid

i have discovered that there are three types of lake monsters:

1. it has a head like a sturgeon and a tail like a sturgeon and a body like a sturgeon and ok yeah it’s probably a sturgeon but it was really big you guys
2. it’s exactly like nessie but it’s here in East Armpit, Michigan where your tourist dollars are needed most
3. it’s bigger than the lake and it breaTHES FIRE AND IT CAN FLY I SWEAR I’M STONE COLD SOBER ITS NAME IS INEZ AND I’M GOING TO MARRY IT (here i drew a picture it looks like 1800′s trogdor and i’m never backing down from this story as long as i live)

guess which kind is my favorite

@evtrained can you confirm this very important taxonomy?

There is one important cryptid missing – “No it’s this vengeful Native American ghost octopus woman from before time, it drowns people in the swimming hole that was dug out with a backhoe in 1962″

#Also the dude talking about this definitely said ‘Indian’ not ‘Native American’#He heard this story from his drinking buddies over a warm Miller High Life#He’s got a moustache and wears a cowboy hat and gets spooked at fresh seafood 

Thank you for this critical addition to the list. I know I can always trust your cryptid expertise.

now i see my search was incomplete, thank you for broadening my horizons