the signs as iconic nhl moments

aries: you can’t do that!
taurus: that one time pk subban tried to kiss carey price straight on the lips in front of a worldwide audience
gemini: i drink coffee before the game so i can fart in the crease
cancer: gucci purse
leo: what is violence, anyway?
virgo: i’d have my cock out if i scored four goals. i’d have my cock out, stroking it
libra: what are you the bottle police?
scorpio: i just wanted to say what a piece of shit i think lucic is
sagittarius: it was not an equipment problem, so let’s just leave it at that
capricorn: i don’t like any guy on their team
aquarius: if mike richards thinks we’re getting away with murder, i don’t know what he just got away with. mass murder? like are we stepping up a notch?
pisces: maybe he’s just jealous, i have hair, he don’t have hair