PSA if your house is haunted

roachpatrol:

jumpingjacktrash:

notaaronsroommate:

jumpingjacktrash:

roachpatrol:

jumpingjacktrash:

if you experience the following:

• lightbulbs being unscrewed
• things ‘walking’ off shelves
• doors opening/closing at random
• things that are propped up falling over

ask yourself: do i live near a truck route, railway, subway, or earthquake zone? if so, you can bust the ‘ghost’ by regularly checking loose items and nudging them back into place, tightening bulbs, and using doorstops. problem solved!

but why would you want to piss off the ghost of a truck, it’d be so much stronger and louder than regular ghosts?? im not risking it

if you are haunted by cargo transport vehicles of any kind, you can appease them by putting out a dish of 10w-30 on the doorstep

as someone who has experience in these things, whipping your dick out and jacking it is literally the best way to be rid of a ghost. they feed on fear and negative energy. Continually engage in power moves, angrily, at their expense and they will shrivel and die. Walk up to the ghost truck and stick your dick in its ghost grille and say “yeah lemme get some of that cold cold Ghussy” (the ghost truck will know this to mean ghost pussy) and so you have banished the spirit by making it realize that it holds NO power over you and never will.

Also get a carbon monoxide detector. Both because your ghost shit may actually be a carbon monoxide leak AND in case the ghost truck or train attempts to leave its ghost engine running in the house to kill you.

but what if the ghost truck is like

into it

i think we can all agree that fucking a ghost truck is the ultimate power move and you ascend to a higher plane of sexistance immediately, rendering you invulnerable to all ghost, truck, and atmospheric damage