jumpingjacktrash:

trickerydickerydock:

Thinking on it, Loki should really have just dropped the whole Asgard thing and moved to Greece to hang with the Olympians

Like, Loki’s worst bits of mischief, up to and including murder, is just Zeus’ casual Tuesday. Plus everyone is always busy either fucking with someone if not actually fucking them. There’s a god of drinking and theatre (professional artful lying, holy shit). Also a god of chilling in the woods and banging nymphs and/or lonely shepherds (ideal). Two love/beauty/lust deities (doubly ideal, good on Mama Aphrodite and Son Eros, great family tradition). No prophesy of an apocalyptic showdown to look forward to–or any kind of narrative to bind the gods, period (Fuck Yes). The local mortals are all nerds in togas or oiled up muscle men (c:). Balmy weather, access to spices (C:).

Honestly, it’d just be

Zeus: What convinces you, god from the north, that you have a place here among my family? Among the gods of sky and sea and earth, the gods who are all the power and inspiration of the world? What right have you, foreign trickster, to the gates of Olympus?

Loki: Oh, is this the job interview? Damn, and here I am without my power suit. Let me change real quick

Loki, naked: So my work history is,

Zeus, naked: Hera, have someone clear out the guest room

@roachpatrol you remember the idea we were playing with where hell was giving obsolete gods demon makeovers and jobs? and there was an angel named eggs who was wheel-sexual? i just realized what we need for that: hilarious pantheon mashups. like a yackety sax version of american gods.

speaking of american gods: thunder beings critique zeus’s bolt throwing technique while coyote eats everything and gets his head stuck in hera’s cleavage