Alaska, Arizona, California, Colorado, honorable mention to Maryland it looks insane but at least you tried, New Mexico, honorable mention to Ohio for thinking outside the box, honorable mention to Oregon for being indecisive, Wyoming, that’s it
Maryland flag best flag
And Hawaii deserves an honorable mention at least.
uh, excuse you, the Texas flag is great? it is like the US flag but Actually Good
here fine full listing of US flags because I apparently have a bunch of Opinions on them
image for reference:
Alabama: it succeeds at being a flag. the designers clearly understood what a flag is supposed to be like. not, like, creative, but it has the essential qualities of a flag. acceptable work, 5/10
Arizona: going for the opposite aesthetic from alaska but doing an excellent job of it. bold, gorgeous, definitely in the style of a flag without just copying from somewhere else. 10/10
Arkansas: flags should not have writing on them. and this isn’t even, like, a motto or something, it is literally the name of your state, in case you forgot. here’s a pro tip: the point of a flag is to stand for the state; that means you don’t have to include the name of the state, the flag serves that purpose already. did not read the assignment, 0/10
California: has the name of the state on it, see arkansas. but one point for putting “california republic” like they’re their own country, b/c that’s fantastic, and one point for the bear. 2/10
Colorado: they’ve got the right spirit, they’re following the principles, they’ve put in the work; it’s just that somehow they ended up with something that looks like a corporate logo. 6/10
DC: this is good, solid work! they understand what they’re going for, and they’ve ended up with something flaglike and original and pretty. it’s not inspired the way, say, alaska is, but it is still A work, if not A+. 9/10
Connecticut: again with the text. you can have one point for having the self-respect to at least put it in latin. 1/10
Delaware: text and a date? you’ve got to be kidding me. next thing you know you’re going to be putting a full MLA citation on your flag. 0/10
Florida: that is not a flag. that is your seal. did not read the assignment, 0/10
Georgia: tons of tiny text??? we asked for a flag not an essay. 0/10
Hawaii: ow. look, you turned in something that actually fulfilled the assignment, at this point i appreciate that, but still. also you put in the union jack. we fought a war to get rid of that, you know. 3/10
Idaho: again, this is not a flag, this is your seal. 0/10
Illinois: text, date, name of state, and it’s your seal, this is like a tour de force of What Not To Do. but the eagle is badass. 1/10
Indiana: augh this was so close to being a really solid flag and then you had to go scrawl your name across it! next time why not just spray-paint indiana was here across it?? 1/10
Iowa: text text text. 0/10
Kansas: again with the seals. 0/10
Kentucky: seal, 0/10
Louisiana: text, but the pelican stabbing itself with its beak is p cool. 1/10
Maine: no, that’s still not a flag, that’s your coat of arms. one point for latin, 1/10
Maryland: uh. wow. well, I appreciate the enthusiasm? and, hey, no text. i will give this a resounding 6/10
Massachusetts: seal. i’d give you one point for latin, but actually this is the one state where having your name in english would have been helpful, b/c seriously, who can spell that? 0/10
Michigan: coat of arms. seriously, what is with this? why did so many states phone this in? did they put off their flag designs until the night before it was due? 0/10
Minnesota: that is, once again, your seal. 0/10
Mississippi: on the one hand, you understand what a flag is. on the other, you have terrible design sense. and what is with the narrow white border around the canton? you don’t need to do that. 3/10
Missouri: look, this would have been a five-out-of-ten flag if you had just stopped when you had a flag instead of adding your seal. and if you’re gonna do latin, commit. 0/10
Montana: thanks for reminding us of your name. 0/10
Nebraska: not only is that your seal, it literally says “seal” right there on it. now your flag says that it’s a seal, right there for everyone to see. how are you not ashamed of yourself? -5/10
Nevada: yep, that’s your name. next time at least center it, jeez. 0/10
New Hampshire: THAT IS YOUR SEAL. IT SAYS SO RIGHT THERE. -5/10
New Jersey: coat of arms. 0/10
New Mexico: YES THANK YOU THIS IS A FLAG. excellent design work! original! very distinctively new mexican! 10/10
New York: coat of arms. one point for latin. 1/10
North Carolina: this would have been a perfectly good flag without your initials and the date. this is not a school assignment you do not need to put those on. 0/10
North Dakota: that’s your name. one point for latin. 1/10
Ohio: you’re thinking outside the box. i can respect that. i’m not sure it’s working for you, but i respect it. and you know what? despite the weird shape, i can still tell it’s a flag, because it’s made like one. not sure this is the one you want to stick with, but i look forward to seeing future work. 7/10
Oklahoma: name, 0/10
Oregon: you … your flag is … two-sided? i … no. no. but, what the hell, i’ll give you one point for sheer audacity. 1/10
Pennsylvania: coat of arms, 0/10
Rhode Island: aww, man, it was going so well until you put on a random “hope”. look, buddy, the point of a flag is you symbolize concepts like hope with imagery and colors. using words is for your state motto. but they are tiny and i feel bad for them, and if i take out “hope” it’s a decent flag. 4/10
South Carolina: okay, so you avoided the obvious pitfalls. no text, no name, no date, no seal, no coat of arms. points for that. but you have two problems. first, images on a flag should be simple. stylized. something you can draw perfectly from memory. that is, like, the least stylized palm tree i have ever seen. second, your flag is butt ugly. 4/10
South Dakota: that is your seal, it says so, and you put your name on twice. seriously. -10/10
Tennessee: you’re in the same boat as colorado, here. you have clearly read the instructions and tried to follow them. it’s just that you ended up with something that looks like the logo for a chain restaurant. 6/10
Texas: okay so i’m biased. but, look, this is A Flag. it is not the work of art that, say, alaska is, but it is practically the platonic example of flagness. there is no text, there is no coat of arms, it is distinctive and has good brand recognition, and it is simple. you can draw it from memory. this is what a flag should be like. this is what the US flag should be like. i mean, fifty stars, really? thirteen stripes? it’s supposed to be an emblem, not a high-resolution photograph. texas has it down. we have had six flags, we have figured this out. i’m not gonna award a perfect score here – much as it pains me, i really do think that alaska and arizona and new mexico have made artistic leaps that texas hasn’t – but it’s only just shy of that. 9/10
Utah: aaand we’re back to seals. the beehive is cute, why couldn’t you use that, it would stylize nicely. 0/10
Vermont: coat of arms. also, your text arrangement is deeply questionable, it looks like it says “freedom vermont and unity.” this would be kinda cool if it were the intention but i am p sure it is not. 0/10
Virginia: seal. one point for latin, two points for being frickin’ badass. 3/10
Washington: dear god why. this is your seal, it says it’s your seal, and not only that, it is a picture of washington. hot tip: portraits: do not go on flags. and not only that, it is a TERRIBLE picture of washington. that is, like, the WORST PICTURE OF WASHINGTON I HAVE SEEN IN MY LIFE. and my mother has a four-foot-high gilt-framed portrait of washington she hung over the dinner table. what were you THINKING. -100/10
West Virginia: that is a seal. also, the border thing looks dumb. 0/10
Wisconsin: name, coat of arms, i would give a point for latin but i am rescinding it for the sheer dumbness of “forward” on the banner there. like, seriously. 0/10
Wyoming: oh for pete’s sake. look, if you’d just stuck with the buffalo, this would be almost a cool flag. but nooo. you had to add your seal. which says seal. and doesn’t even really fit. this is such a trainwreck. -10/10
it looks like we have nearly identical aesthetic criteria for flags, so in consideration of the sheer amount of work you’ve put into this I will allow Texas onto the list, despite the fact that their flag looks like a small child tried to draw the US flag and got bored
Growing up in Maryland (with parents from Ohio), I never caught on to just how many states had “we put our seal on a blue background and called it a day” flags.
The MD flag is from English heraldry – it’s the banner of the first Lord Baltimore. The gold-and-black is the coat of arms from his father’s side; the red-and-white is his mother’s. You would think other states, especially the ones established by European colonists, could’ve dug up something with that level of historical interest.
Have you guys listened to the 99% Invisible episode about flag design? They do the municipal version of “0/10 this is a seal” a whole bunch. It’s fun though, I like Roman Mars
just moving along like everyone else 