Haus Couch Composition

measurelessgarden:

gutsybitsies:

christa613:

omgcheckplease:

35% dead skin cells
15% bodily fluids (butt sweat)
12% PBR
10% upholstered wood
10% “cushioning”
7% pizza grease
3% pie debris
3% an xbox controller that’s just like, in there
2% black mold
2%

bottlecaps
.5% organic vantablack

.5% a new breed of spider

After hearing Ransom describe “a weird crawly thing” he saw in the couch, word spreads through the Biology department and soon a grad student specializing in Arachnology shows up at the Haus and wants to have the couch declared a protected field work site.

Bitty: “Y’all mean to tell me, that THING…” *waves spatula from kitchen door in the direction of the couch* “…could contribute to the advancement of science?!?!?”

Bitty vs the arachnology students

idk. As soon as Bitty realizes that’s a way to get RID of the couch, I think they’d band together: I donated it to science, how can anyone complain about that? ¯_(ツ)_/¯