I had a Shower Moment ™ the other day where i realized that most if not all forms of bigotry follow the 5 stages of grief. here i’ve even provided some examples:
1. Denial
“Transgender doesn’t exist (in nature)”
“Gay doesn’t exist (in nature)”
“Female sexuality doesn’t exist”
“Black intelligence doesn’t exist”
“Pagan souls (and thus inherent value in their lives) don’t exist”
“Disabled people’s value to society doesn’t exist (ie. if its not monetary it doesn’t count)”
2. Anger
[Insert every slur and hate crime ever. I’m not gonna list them individually. Its too varied and too depressing.]
3. Bargaining
“I don’t have a problem with them calling themselves whatever gender they want, but I don’t want them in my bathroom”
“I don’t have a problem with gay people, I just don’t approve of that lifestyle”
“I’m okay with my woman wanting sex, but only if its with me and whenever I want it”
“I don’t have a problem with them living in my neighborhood, but I ain’t letting them marry into my family”
“They don’t have to go to the same church as me, but I can’t stand them wearing their pagan symbols in public”
“Yeah sick people need help, but only if they’re really truly sick (as I define it) and not faking like most of them are”
4. Depression
“You just can’t say anything now without offending someone”
“Back in the Good Ol’ Days you could [insert bigoted action without social consequences here]”
“These [slur]s just ruin everything! Now they’re in my [media of choice] too!”
“Well [person or media of choice] bought into that politically correct crap, so I guess I’ll have to stop watching/reading/listening to their stuff”
5. Acceptance
[That long awaited day few seem to reach where they stop being as much of an egregious asshole about whatever bigoted views they once held]
why the fuck does this happen?
my bet is because bigots are grieving a worldview that was once comforting in its familiarity and assuredness that they have since discovered is outdated
is it still shitty what they do?
hell yes
then why the fuck did you make this post?
because understanding why someone does a thing can help you figure out how to convince them to not do the thing
but there is other shit bigots pull that’s not on this post!
yeah. sometimes (additional) abusive behavior gets thrown in. usually in the anger stage but can happen in any stage. all i can say to that is sometimes people have bad coping skills. or are incapable of things that help minimize the damage they do to others before it happens. or they just don’t care how much damage they do.
sometimes the additional abuse is an attempt to force things to go back to how it was before. those tactics don’t work. or at least don’t work in the long run, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t leave a pile of hurt, broken, or dead people behind in its wake.
Huh. That’s pretty accurate. Explains why my usual strategies work, I think.
Bigotry follows the 5 Stages of Grief
Published
just moving along like everyone else 