pavonatedangel:

on loving the human

i. they will not appreciate all your gifts, will akin them to
a cat bringing dead mice to their feet. this is fine. everything else you give,
they will find gorgeous. if you are vain enough, give them something of yours
to wear. if you are rash enough, give them something of yours to wear. they
will find it beautiful and every Other will know you’ve claimed that one. be
sure no one else, such as Not-Cat or even the crows, have done the same yet. a
human, no matter their talents, would be worth such a war. you must remember
this, if you see them keeping feathers-blacker-than-night in their
hair/pockets/pouches. you might be able to fool them from another Fair, but, if
the birds have gotten to them, there is no return. best to pick another that
can catch your attention. any of them would start pleased with that.

ii. to appear human while first wooing them is best. you will
need two ears, two eyes, a nose with (only!) two nostrils, 32 teeth, 206 bones,
and about 640 muscles that do not slide or slip or slush. both halves of your
(singular) face must react together, but not mechanically, robotically,
stiffly, or in any manner similar to plastic or silicon. one side of your mouth
must not be higher or lower than the other unless it is a facial expression, of
a half-smile or frown. your eyes must not be too close together, or too far
apart, your ears must be even, the spacing of your
nose-to-eyes-to-ears-to-forehead must all be within a certain ratio. if you
must, watch a good artist space faces to see the estimate. but you must not be
too perfect, either: your teeth not too straight or too white, your nails not
too clean or pristinely cut or without variation, your skin not too
blemish-free. you need some faults in order to appear human. you must maintain solid form at all times.
still, it’s likely they’ll know, regardless. at least, they’ll probably
appreciate the effort. (remember, being seen without protection is even more
telling. keep sugar and pewter/tin/aluminum with you at all times; these will
look enough like salt and iron. it is also advisable you carry ‘offerings,’
even if you never leave them anywhere. creamer cups are most popular.)

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