bemusedlybespectacled:

jumping on the “humans are space orcs” bandwagon, I’m just imagining what our food must look like to an outsider

like imagine trying to explain that we eat spoiled food. like, sometimes it grows bacteria on accident and we dislike it, but sometimes we deliberately expose it to bacteria so the exact same reaction can happen but for some reason this time we’re okay with it and call it stuff like “wine” and “cheese” and “yogurt”

we eat capsaicin, a natural pesticide and fungicide. and we think adverse reactions to it are so funny that we make videos that are just people eating extremely hot things.

we eat halite, a literal fucking rock, with such frequency that a dish is not considered properly seasoned without it.

turducken exists