ok so let’s talk a bit about jobs vs passion. my last fulltime job was at a big game development studio; the kind of job you’re (supposedly) passionate about. most of my colleagues adored the games we made, and so they didn’t care that the company had a major diversity problem, that our salaries were below average, that we didn’t get overtime compensation yet stayed ‘til 11PM more often than what’s healthy, and that the company promoted an unhealthy alcohol culture. because we were passionate. this was the kind of job you grow up dreaming about; don’t go throwing it away because some colleagues are harrassing you or because you get no recognition for your efforts!
for more than a year I was tired. stressed. in constant pain. my anxiety was through the roof. I worked on these “dream projects” and I felt dead inside.
when I quit that job I started freelancing as a writer. I got some really good jobs. I also got a bunch of small-time, low-paid, “hey at least your name is on it so isn’t it enough to pay 10$ for this text?” kind of jobs.
with the typical millenial housing situation of an apartment that I could barely afford on a fulltime pay and a constant stream of job offers that were underpaid I spent four months doing what I love, while constantly overwhelmed by stress. my insomnia got really bad, and when I managed to fall asleep I would dream about my bank balance. I would dream of losing whatever stability I had left in my life, simply because I couldn’t afford a “normal adult life”.
and so, today I got a job. it’s a fairly standard QA job at a medium sized game development studio. unlike any other game companies I’ve been at they offer humane working conditions. they don’t expect me to show up too early and stay too late because I’m passionate. the hours are nine to five, and they disapprove of overtime. the pay is slightly above average, and I get health benefits. I’ve been through several interviews, and at no point has someone tried to belittle my career or tried to convince me to work for less than I’m worth.
for the first time in many years of my career, I’m happy. I’m at ease. I applied for this job because I wanted to get away from the passionate part of the industry. I wanted a job where I could go home at five and dedicate my freetime to my own writing projects. I wanted to work at a place that didn’t eat my heart and soul and energy as I contributed to projects that wouldn’t even bear my name in the end credits.
so what I’m trying to say is that there’s nothing wrong with having a “normal” job. you’re not giving up on your dreams if you take a job outside your main interests. if it offers stability in your life, it’s enough.
This really resonates with me because I left the architectural industry last year. The hours were unreasonable, work stressful and devolved into the new projects filling me with dread. My boss kept hinting I wasn’t doing enough, I wasn’t passionate enough… I finally left, and after a difficult half year, I finally found a job outside the industry. It is not a dream job, and it is not where my passion lies, but the work lets breathe. And I tell you, I now value “breathing” over “making my dream come true” any day.
if you have a job that you can do reasonably well without intense stress and leave at the office when you leave, you can actually spend as much free time as you like Making Your Dream Happen
like, yeah, you can settle down in a cafe on sundays and write your novel, because you have that time carved out and you can afford it. you can put extra money towards materials for your sculpting project. save up for a kiln or fancy paints or whatever. get a gopro and convince your friends to act in your arthouse zombie movie on the weekend because it’ll be fun.
dreams can be dreamed on many levels. jobs only have to be successful on one level, and that is the level where you make enough money to live your goddamn life.
Work to live, don’t live to work.
To all my followers who want to write, animate, and create – this is very real and true! Please take note!!
Academia is really bad about this. “Passionate” is conflated with “willing to work 60-70 hours/week, move anywhere in the country for a new job once a year, live apart from your significant other for years at a time, put your family life on hold, etc etc.” If you’re not willing to do all that, you just don’t want it badly enough. Fuck that. Fuck any employer who thinks that way.
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just moving along like everyone else 