prowls-analysis:

llyrica:

srsfunny:

Truth About Humans

What if the Humans in Space are most known for being suckers. Like, if you have some junk but don’t know how to get rid of it, just find a human to sell it to. Some humans may refuse to buy it, but you’ll find a human willing to buy it before you find anyone else who will.

And yeah, aliens get a bit of a bad rep among humans for that. Like, “Why in the world are they always trying to sell me junk?!?! I came out here to find exotic commodities, and this is what I get?! Screw space, I’m going home.”

But the clever humans encourage this reputation, and manage to get a lot of junk for really cheap prices because at least then the seller will get something out of the deal. And then the clever humans take the junk and reduce, reuse, and recycle the dickens out of it. 

Aliens begin to take notice of how these humans seem happy buying junk and yet always find a way to use it, and the aliens find this to be quite puzzling.

“Why do you not buy new parts, Fred? Surely you can afford to do so by now.”

“Well, sure I can, John – is it okay if I nickname you John? – but then where would all this junk go? I’d rather make it usable than clutter up the galaxy. Have you never heard of pollution? Better to Reduce, Reuse, and Recycle junk than have it clogging up your home environment. Humans have been doing it for generations back on Earth.”

*Blank stare* 

“Besides, why spend money when I don’t have to?”

And humans begin to be known as resourceful penny-pinchers as well.

Humans don’t always reuse things for the purposes for which they were designed, either. Aside from art installations (”Friend Reggie, why is there half an escape pod with a–is that a bird…?” “I think it’s supposed to be some kind of alien chicken thing hatching out of the pod. Don’t ask me about the daisies and polka dots. All I can tell you is what my dad told me–if it’s large, ugly, in a public place and you don’t understand it, it’s probably art.”), humans have that MacGyver crazy-genius for making whatever they have do suit whatever purpose there may be. We applaud and admire those who come up with particularly creative ways to use old things. We’ll make jewelry and hair ornaments out of pretty much anything that isn’t toxic to the touch. Musical instruments out of anything that can be coaxed into making a sound that doesn’t cause permanent hearing damage in under five seconds. Toys out of anything we’re pretty sure won’t hurt the kids. (”You use transportation parts to entertain your young?” “Sure, my kids love the tire swing!”) Costumes out of anything we can lift. (”What is that supposed to be?” “I’m a space station traffic transceiver with a pigeon problem! I made the pigeons’ steampunk gear out of a couple old type-translator machines I got on Elria-2. Cool, huh?”)

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