I have another terrible idea…

variablejabberwocky:

iblameashley:

Continuing with my Humans are Space Orc’s thoughts, I was thinking about how children might interact with Aliens, especially small children who have yet to learn to speak in full sentences and then this monstrosity of an idea came to me;

Keep reading

[putting OP’s under-cut text here because its adorable]

Rharzokk Dhudzug was a mighty warrior among his people. He had fought in countless battles across the Galaxy, won the admiration of his people and been given every medal the Galactic Alliance had. But war came to an end and he returned to civilian life, not easy for a Grungrak, but there was no other choice.

Finding work was hard. He was nearly four meters tall, with thick fur and four massive arms. His stature was stocky and heavy, and many were intimidated by more than just his build. He had retractable spikes fill with a paralyzing fluid, when startled, these spikes came out and stabbed people, and many Aliens were allergic to the fluid, causing sever pain or even death.

He had seen many potential employers in the weeks since returning to civilian life, but had not been contacted yet. Reading through the info-board on the stations promenade, he found a new listing. Multi-species vessel in need of a pilot. Primary species: Human. They were doing research on the frontier and needed a good pilot and someone good with pistols and hand-to-hand combat as they had seen some action with pirates. What was the harm in trying, Rharzokk thought to himself. He tapped the “Apply” button with his large finger.

It had been less than a day before he was contacted by the HumanSteve, commander of the SSV – CANARY, he was calling Rharzokk in for an interview. To his surprise, he got the job. Having looked over his experience through the GA Database and confirming his service record with Grungrak Operations, he was told they’d be happy to have him, and he was moved onto the ship within the next solar day.

The journey to Frontier Space took weeks, even at full FTL, and this had given Rharzokk, now going by ‘Zok’ for ease of human tongue, time to meet most of the crew and adapt to his new job.

Zok had voiced concerns about the presence of human children of the ship; they were in uncharted territory and potentially in danger, but Zok had been told several times that humans would not leave family units behind.

It wasn’t until the middle of the third week that Zok ran into the first of the human children. They were normally kept in a separate area of the ship for schooling, learning and entertainment. Zok had been told this was also due to human children being easily frightened of Aliens. But here in this corridor stood a small human child.

He stood incredibly still, trying to not make any sudden movements that would frighten the poor, tiny creature, who looked lost. Using the quietest and calming voice he could, he asked “Are you lost little one?”

The human looked up at him, eyes wide and mouth agape. The mess of blond hair wrapped around her head and she seemed to be in shock. She rubbed her eyes and continued to gawk at him.

Believe she hadn’t heard him, he repeated the question. “Are you lost little one?”

What came next nearly frightened Zol. A high-pitched screech came out of girl, but not one of fear, no, her mouth was in a wide smile and she pointed at him. “KITTY!” She yelled.

Confused, Zol pointed at himself and asked. “Do you mean me?”

She laughed and kept pointing at him. “Kitty! Big Kitty!”

“No young one, my name is Rharzokk, but you may call me Z-”

“Kitty!”

Was the translator broken, he wondered. He was getting irate though. Children weren’t supposed to be in this area, but he was too timid to pick her up, or even move for that matter. He already filled out the corridor, if he wasn’t careful she could be injured.

“My name is Rharzokk, I am a war hero of the Grungrak people. You will cease calling me by the name Kitty.” He demanded. Maybe showing his authority would make her more compliant.

“Angry kitty.” She mumbled, putting her hand down by her side. “Kitty take me home?” She asked.

She was lost, though how she ended up near the flight deck was a mystery. Zok crouched down, making himself as small as he could, and using one of his smaller arms, extended a hand to her. Humans likes contact, it was comforting. Or so he was told.

She took his hand and smiled at him. “Take me home?” She asked again.

He walked with her, at a much slower pace than he was used to, until the reached the crew area. There were many humans around, running around frantically. When they saw Zok enter the room, their eyes wandered down to the little girl holding tightly to his arm. A sigh of relief swept over the room as one of the women, HumanKatie, ran to her daughters side.

“Amelia!” She yelled, dropping to her knees in front of the child, “Where have you been?! I’ve been worried sick!”

The girls grip tightened on Zoks hand. “She was near the flight deck.” Zok said. “She was wandering the corridor when I found her. She asked me to return her here.”

“Big kitty helped!” Amelia blurted out. The room went silent and many humans covered their mouths, their shoulders shaking. Some seemed to turn around, while others knelt down towards the floor. Zok was confused, he had never seen or read about such a reaction.

Looking at the HumanKatie, he noticed she was doing the same, though water was streaming from her eyes; crying, he thoughts.

“There is no need to fear, she is unharmed.”Zok reassured.

“Thats not why I’m crying.” HumanKatie replied. “It’s just…” She was struggling to keep her composure. “She thinks you’re a cat.”

“A what?” Zok asked.

“A cat.” HumanKatie replied. She pulled a small device from her pocket and tapped a few buttons. After a moment of searching, she help up the device which displayed a small, furry creature on it. “A cat.” HumanKatie repeated.

“I do NOT look like that!” Zok grumbled. “I am a fierce warrior! I have been in many battles! I am not some tiny creature-pet!”  He crossed his upper arms and looked away.

“She doesn’t know that, Zok.” HumanKatie said. “She’s still too young to know the difference. But she likes you, you should be flattered, she doesn’t really socialize with the other kids, but she was more than happy to be with you. Don’t you, Amelia?” She turned to ask her daughter.

“Big kitty. Ami want kitty rides!” She yelled with excitement.

“Kitty rides?” Zok asked. “What are kitty rides?”

“She wants to climb on your back while you walk around. Its entertainment for her.”

“There will be no kitty rides!” He now had both set of arms crossed. “I am a pilot, not a Zakruk, or a Kitty.”

“I think you will…” HumanKatie said, “She’ll pester you until you do, and you don’t want to make her sad, now, do you? Not when she’s made her first friend?”

Zok spun around and began to walk away. “There will be no kitty rides from me.” He said. When he was alone in the corridor, returning to the flight deck, he thought about the ridiculous request. “Kitty rides.” He shook his head in dismay. Like he would ever lower himself to entertainment for a child. Then again, he never had offspring of his own… and HumanKatie said she had bonded with him as a friend. Maybe.

No.

It was too ridiculous. Humans are weird.