redporkpadthai:

des-zimbits:

*SLAMS FISTS ON TABLE*

WHERE is the Zimbits version of the man who forgot who his wife was after he had surgery, and hit on her, and was totally incredulous that he was mARRIED to someone SO BEAUTIFUL???

OKAY SO:

Jack comes out of an outpatient knee surgery about 6-7 years into their marriage (maybe a decade after they get together) and like Bob, Alicia and Bitty are waiting in the family area. And like Bob and Alicia come and check on him after he’s been placed in a room to come of anesthesia but he isn’t awake yet so they go get food for all them while Bitty waits with him.

Jack comes around, blinking blearily and is like “Oh, hey.” with his heavy accent.

“Hi” Bitty says back grinning.

Jack tries to sit up.

“No no, sweetie, you need to stay put,” Bitty says gently pushing him back.

“Why?”

“Cause you just had knee surgery honey,” Bitty says.

At this point Bob and Alicia come back and Bob is so amused he starts filming. (apparently he also had some sort of corrective surgery at some point (he’s a pro- athlete after all) and he says some wacky shit but this was before people had recording devices in their pockets, but Alicia has Stories™)

“Hey there champ, how are you feeling?” Bob says patting his shoulder.

“Pretty good, especially since I have a cute nurse,” Jack stage whispers gesturing vaguely towards Bitty.

“That so? Do you want me to introduce you?” Bob says to him, laughter in his voice.

“Yeah, that’d be great,” Jack whispers louder this time, looking up at Bob seriously.

“Okay champ, this is Eric Bittle, your husband” Bob says grinning.

“Hey there Eri- Wait what?”

“Eric “Bitty” Bittle, your husband,” Alicia repeats.

“What?” Jack ruminates on this looking back at Bitty who is sitting on the foot of his bed facing him. “Woah”

“Really?” he asks.

“Really,” Bitty pipes up.

“Wow,” Jack ruminates on this some more. “When—How— How long have we been married?” Jack asks.

“Seven years, sweetheart, it’ll be eight in July,” Bitty says.

“Wow,” Jack says again. “You’re a looker though aren’t ya, eh?”

He gives a lopsided grin. Bitty gives a hearty laugh.

“But you’re the cutest guy I’ve ever seen.”

“Thanks, honey”Bitty smiles, blushing.

“Like, whoa, give me a spin,” Jack says, motioning with his hand with the cracker he’s been given, shaking a few crumbs everywhere.

“Jack!” Bitty blushes and laughs. “Let me go ask the nurse if you can have ice chips yet. Do you want some ice chips honey?” Bitty gets up to the door and turns to ask him.

“Woah, your glutes are perfect,” Jack answers. Alicia gives a high-pitched shout laugh and Bob guffaws.

“I’m gonna go get you ice chips sweetie, keep eating your crackers,” Bitty says, turning red and escaping out the door.

Jack turns to his dad. “I hit the jackpot.”

Bob smiles patting him on the shoulder again and says, “Yes you did son, yes you did.“