The signs’ embarrassing families

moved-to-aradiiaa:

Aries: An Indiana Jones fangirl, a weeaboo who smokes weed, and a terrorist dressed as an Asian schoolgirl

Taurus: A huge Pokémon fan, a weeaboo with great hair, and the leader of a huge rebellion

Gemini: A hacker obsessed with bees, a clumsy skater boy who curses a lot, and a pilot

Cancer: An angry kid who reads romance novels, a party pooper with pants that go up to his chest, and Jesus with the same pants

Leo: A huntress who writes fluffy fanfiction, a Satan worshipper who looks like a cinnamon roll, and a female version of Tarzan

Virgo: A vampire with a chainsaw, a motherly feminist with badass piercings and tattoos, and a very protective mother

Libra: A blind lawyer who eats chalk, a radical skater girl, and another lawyer who rides a dragon

Scorpio: A pirate, a nerd, and another pirate

Sagittarius: Three robotic engineers who are obsessed with horse dicks

Capricorn: A high clown, a Satan-worshipping clown, and a homicidal clown

Aquarius: Harry Potter, Danny Zuko, and a serial killer who is bad with jokes

Pisces: Barbie, Nicki Minaj, and Hitler